“It’s not about me giving up, it’s about her giving in.” I said it, but I don’t know if she heard me because we were separated by a bunch of guys, most of whom were as big, if not bigger, than me.
There was a lot of back pounding. There was a lot of congratulations and at one point Rowdy handed out cigars that had It’s a Boy written on the band. I took it all in stride and was happy that Hyde seemed fascinated rather than intimidated by all the colorful and exuberant people around him. He also seemed okay with the fact that wherever he went, Remy followed. She was stuck to his side like glue, which had Cora cackling and Rome frowning from my son to me in an entirely comical way. All I could do was shrug at him.
It was an onslaught of well-wishes and catching up. It was busy and fun, so when Rowdy cornered me when I was coming out of the bathroom I wasn’t really ready for it. I should’ve known something was coming my way from him; after all, I would have done the same thing if I was in his shoes. I knew all about the brotherly need to protect and defend.
He was leaning on the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. I rubbed my hands on my jeans and tilted my chin up at him. “I did my best, dude. It’s all on her now.”
His blond eyebrows shot up. “Just like that?”
“Just like that.” It really was that simple.
“Things seemed to be on the right track there for a while. You want to tell me what happened to fuck it all up? She’s my sister, Zeb, and you’re my friend. I feel like if I can help fix this, I should.”
“What happened is I told her that I needed her to be more than my lawyer. I told her I needed her to be everything and she told me she couldn’t. She’s lost somewhere where she didn’t matter enough to the people she was supposed to matter the most to and I can’t help her find her way out of that.”
He frowned a little and pushed off the wall. “But she’s great with me. She fought to have me in her life even when I resisted, and she’s amazing with Poppy. You can’t tell me she doesn’t love that girl like she’s her own flesh and blood.”
I rubbed both my hands over my beard and shrugged. “You’re the only real family she’s ever had. That asshole that raised her, and her mother, sure as hell don’t count. She’ll hold on to you for dear life because without you, she thinks she’ll be alone . . . really and truly alone. And Poppy is like a bird with a broken wing. Sayer is nursing her back to health, but she knows one day she’s going to be able to fly again, so she isn’t worried about her leaving, she knows she’s gonna go. With me she has to take the risk that I’ll stay, that I’ll be there no matter what, that I’ll love her even if things aren’t always easy. She has to trust that she’s enough, more than enough, and I can’t tell her that. She just has to know it and believe it. It has to be her truth.”
He let out a low whistle and tossed his hands up in the air. “I was ready to give you some long-winded lecture on why she is amazing and how you just had to fight through the wreckage of her past to get to the heart of gold she has, but you just outbrothered me.”
That made me snort. “I have a sister, too. I get it.”
He reached out and clasped me on the shoulder and gave me a little shake. “By the way, Rome told me about the run-in at the Bar a few weeks ago. I know it could have been bad for you to get mixed up in anything physical with everything that was going on with the custody case, but thank you for keeping my sister safe.”
I blinked in surprise. “Did Church tell him what happened?”
“Yes, but he also saw the tape. That guy was pawing at Sayer and she was terrified. You did the right thing.” He gave me another little shake since I couldn’t come up with a reply. “For what it’s worth, I think you did the right thing before as well.” He lowered his voice and leaned closer so that we were almost nose-to-nose. “Sometimes we have to suffer and give up a piece of ourselves to do the right thing for someone that we love. I’ve been there.”
He pulled back from me, but I could still feel his words lying heavy on my shoulders. I didn’t know the ins and outs of Rowdy’s whole history, but I did know that he had done something similar to what had landed me in prison when he was younger. I had lost years of my life, he had lost a full-ride scholarship. I wasn’t sure it was the same, but it made me feel a little bit better that he did indeed know where I was coming from, then and now. Just like with his sister, there was no judgment about what I could have done differently; only acceptance for the things I had done. It soothed some part of me that was always so frayed and worn.
We walked back toward the living room, where everyone was winding down. Hyde was sitting on the floor watching TV and Remy was curled up in a little ball next to him fast asleep. Rome stopped me with a hand in the center of my chest before I could grab my kid and say my good-byes.
“What’s up?” I said. Rome Archer was one of the few men I had met in my lifetime that I didn’t have to tilt my head downward to make eye contact with. And if that wasn’t intimidating in itself, the scar that bisected half his face and the stern set of his mouth would be.
“My kid seems taken with your kid.”
I chuckled. “She’s two. I think you have a minute before you start worrying about her chasing boys around.”
He grunted and turned to look at the two little kids. “He seems like a good kid. If he’s anything like his old man, I don’t mind her chasing him around. I won’t let her catch him until I’m good and ready, but all that running around is the only thing that’s finally wore her out.”