He ignored my attempt at self-ridicule, not dignifying it with a response.
I felt his soothing words against my neck. “How long can you stay?”
Answering honestly, I said, “I don’t know.”
He stopped brushing and ran his hand down the length of my hair, stopping just short of my ass. His touch was electrifying.
“Was your job okay with you leaving to come here?”
“I have no clue. I just told them I had a family emergency and left.”
“You’d better call them tomorrow for peace of mind, but just know if for any reason they give you trouble, I’ve got your back. I’ll make sure you can pay your rent.”
“That’s not necessary.”
“You couldn’t even afford the plane ticket to get here. It’s clear you need that job. And if you sacrificed it to come see me, then I’m gonna make damn well sure you’re taken care of.”
Not knowing what else to say, I simply whispered, “Thank you.”
Landon walked over to his dresser. There was a bunch of elastics tied together in a giant ball. He took one off and placed it in his mouth, pulling it between his teeth. That was oddly sexy for some reason.
He came up behind me again and gathered my hair into a low ponytail, fastening the band around it. His hand lingered before he let go. My body craved the return of his touch. Having his hands on me was quickly becoming my favorite thing.
I turned around to face him. Our eyes locked for several seconds. It was a little unnerving how badly I wanted him to touch me again. But he didn’t.
“You take my bed,” he finally said. “Tomorrow we’ll have breakfast on the beach. Then, we can have that talk.”
“You don’t have to work tomorrow?”
“Mel’s taking care of the truck. I’m officially on sick leave for as long as you’re here.”
“Can you do that?”
“I’m the boss. I can do whatever I want.” He headed toward the door. “I’m gonna let you get some sleep. It’s morning already in Michigan.”
“What about you?”
“I’ll be hitting the hay soon, too.”
“Okay. See you in the morning.”
“Goodnight, Rana.” He tapped on the door twice then disappeared.
As I lay in Landon’s bed, swimming in his intoxicating, masculine smell, I realized I was listening to the actual sounds of the ocean. No machine…the real deal.
Lately when I couldn’t sleep back home, I would venture over to my closet and read one of Landon’s old notes. Tonight, I walked over to his window instead. I looked down.
Landon was standing outside, smoking a cigarette. I admired his gorgeous stature and the way his ass molded perfectly into his black cargo pants. This scene wasn’t exactly the way I’d pictured it from afar. In my imagination, the water was a bit closer when in actuality, I could see it in the distance. But this was pretty darn cool.
It hit me: my greatest fantasy—being in California with Landon—had become a reality. It was scary and exciting at the same time, particularly because I had no clue what tomorrow would bring.
SPLIT
A delicious aroma filled the air as I stretched my arms out. It wasn’t a dream after all. I was still really here in California with Landon.
The bright sunlight poured into his bedroom window, and I smiled, once again cognizant of the fact that this was indeed really happening.
Landon didn’t see me standing behind him as he cooked at the stove. A fresh pot of coffee was brewing on the counter. The toaster dinged. Island in the Sun by Weezer was playing on his phone, and he whistled as he multi-tasked.
He was wearing a baseball cap backwards, had no shirt on, and his underwear was peeking through the tops of his jeans. I took a moment to just marvel at the contours of his muscular back. My nipples hardened against his T-shirt that I was still wearing.
I cleared my throat, so he’d know I was there.
He turned around, spatula in hand. “Hey! How’d you sleep?”
“Like a baby once I finally dozed off.”
“Good.” He grabbed a mug and poured me some coffee. “How do you take it?”
Even a simple question like that sent my aroused mind into a tizzy.
“How do you take it?” Why did everything sound seductive all of a sudden?
“Just cream.”
“Milk okay? I’ll buy some cream later now that I know you like it.”
“Milk is great.”
My fingers brushed against his as he handed me the steaming mug. Even that little bit of contact sent chills through me.
“Thank you.”
His eyes lingered on mine before he walked away and returned to the counter. Landon seemed a bit on edge, and I couldn’t figure out why. Insecurity was creeping in, trying to have me convinced that his slightly off behavior had something to do with disappointment in me.
He spoke with his back turned to me. “I’m just gonna wrap these breakfast burritos while they’re warm, and we’ll take them down to the beach.”
There was a slight morning chill in the air as we quietly strolled down toward the water. Landon had poured more coffee into two tumblers, and we carried the foil-wrapped burritos.
We picked a spot and sat down next to each other on the thin, fleece blanket he’d brought. Surrounded by seagulls and eating in silence, we gazed out toward the ocean.
When we finished breakfast, Landon took my leftover foil and threw it in a bag he’d brought for garbage. With no food left to distract us, I turned to him and asked the question that had been bugging me.
“Are you okay?”
He took my hand and looped his fingers through mine. “I’m really good, yeah.”
“You’re being very quiet. I was just wondering what was on your mind.”
“I do have a lot on my mind—namely you. To be honest, I’m finding…I’m not really sure how to act around you.”
“What do you mean?”
He looked out toward the water to gather his thoughts then said, “I’m still adjusting to you being here in the flesh. I think I wasn’t as prepared for it as I thought I’d be. I don’t know how to handle my attraction to you, because I feel like…it might make you uncomfortable. So, I’m trying to hold back from letting it show, and I don’t really know how to do that. Because what I’m feeling…it’s pretty intense. You’re stunning. I want to just stare at you, but I know you have a major hang-up about your looks. To be perfectly honest, I want to do more than just stare at you. But I know if I fuck this up, you’ll run right back to Michigan before I even have a chance to spend any time with you.”
I hated that I’d made him feel like he needed to walk on eggshells around me. The truth was, I’d been petrified to show him what I’d done. But now that I was actually here, that didn’t matter as much anymore.
“I was ashamed to show you what I’d done to my face and body.”
“Why? It’s not like they messed up. You’re fucking perfect.”
“I know. They did a great job. Tiny, pinned-up nose. Perfectly round breasts. Shayla and I always had the same big, green eyes but everything else was different. I basically made it so that I look just like my mother, and I haven’t stopped beating myself up about it. There was nothing wrong with me before, Landon. But I somehow believed there was, that she left because I wasn’t good enough, that I needed to look more like her to be worth something in life. I can’t bear to look at myself sometimes.”
“The money your grandparents gave you…now it makes sense. You used it for the plastic surgery.”
“Yep. They gave me money for school, and I ran away with it as soon as I turned eighteen. Went to see a doctor in Detroit and got my nose and boobs done. Laser hair removal, too. I stayed in a cheap motel for months. What kind of a person takes their grandparents’ money and does that?”
“Someone who’s disillusioned and lost. But you were young. I’m sure they’ve forgiven you now.”
“They have, but I don’t think they should’ve.”
“We’ve all made mistakes, Rana. You have to forgive yourself. You have to accept what you did. You also have to accept that people are going to look at you and find you fucking beautiful, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Own it.”