I stare at the man in stunned disbelief. I cannot believe he's actually offering to pay me off to turn my back on Duncan – Aurora's father – and never see or speak to him again.
“This deal is contingent upon you breaking off all contact with Duncan,” he says. “And never contacting him again. If you fail to hold up your end of the bargain, there will, of course, be legal ramifications.”
He taps the contract with his finger again to emphasize his point.
“This contract is fully legally binding, Alexis,” he says. “So, if you choose to sign it, then violate the terms of it, you will face serious repercussions.”
There is such a complex stew of emotions swirling around inside of me that I can't make heads or tails of anything. I just can't believe any of this is really happening. Who does this? Who pays somebody off to stay out of their brother's life? What kind of a cold, unfeeling, manipulative, and controlling bastard do you have to be to do something like this?
“Why are you doing this to me?”
Henry clucks. “That's where you're looking at this all wrong, Alexis. I'm not doing this to you, I'm doing this for Duncan.”
“I don't understand.”
Henry lets out a long breath. “My brother listens to his heart more than he should,” he says. “It leads him to make some very bad decisions –”
“Oh, and I'm a bad decision?”
He shrugs. “Let's see, my brother falls for an unemployed single mother, who lacks an education or any sort of social refinement? It's not exactly the best decision he can make.”
“You son of a bitch,” I whisper.
“I have to be a son of a bitch, Alexis,” he says. “Protecting my family's name and our legacy is my job. And that job includes making some difficult decisions.”
“Yeah, this doesn't seem all that difficult for you.”
“Well, some decisions are easier than others, I will admit,” he tells me. “Look, this has nothing to do with you, per se. You're a beautiful woman. Stunning, really. And I'm sure you'll be a terrific mother to your daughter. You just don't quite fit in with our – social station. I'm sorry if that sounds offensive or insensitive, but it's just the facts. It's just the way of the world.”
I sit back in the seat, my hatred for this man boiling over. “And your brother's happiness –”
“Doesn't factor into this and is ultimately, irrelevant,” Henry says sharply. “When you are a Clyburne, there are certain obligations you must meet and sacrifices that must be made to protect the family name and legacy. Since he's proven incapable, I will find my brother a more suitable partner and he'll learn to be happy with her. In time, he'll even come to love her in a fashion.”
That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works. You don't learn to be happy and in love with somebody. You either are or you're not. Yes, it can grow over time and as you get more comfortable and in tune with each other, but Henry is essentially talking about a forced, arranged marriage for his brother. What kind of a life is that going to be for Duncan?
“Let me also throw this out for your consideration, Alexis,” Henry adds. “When Duncan learns that you've been keeping this secret from him and that Aurora is his daughter, he's going to be very, very angry. If there is something I know he values above all else, it's honesty and loyalty.”
“I know,” I say softly.
“So, imagine the sense of betrayal he's going to feel when he finds out you've been lying to him this whole time. That you've let him believe your daughter is somebody else's,” he says. “And then imagine what he's going to do once he does find out. Do you think he'll want to stay with you after learning that you stabbed him in the back like this?”
As much as I want to say otherwise, the answer is that I just don't know. My fear is that he'll be so angry, he takes my daughter and leaves me all alone. My fear is that in his anger, he'll realize he made a mistake in loving me and will abandon me. My fear is that I'll lose him.
Of course, I cling to the hope that love – his love for me and his love for our daughter – will trump everything. I cling to the hope that his love will help him see past his anger to what's truly important. I cling to the hope that love really will be enough.
“Alexis? Do you think he'll want to stay with you knowing you lied to him all this time?”
I shake my head. “I really don't know what he'll do.”
“I do. I know my brother better than anybody,” he presses. “And when he finds out you betrayed him, he will start moving against you, Alexis. He'll take Aurora from you to start with. But he won't stop until he's taken everything from you. I'm a son of a bitch, but at least I'm upfront about it. Cross Duncan, though, and he'll make me look like a teddy bear, I kid you not.”
I shake my head. “That's not the man I know. That's not the man I love.”
“Ask yourself this, Alexis – how well do you really know Duncan? I mean, you've been in his life for like five minutes. What do you really know about him?”
I would argue that I know more about Duncan than his own brother does. But the point is not lost on me that we've been in each other's lives for such a short period of time that there are a lot of things I don't know about him. He's a complex and layered man, and there are areas inside of him that remain shrouded in mystery – areas inside of him I'll only ever get to know over time.
Time I may not have.
“If it's inevitable that it ends up with Duncan cutting all ties, leaving you alone,” he says, “why not get paid for it? Why not ensure you and your daughter a life of comfort? I mean, that's what you ultimately desire, is it not? That your daughter be well taken care of – and by you?”
I nod slowly, the oppressive weight of fear and an impending sense of doom pressing down hard on me. I suddenly feel trapped – like a rat in a maze. Every turn I take leads me to another dead end or blind passage and I don't see any way of getting out of this.
“Remember,” he says, “you have a choice. You can take your baby and leave Duncan now. Or you can let him take her away from you. You can lose just Duncan, or you can lose both Duncan and Aurora. The choice is yours.”
Henry gives me a small smile I think he means to be sympathetic, but it simply looks creepy and evil. Or maybe that's just because that's the perception of the man I have. I don't know, and I don't really care. I despise this piece of garbage of a human being.
“I'll give you a few days to think it over,” Henry says as he stands up and taps the contract on the table. “And to read through this, of course. Review it and if you have any sort of questions, concerns, or any other considerations that will ease your mind in signing it, please don't hesitate to contact me, Alexis.”
I sit back in my seat again, feeling completely shell-shocked. My stomach is churning, and my heart is thundering, as my thoughts and feelings swirl around inside of me with the power of a tornado. I don't know what to say or think right now. All I know is that my feeling of disgust for Henry Clyburne is as deep and powerful as the ocean.
“Right,” he says. “I'll be in touch in a few days and hopefully we can come to an accord, Alexis. There is no reason for any of us – especially that beautiful baby girl of yours – to suffer. Not when there is an avenue for her to have an amazing life.”
“Screw you, Henry,” is all I can manage to say, though it's without much conviction behind it.
He chuckles softly, “I’ll see myself out.”
Twenty-Eight
Duncan
“Good evening, Doctor Clyburne.”
I give the doorman a smile. “Evening, Donald.”
I'm beat by the time I get home and want nothing more than a hot shower and a comfortable bed. It was a long day and I lost a patient – a kid who'd been hit by a car while riding his bike. I did everything I could think of to save him, but it was too little, too late. I couldn't do anything. The hardest part was informing his parents – that was something I hated doing more than anything else on this planet. There is no easy way to tell somebody their loved one died on the table.
Watching the light snuffed out of the boy today made me think about Nizar – the kid whose leg I'd saved over in Syria. I don't know why my mind conjured up that image all of a sudden. Maybe it's to remind me of something good, or to try to blunt a terrible memory with a good one. I don't know really. But, as I think about Nizar, knowing that by now, he's probably back running around with his friends, playing soccer, it makes me feel a little bit better.
Not every day is going to be a successful one, and we are going to lose people. It's inevitable. So maybe the lesson I need to take away from all of this is to hold onto and cherish those good days, those successful days, to help me get through the bad ones.
I ride the elevator up to my floor and get out. As I walk toward my door, a smile crosses my lips as I find myself wishing Alexis was here waiting for me. I can't think of a better way to end a tough day than being in her arms.
It's still amazing to me that all of this is happening. Going from being a guy who figured he'd never find somebody he connects with and was resigned to a life spent not really living, to being a man in love, whose soul is on fire, and is more alive than he's ever been, has been an unexpected and wild roller coaster ride – a ride I don't want to end.
The other thing that's blowing my mind is that I never thought of myself as the fatherly type. I never even really considered being a dad. And yet, when I hold Aurora in my arms and look into her eyes, I feel so profoundly connected to her. There's something about her – something I can't put my finger on – that makes me want to protect her. To give her the best life possible.
I want nothing more in my life than to keep both Alexis and Aurora safe. I want nothing more than to spend my days making them both happy and living an amazing life, having grand adventures together.