Well, that answers the question of how Tina knew where I was and who I was with. Not that she couldn’t have found out that information on her own. The town isn’t big, and over the years, Tina has gathered a posse of bitches who, like her, hate the world and have nothing better to do with their time than fuck with people’s lives. They’re the main reason I’ve kept the very limited number of relationships I’ve had a secret from everyone, including my kids.
“It’s all right, bud. But from now on, if we have plans, keep them to yourself unless I tell you it’s okay to tell your mom.”
“Sure, Dad. And…” He nods then pauses, looking next door. “Are they okay?”
“They’ll be all right. It was a lot to handle, and your mom didn’t help matters.”
“Mom was really pissed,” he whispers, pulling his lips between his teeth. Most days, it’s hard to remember he’s still a kid and that he has a soft spot, since he’s always covering it up, trying to act like the big man when he’s around his friends, or like the typical teenager when he’s home.
“She was, but that’s not something you or your sister need to worry about. That’s something between your mom and me.” When I told the kids about Samuel, I left out the depth of my feelings for Shelby, because I didn’t want to hurt them. They knew their mom and I weren’t in love, and as they got older, that became more and more obvious to them, but I never want them to feel like they were a mistake.
“I don’t want to live with her. I mean, sometimes I do, but I like being here with you and Aubrey too,” he confides, studying me. I cut the space between us and get close, resting my hand around the side of his neck.
“I get that your mom is more lenient with you than I am. I get that she’s your friend and that you like hanging with her. I understand why you’d think it’s cool to live with her instead of me. I won’t ever be your friend, Steven. I’m not saying we can’t have fun together, that I don’t like spending time with you, that I don’t love you.”
“I know that,” he grumbles, looking at his feet.
Giving his neck a squeeze, I wait until his eyes meet mine, then continue quietly, “You can’t manipulate the situation to get your way. That’s not fair to me, your sister, or your mom.”
“That isn’t what I was doing.”
“It is. You may not realize it, but every time you use your mom to get your way, that’s exactly what you’re doing.”
His eyes flash with annoyance and his brows draw together. “You never let me go out with my friends.”
“Bud, you know that’s not true.” His eyes lower again at my words. “You’re getting older, Steven. If you want me to give you more freedom, you have to earn it.
“I can do that,” he replies, kicking the rocks at his feet.
Giving his neck one last squeeze, I lean in and touch my forehead to the top of his hair. “I know you can,” I agree, then let him go and move away, not wanting to make too big of a deal out of our talk. “Come on in and help Aubrey with dinner.”
“Sure.” He nods then stops when Tina’s pickup turns on the block and pulls into the driveway.
“Head on in, bud.”
“But…” He looks between his mom’s truck and me, his eyes flashing with conflict.
“Head on in,” I repeat more firmly. This time, he listens and heads up the front steps. I wait until he’s inside to move toward her.
Her eyes narrow on me and she rolls down her window, not getting out of the truck, which pisses me off. I should be a pro at dealing with her, having years of putting up with her bullshit under my belt, but it’s a fine line I walk every time we speak to each other.
“I would have liked to talk to my son,” she greets, glaring at me as I get close to her door.
“You can call him, or I’ll tell him to come out when I go in.”
“Such an asshole,” she hisses, shaking her head.
“Is this why you came by?” I raise a brow, crossing my arms over my chest, wanting her to get the fuck on with it. The sooner she’s done, the sooner I can go in, have dinner with the kids, kick up my feet, and have a beer before I have to go to bed and get up early.
“No, I wanted to apologize,” she snaps, and I roll my eyes skyward for a moment.
“Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you coming here tossing out attitude was a form of apology.”
“I shouldn’t have even come.”
“Probably not,” I agree, and she throws her hands in the air, letting out a loud huff.
“What do you want me to do, Zach? I can’t handle seeing you with her.”
“Who I spend time with is none of your business, Tina. I didn’t invite you to come into town and track us down.”
“You’re the father of my kids.”
“And?”
“And?” Her eyes widen. “You were in love with her! You were in love with her throughout our whole marriage.”
“You knew how I felt about her when you took my cock, Tina. I never hid that shit from you.”
“I hate you,” she hisses, and I shake my head, leaning in.
“When I was with you, I was with you. I didn’t step out on you, didn’t stray, didn’t do shit but provide for you and our kids and try to make you happy. You never wanted to be happy. Didn’t even try to let shit go and make it work between us. You can sit here all day on your high horse and make it seem like I was the bad guy, but deep down, you know it wasn’t me who made shit sour between us.”