The answer to that was fuck no, but I won’t tell my daughter that.
“She’ll be okay, gorgeous.” I give her a small, reassuring smile and grab my shed keys off the table. “I’m gonna go unload the truck. Do me a favor and keep an eye on your brother. Make sure he’s not doing something I’ll have to arrest him for.” I say trying to make her smile.
“He’s in his room, talking to Jay. He’s mad at Mom for telling you he wants to live with her,” she says, taking off her jacket and tossing it to the couch, where all of her and her brother’s jackets and sweatshirts have piled up. Looking from the pile to her, I wonder why the hell I even have a coat closet a few feet away. “Mom was really upset,” she points out, kicking off her boots near the door. “Steven said she was jealous.”
“Bre.” I run my hands down my face, wishing she was three again and oblivious to the world around her.
“I’m just saying you guys haven’t been together in, like, forever. Plus, she dates all the time, and you don’t care.”
“I don’t know why your mom does half the shit she does, and I doubt I’ll figure it out anytime soon.”
“Quarter in the swear jar,” she murmurs, and I shake my head watching her smile before it fades away. “Steven doesn’t really want to live with mom you know,” she says quietly after a moment, and I pull her in for a hug. My girl has been trying to hold our family together since she was little.
“I know that, gorgeous.” I kiss the top of her head then lean back to catch her eyes. “If you’re gonna be down here awhile, hang all those in the closet and take Steven’s and your stuff to your rooms.” I nod to the pile on the couch. “Then figure out what you guys want to do for dinner.”
“Fine,” she mutters, as I let her go and turn for the door, only stopping when she speaks again.
“She’s really pretty.”
“She is,” I agree, knowing she’s talking about Shelby. I also know pretty doesn’t even come close to what I would call her. When she was younger, she was pretty. Now that she’s grown up, she’s beautiful, beyond beautiful.
“Do you think they’d want to come over for dinner?”
“Not tonight, but you can ask another time, once things settle.”
“Okay, Dad,” she agrees, and with that, I open the door and step out onto the porch then head down to the truck and start to unpack it, keeping my eyes on the house next door while I do.
When Shel left years ago, I was determined to wait her out. I knew in my gut she would be back. I knew she just needed time to sort out her head. After three months, and no word from her, the reality of the situation started to effect me in a way that was unhealthy, and that was when I started drinking and doing drugs daily to deal with the pain of not only losing her, but our son too. Then one night, I fucked up in more ways than one and slept with Tina.
I wish I could say there was something about her that led me to doing what I did, but the truth is, she was just there. She honestly could have been anyone. The next morning, when I woke up with her in my bed, I ended things and cut her out of my life completely. That was also the day I realized I needed to get my shit together, so I went and talked to the sheriff at the time and asked him for a job since working on boats wasn’t going to get me the stability I needed. He knew me, and my history and told me if I was serious, I had a job, but that I needed to complete school first.
Two days later, I flew out to Anchorage. Four months later—a month after I got back into town—Tina showed up at the station and told me she was pregnant. Not only was she pregnant, but she was pregnant with twins, and she was keeping them and expected me to step up, be a father, and to try to work on a relationship between us.
I didn’t want to be with her, but knowing how badly I fucked up in the past, I was determined to try. A month before the kids were born, Tina moved in with me, and two months after their birth, we got married. I can honestly say I tried to make it work with her, but after seven years of listening to her bitch about everything under the sun and fighting nonstop, I knew it was better for my kids to grow up in a broken home rather than having them grow up broken. So, I told her I wanted a divorce.
It took two very long years to get shit settled, but in the end, I gained full-custody of the kids and Tina got weekends. The arrangement worked for her until recently, when she started needing more money, and somehow convinced herself that going for full-custody of the kids was the way to get it.
“Dad.”
“Yeah?” I come out of my head and look at Steven, who is standing with his hands in the front pockets of his jeans off the edge of the driveway, looking worried.
“Um… Mom said she’s coming over to talk,” he says quietly, and I can tell he doesn’t want to be the one to tell me the news, but Aubrey is probably ignoring her mother’s calls after what happened. Steven, who Tina lets get away with every-fucking-thing, will never not answer a call from his mom.
“Fuck.” I shove the last tackle box onto one of the high shelves then step back, lock the door on the shed, and shove the key in my pocket.
“I told her not to come.”
“I’ll deal with it, Steven,” I mutter, walking past him toward the front of the house.
“Dad?”
“Yeah, bud?” I stop to look at him when I hear the tone of his voice.
“I’m sorry about what Mom did. I didn’t know she would flip out like that. If I did, I wouldn’t have told her where we were.”