I look down at the wound on my gut. It's bleeding a hell of a lot, but it's a shallow cut. Same with the one on my leg. They're superficial, thankfully. I'll need them cleaned and bandaged, but I probably won't need stitches or anything. Brad is as bad at murder as he is at relationships – which is a good thing for me.
I pull my cellphone out of my pocket and call the police. It's time Brad learns the consequences of his actions and even though we can't get him for stalking, I think attempted murder will do quite nicely. Brad will be going away for a long time. Hopefully, he uses the time constructively and can get some of the help he so obviously needs.
It's not long before my condo is swarming with cops and medics. The cops have a thousand questions for me that I answer as best as I can while the EMT's treat my wounds. I tell the cops to pull the tapes from the security office, so they can see that he was stalking me and lying in wait for me when I got home – which should earn him a little more time in prison.
Through all of the commotion, I remain focused on one thing and one thing alone – the fact that Alexis has been lying to me all this time about Aurora. I have a daughter. I actually have a fucking daughter. How could Alexis lie to me about that? Why would she betray me like that?
And more importantly – now that I know the truth, what am I going to do about it all?
Twenty-Nine
Alexis
I grab my phone and look at it for the hundredth time in the last hour. Nothing. No calls. No text messages. Nothing but continued radio silence from Duncan. He hasn't returned any of my calls or texts for the last couple of days and I'm starting to really freak out about it.
This isn't like him. Even on days where he's got really long rotations at the hospital, he'll usually shoot me a text or something, just to let me know he's thinking about me. But for the last couple of days, I haven't heard a word from him.
Sabrina told me that she's seen him at the hospital, so I know he's not like, dead or anything. Which makes me worry that I've done something. Or more specifically, that he's somehow found out about Aurora and is lining up his army to come after me.
I look at the contract on the table and feel a chill run through me. I wonder if Henry went back on his word – or just decided that I wasn't going to comply and sign the damn thing – and told Duncan about his daughter anyway.
I'm carrying her around, bouncing her up and down a bit, as I try to get her to sleep for a while. I need some time alone to think. I need to sort through all the garbage floating around in my head and I need to come to some decisions. More than that, I need to put a plan in place to act upon those decisions once I make them.
“What do you think, little one?” I ask.
Aurora looks up at me with those big brown eyes of hers. She's got eyes that remind me of Duncan so much that it makes my heart hurt knowing something is going on with him – and sends a deluge of fear running through me because I don't know what it is.
I place a gentle kiss on the top of her head and sing softly to her. The love I feel for my daughter is powerful and overwhelming. I never planned on being a parent – or at least, not an unexpected parent – but now that I am, I understand why people love it so much. There is just something about looking into the face of your child that lights up pieces inside of you that you never knew existed. There is more love flowing through me than I ever thought possible, and when Aurora gives me a little smile, or does something adorable, my heart just melts into a puddle of goo.
She's such a perfect little angel, and she fulfills me in ways I never knew I could – or needed – to be fulfilled before. There is just something about looking into her eyes or holding her tiny hand that makes pieces of me I never knew existed just fall into place.
Yet despite the outpouring of love, there is the constant threat and worry that it's all going to be ripped away from me. And now that Duncan has stopped communicating with me, that fear is becoming all too real and all the more urgent.
Aurora finally falls asleep, so I walk her into the bedroom and gently lay her down in her crib. I stand there for a moment, just looking at her. Admiring her. Letting the energy of my love flow from me to her, hoping she feels it. Hoping she feels safe.
I turn and walk back into the living room, gently shutting the door behind me. Setting the baby monitor down on the table, I take a seat and pull the contract over, spreading it out in front of me. I haven't so much as touched it since Henry brought it over, but with things suddenly so uncertain and up in the air, I think I need to start thinking practically. I need to make the best decisions for myself and my daughter.
Of course, I want Duncan to be a part of that, but if he's somehow discovered my betrayal and is lining up his legal forces, I'll need to protect myself and Aurora. And unfortunately, the only way to do that is to accept Henry's offer – although it pains me to even consider.
The other wrinkle in all of this is that I'd be forced to leave New York if I take the deal. New York is all I know – all I've ever known. This is my home. This is where I grew up and where I still feel the most comfortable. I've never been out of the state, so the idea of moving somewhere else, to a place I don't know, have no roots, and no familiarity with – it's terrifying.
But the other side of that coin is that I'll be set up well. I'll have money to provide a very comfortable life for Aurora. I'll have a lot of options available to me that I don't right now. I'll be able to build the life I want for both my daughter and me. One thing that's run through my head is that with the money, I'll be able to finish out my nursing program. I'll be able to do what I love, and I won't have to scratch and claw just to get by.
I'll also be able to tell the partners at the law firm to fuck off, once and for all. The mere thought of that makes me feel almost giddy. But the reality of the situation I'm in sobers me right up again.
There is no easy solution to this. There are pros and cons to it. The question is, which side carries more weight? Which side is the right side?
I start to read through the contract, carefully parsing every word. Henry made the mistake of underestimating me – though, that's a common theme in my life. Henry though, assumed that because I don't have a degree, I must be the stupid. He assumed that I'm ignorant and uneducated simply because I didn't graduate from college.
What he doesn't realize, though, is that when people underestimate me, I'm usually at my best. Despite not having a degree, I take great pleasure in proving that I'm nowhere near as dumb as they believe. And right now, Henry is underestimating the hell out of me if he thinks I can't read and comprehend what's in this document.
It takes me slightly more than an hour to get through it. He was right in that it's thick with legalese but having worked at a law firm and being familiar enough with the language, it's pretty easy to decipher. And as near as I can tell, there are no poison pills or hidden traps in the text of the agreement. My understanding of my reading is that it's as straightforward as Henry portrayed it to be.
In exchange for getting out of town and severing all ties with Duncan, I will be paid a million dollars. I will have a furnished home provided for me in the location of my choosing – so long as it's within the United States – and a ten thousand dollar a month stipend will be provided to cover the cost of raising Aurora. And if I violate the terms of the agreement, I will be forced to pay back every cent provided to me, plus a thirty percent penalty on top of it – a penalty I'm sure was included to further dissuade me from breaching the accord.
It's a lot of money and effort just to get me out of his brother's life. Though, I suppose Henry believes it's cheaper in the long run than having a trashy, money-grubbing, gold digger hanging around, sucking up the family's fortune – which is how he quite obviously sees me.
So, the question becomes – do I abandon my home and everything I know and sell my soul to provide a good life for my daughter? Do I turn my back on a chance at real love with Duncan – a chance fraught with uncertainty – so that I can ensure my daughter lives a life of comfort? Or do I roll the dice and simply hope everything works out?
Based on my own history, the chances of that happening hover somewhere between slim and none. Every time I roll the dice, I seem to crap out in life. My history is one filled with failure, disappointment, and the universe seeming to take great pleasure in kicking me over and over – especially when I'm already down.
I toy with the pen on the table, tapping it on the cover of the binder that holds the contract. A million thoughts are whizzing through my head and I'm having trouble latching on to a single one. There are good arguments to be made on both sides of the equation. There are good reasons to sign it and vanish, and there are good reasons for telling Henry to shove it up his ass.
I look to the bedroom door and think about who is just beyond it. Aurora. What would be in her best interests? Growing up in a life without knowing what it's like to go without? Growing up wanting for nothing? Would it damage her to grow up without a father? Or, would it damage her more to only know me as an infant, then to be ripped away from me and have to live with her father, raised by an endless stream of nannies?
“What's in your best interest, little one?” I whisper. “What’s the best thing for you?”
Unfortunately, I know she can't answer me – and even if she could, she probably wouldn't have the answer any more than I do. No, as her mother, it's my responsibility to make the decision for her.
Like Henry said many times over, it's my job to protect my family.
Thirty
Duncan
“Have you spoken with your brother lately?”
I sit down on the couch, a glass of scotch in hand and give my mother a rueful smile. “What do you think?”
She sips her tea and looks at me. “I think you two are stubborn, hardheaded, and set in your ways.”
I laugh softly. “Yeah well, his ways don't exactly jibe with mine,” I say. “I'm not really into letting somebody else dictate how I live my life.”