But Duncan just sits there and looks at me.
“Are you going to sign this?” he asks, pointing at the contract.
“What do you think?” I ask.
“I wouldn't blame you if you did,” he says. “Henry's really dangling a nice carrot out there.”
“If you think I'd seriously consider it, you don't know me at all, Duncan.”
“I thought I did know you, Alexis,” he snaps. “And I never thought you'd be the kind of person who would lie to me about my own daughter.”
I wince as if his words had the force of a physical blow. Though they're just words, they sting like hell all the same – mostly because he's right. And the truth hurts.
“I'm sorry, Duncan,” I tell him. “What I did is inexcusable. Please know that it didn't come from a place of malice. It came from a place of fear.”
“I still don't know what I've ever done that's made you so fearful of me,” he says. “Please, help me understand this, Alexis.”
I shake my head. “It's nothing you did,” I sigh. “It's not you. It's stupid and irrational, but it's because of a life spent watching people with money get one over on those without. It's because of a life spent watching the haves take everything from the have-nots.”
A smile touches his lips as he looks at the floor beneath his feet. Duncan runs his hand through his hair, then finally lifts his head and looks at me. There's an inscrutable look on his face – one tinged with amusement. It worries me.
“What? What are you smiling about?” I ask.
“It's just – I had a conversation with my mother yesterday,” he explains. “And she said just about verbatim everything you're saying now. She told me all about what it's like when you have nothing, but fear everything. She said you feared having the one thing in your life that means everything being stripped from you.”
“She sounds like a woman who's been in my position before,” I probe, a small flicker of hope blossoming within me.
Duncan nods. “She was,” he says. “She and my father had nothing when they started. They struggled for years before his firm started turning it around. So yeah, she knows what it's like to be in your shoes.”
He falls silent for a moment and just runs his hand through the stubble on his jawline. He looks like he's thinking about something – probably something his mother said. Hopefully something she said, since it sounds like his mother is the voice of reason in all of this.
“I came over here with a head of steam, Alexis. I was going to tear you a new one,” he admits. “I was ready to have a knock-down, drag-out fight about all of this. What you did makes me so angry that I can hardly see straight, let alone think clearly.”
“Believe me, I understand your anger, Duncan. I'm ashamed of what I did, and I'm so sorry I did it. I truly am,” I say.
He nods. “I know you are.”
He's still avoiding my eyes and I can still tell he's angry, which is understandable. But, there's something more at play here. Something is keeping him from giving me the verbal lashing I know I deserve for what I did – and it makes me curious.
“Can I ask what changed?” I ask. “Can I ask why you're not blowing me up right now?'
He finally looks up, a rueful smile on his face. “A few things, actually.”
“Such as?”
“Such as the fact that the moment you opened the door and I looked into your eyes, all of the steam I came over here with evaporated,” he says. “Seeing your face reminded me that I love you, Alexis. And because I do, I at least owed you the chance to explain yourself.”
As I listen to him speak, the cold stone in my stomach starts to lighten, if only a bit. The dark and oppressive air that's been pressing down on me begins to lift, and that flicker of hope in my breast becomes an ember. I know we're not out of the woods just yet – not by a long shot – but, I'm hopeful that we're at least on the path there.
“Also, everything my mother said to me yesterday has been echoing through my head,” he continues. “And when you started saying some of the exact same things she did, about your fears, it made me realize she wasn't just pandering to me because she's obsessed with having a grandchild. She's been where you are, and what she told me is genuinely her own hard-won experience. She told me to not judge you too harshly or be upset. Because of my own upbringing, I'd never be able to truly understand or relate to what you're going through or feeling.”
She's right, he'll never understand. He grew up wanting for nothing. He never had to experience any of the hardships I did, nor can he ever understand the fear of losing everything to the whims of somebody in a financially and socially superior position. He can sympathize, but he'll never truly understand it.
“And the last thing is seeing that contract,” he says.
“What about it?” I ask.
“You didn't sign it.”
I shake my head. “No, I didn't.”
“If this were a play for the money, you would have signed it without a second thought,” he says. “I mean, Henry is offering you the moon.”
“He is,” I say, my voice harsh and bitter. “But I’m not that type of person. I don't just up and leave when somebody pays me to leave.”
There's a prolonged silence between us as we sit there, looking at one another. Both of us are processing all of our feelings and everything that's been said. The tension in the air between us has mostly dissipated. Though I wouldn't say we're exactly back to normal, I have real hopes that we're on our way there.
A smile crosses Duncan's face. “Were you tempted, though?” he asks. “To take the deal?”
I let out a breath. Since we're starting from square one and I know I need to earn back his trust, I have no choice but to be completely open and transparent with him.
“Honestly, I was, but only because when I didn't hear from you these last few days, I was fearing the worst,” I tell him.
“And what exactly was the worst?”
“That you were lining up a legal army to take Aurora from me,” I admit. “I thought if that was happening, it might be best to take the money, skip town, and start over somewhere new.”
He nods as if he understands – and who knows? Maybe he really does.
“That's – understandable,” he says.
I look at him, searching for some sign that will reignite that fire of hope within me completely. His face gives nothing away though. It's cool, smooth, and neutral. There is barely a trace of emotion in his eyes. And seeing that detachment on his face hurts something inside of me – because I know I'm the cause of it.
“Are we – okay, Duncan?” I finally ask. “I mean, are we going to be okay?”
He lets out a long breath. “I want to be,” he says. “But I'm not going to lie and tell you that we will be for sure. You hurt me, Alexis. What you did cuts me deep. You broke a trust with me.”
“I know I did,” I say. “And I'm sorry. More than you'll ever know. You will never understand just how much I wanted to tell you. How much I hate myself for not saying a word and causing all of this pain. I'm so sorry, Duncan.”
“I know you are,” he says, and his eyes lock onto mine. “I love you, Alexis. Just know that.”
“And I love you too,” I say. “And I am going to do everything I can to earn back your trust. I swear it.”
He gives me a small, warm smile. “Well, you can start by testifying against Brad,” he says and laughs.
“Testify against Brad? What do you mean?”
He fills me in on the attack and everything that happened. With his every word, my heart sinks and I grow a bit angrier. I can't believe Brad did that. I can't believe he could have killed Duncan because of his misplaced obsession with me. It kills me that Duncan paid the price because of me.
“How bad are you hurt?” I ask.
“Not very,” he replies. “He got me in the leg and across the torso. Superficial. I didn't even need stitches. I'm lucky he wasn't really into murder or I probably would be toes up right now.”
He says it with a laugh, but it only sours my mood even more. I want to kill Brad. Literally. I'm pretty sure if I had a gun in my hand, I would shoot him dead right here, right now.
“I'm so sorry, Duncan,” I say, absolutely mortified.
“It's not your fault,” he replies. “That was just one very disturbed man. I'm just glad he fixated on me and not you, to be honest.”
“Well, whatever we need to do, I'll do it,” I tell him. “I'll testify. I'll do whatever. I just want to see him locked up for a very long time.”
Duncan nods. “You and me both,” he says. “I want him out of our life permanently.”
Our life. He said our life. It's a small thing, but it makes the hope within me explode into a roaring fire. The fact that he said our life, as opposed to any other phrase, to me, is significant. Not our lives, lived separate, but our one life that we live together. It means that he's still picturing a future for us. And that makes me beyond happy.
Duncan stands up and closes the distance between us. He pulls me to my feet and pulls me into a tight embrace. My body melts against his as I return his hug. The warmth and sense of connection between us returns and it makes my heart swell with emotion. I fight them but can't keep the tears from falling.
Duncan pulls back and gently cups my face, wiping away my tears with his thumb as he looks into my eyes.
“Why are you crying?” he asks softly.
I sniff loudly and scrub at my eyes with my hand. “I just – I have something so wonderful and amazing in you. In us,” I sob. “And I almost fucked it all up. I almost threw it all away because of my stupid fears.”