His enthusiasm was really cute. “I couldn’t imagine walking by this truck and not stopping. And when people come for lunch, they can meet the real Rana if you happen to be working with me that day. That will be quite a draw.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that the idea of being on public display didn’t appeal to me at all. But this was clearly a done deal. He must have paid a fortune to have this designed. And it was sweet that he wanted to dedicate his business to me.
There was only one response. “I love you. Thank you for this gesture.”
The excitement in his eyes was palpable. “Thank you for inspiring me, beautiful.”
It was the grand opening of the truck, and the weather was unusually warm for spring in Michigan.
Landon had parked Rana’s Banana right outside of the campus green. He’d been given a license to operate at that location for a year.
Students flocked to the unusual food truck, curious about its contents based on the sultry caricature of me. I had to admit, Landon’s edgy marketing idea was pretty clever. The bustling crowd of hungry students proved that he’d sparked their curiosity with the sexy image. And it seemed he’d also tapped into something that was missing, because there were no other food trucks in the vicinity.
Perhaps, even more special than the decal of me was his other idea. On the opposite side of the truck, he’d attached a giant dry erase board. At the top was written: Tell Me Something Funny. It was a tribute to the question he’d always ask me when he was feeling down.
The students really got a kick out of it and took turns borrowing the marker.
Within an hour, the board was full of funny sentences. There were a wide variety of jokes, some humorous, some dumb, and some bizarre. Things like:
I sharted in class today.
or
My roommate ended up with breast implants after getting drunk and losing a bet in Thailand. He’s currently raising money to get them removed.
The idea was ingenious because the students would stop to write something then smell the amazing food and decide to order.
Landon had five specialty sandwiches on the menu, and I worked hard to memorize the ingredients of each.
The best part of the first day was when the lunch crowd died down, and Lilith came by in the late afternoon. Her nanny had picked her up after school and brought her down to check out the truck.
Landon leaned out of the window. “What can I get for you, Sassypants?”
“That is seriously the scariest picture of Rana I have ever seen.”
“You don’t like it?” He laughed.
“No, I meant scary close to how she looks.”
“Oh, good. I agree.”
“Can I see the inside?”
“Of course, you can,” I said.
The nanny stayed back reading a book on the grass while we entertained Lilith inside the truck for a bit.
Landon’s mood always seemed to brighten when Lilith was around. I think she reminded him of being a kid, an innocent time in our lives, especially given that she looked like my younger self.
“What can I make for you, Miss?”
“I’ll take a Fickle Pickle, but I want to help make it.”
“Okay. Rana’s gonna grab us the ingredients, and I’ll let you make it yourself.”
I stood back with my arms crossed, watching as Landon guided her through the process.
“I don’t know, Landon. I think Lilith might be vying for my position as your assistant.”
He looked over at me and winked. Watching Landon with her gave me a serious warm and fuzzy feeling. I knew he would make an amazing father someday, that is, if he wanted kids; we’d never discussed it. Up until very recently, I was pretty sure I would never have another child.
One thing I knew for certain was that Landon would always look out for Lilith. She didn’t realize it, but the handsome goofball helping her make that sandwich was someone who would always have her back, just like he had mine.
During a visit with Lilith a few weeks later, I was completely blindsided.
I probably never realized how much I needed Landon until that afternoon when I literally ran from Lilith’s house to the university.
Landon was closing the truck down for the afternoon when I’d arrived on campus.
He immediately recognized that something was off. “What’s wrong, Rana?” Dropping everything, he ran out of the vehicle and held me. “You’re shaking. Did someone try to hurt you?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“What happened?”
“I was with Lilith and…” I sucked in some air.
“What?”
“She started talking to me about how she often wonders where she came from.”
He took me in his arms. “Oh, baby. I’m sorry.”
“I knew this day would come, but I still wasn’t prepared for it.”
“I know you weren’t.”
“I’m realizing now that I can’t do this. I can’t pretend to not know anything and lie to her face. I’ve gotten really lucky up until now, but I just don’t know how to fake it. It just seems cruel.”
“How did you handle it?”
“I barely did. I feel like she could tell something was wrong with me. I listened to her, nodded a lot. It was awful. I pride myself on being open and honest with her. But this is the one thing I can’t talk about, not until they give me permission.”
My breathing was becoming choppy really fast. Landon knew I was prone to panic attacks. He continued to hold me tightly until I calmed down.
“Hop in the truck. Let’s go home. We need to talk about some stuff, and it can’t wait.”
“I can’t handle anything more today, Landon.”
“It’s not anything bad—at all. I promise. It’s just a long overdue conversation, and it relates to what happened today.”
He finished the last of his cleaning up as I sat there in a daze.
Sitting on the truck floor, I closed my eyes as Landon drove us back to our apartment.
Once home, he disappeared into the bathroom. When I heard the water running, I realized he was drawing a bath for us.
Landon stripped down before undressing me. As many times as I’ve seen him naked, the beauty of his inked physique never ceased to make my jaw drop. After he led me into the warm water, Landon got in behind me and pulled my body into his. Leaning my head against his chest, I had never been more grateful to have a night off from my dancing gig. I was in no mood tonight.
“I’m scared,” I whispered.
“I know. But I’m hoping that what I’m about to say to you might make you feel better.”
“What is it, Landon?”
He wrapped his arms around me tighter under the water. His low voice was soothing as he spoke against my skin.
“I told you that before I left California, I started seeing a therapist, but I never went into detail about any of the epiphanies I had before moving here. It never seemed like the right moment to bring it all up…until today.”
“I know. I didn’t want to pressure you to talk about it.”
“You know that I spent several years confused and filled with resentment over my birth mother. I don’t think that I ever really saw things from her point of view—until you. I didn’t understand how she could’ve given me away until I saw the same scenario through the eyes of someone I love more than life. You’ve given me a new perspective on the feelings of desperation that my mother must have felt. And seeing your feelings of guilt, I know how sorry you are. I know how much you love Lilith and that your actions as a teenager are not a reflection of your love for her. I realize now that my mother probably loved me very much. You have shown me that. So, thank you.”
He was thanking me?
“She did love you, Landon. I know she did.”
“Everything you do is for Lilith. She has you. She just doesn’t know it. She doesn’t know how lucky she is, but she will someday. My therapist also helped me to see my situation differently when it comes to my parents. I’ve taken them for granted. They loved me more than they could’ve ever loved a child of their own. My mother couldn’t have children, you know. That’s why they turned to adoption.”