“Jesus Christ, Kennedy…”
“I know, I know. You don’t even have to say it.”
“Oh, but I will,” she says. “I’m not going to tell you what to do. I mean, I want to. I want to tell you to get a restraining order, but I won’t. I know he’s her father…”
“He’s also your brother.”
She shoves her hand in my face, pushing my head away. “Ugh, don’t remind me.”
Standing, she slips her shoes on, smoothing the creases from her clothes.
“You can stay, you know,” I tell her. “You don’t have to rush off.”
“I know,” she says, playfully roughing up my hair until I smack her hand. “But the universe demands balance. You didn’t give it up tonight, which means it’s up to me, so I’m off to do my civic duty.”
“Ah, to be young again.”
She flips me off.
Truth is, Meghan’s got me beat by a few years. She’s on the cusp of turning thirty and isn’t anywhere close to settling down. She’s so carefree that she makes me feel like an old fogy.
“Love you,” she says.
“You, too, Meghan.”
“Love you, cinnamon-sugar apple-fritter!” she yells as she opens the front door, her voice carrying through the apartment.
I don’t expect her to get a response, but a sleepy voice calls from the bedroom, “Love you!”
Meghan looks at me, trying to appear serious, pointing to her eyes before pointing at me, warning me she’ll be watching.
Before I can respond, she’s gone.
I didn’t really know Meghan until Maddie came into the world. We’d spoken a few times, saw each other in passing, but she had a life pretty far removed from her brother. She wanted to know her niece, though, and we grew close after that.
Sighing, I turn off the television, locking up before heading for bed. I stall outside Maddie’s bedroom, lurking in the doorway, those blue eyes shining out at me. “Hey, sweetheart. You have fun tonight with Aunt Meghan?”
She nods. “Did you have fun with your date?”
“Sure,” I say. “It was nice.”
“Did he say you were pretty in your dress?”
“Uh, no.” I glance down at myself. “I don’t think he noticed.”
“Why not?”
“Sometimes people just don’t notice things like that.”
“I did,” she says. “I don’t think you should like them as a date if they don’t notice pretty dresses. ‘Cuz you can see it, but if they don’t see it, then they don’t look. And they should look at you on dates when you’re pretty.”
“You’re right,” I say—she’s too smart for her own good. “That’s some really great advice.”
She smiles as I stroll over, leaning down to kiss her forehead.
“Get some sleep,” I tell her. “Maybe we can do something special tomorrow.”
“Ducks! Ducks! Ducks! Ducks!”
I shake my head as Maddie snatches the pre-packaged bags of kale off of the platform beside the cash register, excitedly chanting that word, hardly giving Bethany a chance to even scan them, much less toss them in bags with the rest of our stuff.
“You going to see the ducks today?” Bethany asks with a laugh, taking my money when I pay.
“Yep!” Maddie says. “Picnic with the ducks! Right, Mommy?”
“Right,” I say—if Lunchables with juice boxes count as a picnic, which I like to think it does.
Bethany dramatically frowns Maddie’s direction. “Lucky girl. I’m stuck working all day, unlike your mama, so no feeding ducks for me.”
“The ducks eat all the time,” Maddie tells her. “Every day, too, so you can feed them when you’re not working!”
“You know, you’re totally right,” Bethany says. “I’ll have to remember that.”
Maddie smiles, satisfied, as she starts dancing around like she’s playing hopscotch, jumping from square to square on the checkered floor.
Bethany counts out my change as she switches topics, rambling about schedules and days off and blah, blah, blah… precisely everything I don’t want to talk about, but I humor her before making my escape. I look around for Maddie, spotting her at the end cap of the checkout lane, looking right at the exact thing she shouldn’t be seeing.
Hollywood Chronicles.
“That’s about enough of that,” I say, pressing my hand to her back, steering her away from it. She doesn’t fight me on it, and I’m instantly grateful she’s just now learning how to read, because that means she didn’t understand half of what I saw on that cover.
JOHNNY CUNNING REHAB SHOCKER!
Alcohol, Drugs, and a Sex Addiction Tearing Breezeo Star’s Life Apart!
Friends concerned he’s knocking on death’s door!
I lead her out of the store, carrying our picnic stuff as she drags along the bags of kale. I’m digging my car keys from my pocket, trying to keep an eye on her, when she digs her heels in, dropping one of the bags.
I nearly step on it, hearing her as she whispers, “Breezeo.”
“I know, sweetheart,” I mumble, snatching up the bag of kale, about to hand it back to her when she yanks away from me.
“Breezeo,” she says again, a little louder this time, gone from my side in a blink. Running.
“Madison!” I call out, darting after her. “Stop!”
Maddie doesn’t stop, but I damn sure do. She’s barely ten feet away, heading for someone approaching the grocery store. She runs right up, blocking the path as she says it again. “Breezeo!”
Oh god.
Oh no.
No, no, no…
Breezeo.
Jonathan stands there, blinking down at her, confusion clouding his face. I’m not sure how she recognized him, with scruff covering his jaw, still all banged up. He looks like a battered version of the actor, not the character.
My chest tightens as I hold my breath. He doesn’t recognize her right away, but I can tell the moment it kicks in. There’s a flicker of shock he can’t conceal before his expression straightens out. He might be panicking, but he isn’t showing it, not that I can see.
Yet, he says nothing.
He stares at her in silence.
I’ve imagined this moment so many times, in so many different ways, none of which I’m even remotely ready for, but it was never like this. I have no idea how he’s going to react, no idea what he’ll do. It’s so far out of my control that I want to just grab her and run.
Jonathan’s eyes meet mine, widening, pleading. There’s the panic. Carefully, I step toward them.
“Breezeo?” Maddie says again, standing right in front of him, drawing his attention back to her. She sounds hesitant now, conflicted by how he’s acting, a fact that seems to spur him into action.
“Hey there,” he says as he kneels down, eye-level with her. “Don’t say that too loud. People might hear.”
“Mommy says she got my drawing to you,” she says excitedly, whisper-shouting. “Did you see?”
He smiles slightly. “I did.”
I can barely hear his voice. He stares at her like he’s committing her face to memory, like he fears this may be the only time he ever sees it.
“Did you like it?” she asks. “Did it make you better?”
“I loved it,” he says. “And it made me feel a lot better. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Breezeo!”
His gaze meets mine. He cocks an eyebrow. He’s waiting for me to do something, but what?
“Maddie, sweetheart, we’ve talked about this,” I say. “He’s not really Breezeo, remember?”
“I know that.” She rolls her eyes dramatically, like I’m being crazy. “He’s Johnny, like on the TV and the papers and stuff, but he’s still Breezeo too, right?”
“Right… I think.”
“Sounds about right to me,” he says, holding his left hand out to her. “My name’s Jonathan, though. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”