It wasn’t mine.
When Landon walked in, I asked, “Did you buy me a stuffed animal?”
“No. Why? Do you want me to?”
Walking over to the shelf, I lifted the brown bear. “I just noticed this one. It’s not mine.” I handed it to him.
Landon’s expression grew to one of concern as he inspected it. “You know there’s a zipper back here.” He opened the bear to find a camera inside. “This a fucking spy cam!”
My heart started to race. “What?”
“Look…the nose is the lens.” Landon’s hands were shaking. I’d never seen him so worked-up. “That sick fuck must have been filming you.”
Admittedly, I probably hadn’t taken a good look at the shelf since Lenny moved out, so I had no way of knowing how long the bear had been there. Since we’d changed the locks, it was doubtful that he’d been back since leaving. Still, it definitely shook me up.
He threw the bear on the bed. “It’s empty…no tape or anything inside. Will you let me go to the fucking police now?”
“No. I don’t want any trouble. I know that sounds crazy…but I just want to let it go.”
Landon let out a frustrated breath. “I have to work harder at finding us a new place.”
Looking for a new apartment had somehow fallen by the wayside. With each day that had passed after Lenny left, it’d seemed less necessary to move.
But this unsettling discovery definitely opened old wounds, making the need to relocate once again a priority.
FERRIS WHEEL
Lilith turned eleven this week.
I’d only been around for a couple of birthdays with her, but they were always bittersweet.
This year was going to be different because Landon was here to help me celebrate. That would hopefully distract me from the inevitable moments when my mind wandered to the day she was born or to thinking about the years that I missed.
Even though her birthday had technically passed, we’d be marking the occasion tonight. It happened to work out that the carnival was in town, so we planned to take her there in the early evening after the truck closed.
Around 4PM, Landon was taking a quick shower after a long day of work. I had already gotten dressed and was waiting for him, feeling really anxious for some reason.
Landon emerged from the bathroom with a small towel wrapped around his waist. A few droplets of water were dripping down the veins of his ripped torso. He looked good enough to lick.
He approached me in the middle of the living room, and his towel dropped to the floor. His fully erect cock was on full display.
“Be careful,” I said. “The curtain’s open and God forbid, my father walk in.”
“That would serve him right because he promised not to barge in anymore. It’s bad enough he leaves religious statues around that judge me when I’m getting you from behind in the kitchen.”
“She’s not judging you. She brought us together.”
“Say what?”
“I prayed to her right before you called me to tell me you were moving here.”
“Oh, good.” He tugged on my tank top. “Then she won’t mind if I stick my dick between those beautiful tits right now, either? The whole time I was in the shower I kept thinking about how good they look in this shirt. I was getting really horny but intentionally didn’t jerk off in the hopes we could have a quickie.”
As much as it pained me, I said, “We can’t. We’re already late.”
I leaned in, taking his cock into my mouth and giving it one quick suck before abruptly stopping and getting up. “You need to get dressed.”
He held his arms out, his erection sticking straight up in the air. “Okay, that was just cruel. You’re so going to hell for that.”
We really lucked out with the weather. It was dry and comfortable with only a slight chill in the air.
The sun was just starting to set as we made our way over to the ticket booth for the second time. We’d already played a lot of games and needed more tickets for the rides.
Slowly inching forward in the long line, we waited patiently. My eyes landed on a little girl who looked to be about three. Her scoop of ice cream had fallen off of the cone. When she started to cry, her mother bent down to comfort her.
I looked over at Lilith. It made me sad that I’d missed those years with her, all of those little moments when she might have been sad and I wasn’t there to make it better. I willed those thoughts away, reminding myself that this was supposed to be a happy occasion.
Landon handed Lilith a long strip of tickets.
“Are these all for me?”
“Well, they’re for me, too, birthday girl. You think I’m gonna let you go on all these rides alone? That’s no fun. Do you know what you want to go on first?”
She beamed at him. “The bumper cars.”
“Okay, let’s do it.”
I wasn’t a fan of rides, so I opted to hold the huge, stuffed animal he’d won for her instead. With a giant cow in one hand and pink cotton candy in the other, I stayed on the sidelines while they ventured off together.
I imagined that Landon was sort of like the big brother Lilith never had. It melted me to see how well they got along. Lilith’s father, Jack, worked a lot and wasn’t the type to get his hands dirty or let loose at a carnival. I couldn’t picture my own dad running around a carnival with me, either. We’d never done things like this together. He’d call it “foolish” or a “waste of money.”
When they returned after going on several rides, Lilith reached for her cotton candy.
She put a big, fluffy piece in her mouth before she said, “Rana, you have to go on The Sizzler.”
“Oh, no. The one time I went on that as a kid, I got really nauseous and threw up. I can’t do spinning.”
“You have to go on something. The carnival only comes once a year.”
I couldn’t disappoint her. “Okay, maybe the bumper cars? I can handle anything on the ground or that doesn’t move too fast.”
Landon flashed her a mischievous look. “I think we should find someone to hold that stuffed animal so we can both team up on Rana and crash into her. What do you think?”
“I like that idea.”
“Well, thanks a lot, guys.”
Waving his hand toward the booth, he said, “Let’s go get some more tickets.”
Back in the long line, Landon opened his wallet just as a brisk wind hit us, blowing some of his receipts and loose bills onto the ground. One of the other items that fell: the old picture of us that his mother had given him.
My heart nearly stopped as Lilith bent down to pick it up. She flipped it around to look at it. Since it landed with the back facing up, I knew she likely saw our names written on it.
She’d never seen a picture of me as a child before. That was very intentional due to our resemblance.
My body stilled.
When Landon realized she was holding the photo, he looked at me in a panic. Then, both of our eyes were glued to her, waiting for some kind of response.
She handed the photo back to Landon but didn’t say anything.
“Thanks,” he said. He glanced over at me then at her. “Ready to go?”
She nodded.
Had I dodged a bullet?
I honestly didn’t know. It wasn’t like Lilith not to inquire about something, especially a picture of two kids around her age. Had she not noticed the names on the back? Had she not picked up on my resemblance to her?
My breathing slowed a bit as I tried to convince myself that everything was fine while we headed to the bumper cars. A sweet grandmother agreed to hold the stuffed animal so that the three of us could go together.
Landon and Lilith made due on their promise to target me. Being the horrible driver that I was, I kept bumping into the wall when the two of them weren’t crashing into me.
After we exited the bumper cars, Lilith handed me the last of her tickets. “I want to go on the Ferris wheel one more time before we leave. Will you go with me, Rana?”
As much as I hated heights, I just couldn’t say no to her.
As we waited our turn to get on, I glanced back at Landon and smiled at my tatted bad boy holding the giant, stuffed cow. He blew me a kiss.