Her fists yank on my hair, pulling my head away from her neck so hard that I see stars.
“Ow! What the f**k?” I complain as she gives me a dirty look.
“You cannot say shit like that when we’re f**king. You just can’t,” she warns me, letting out a low groan when I shift my hips and grind my pubic bone against her clit.
“What’s wrong with a little dirty talk? I thought you’d like it.”
Ava moves against me, matching me thrust for thrust and now it’s my turn to groan.
“I like dirty talk. I LOVE dirty talk. What you’re doing is not dirty talk. It’s ‘weird as f**k’ talk. Repeat after me: I love f**king you, your pu**y is so tight,” Ava demands.
Well, damn, that was hot. I kind of wish I had a vagina right now.
Slowing down my movements, I start rolling my hips against her and do as she says.
“I love f**king you, your pu**y is so tight,” I tell her in a soft, low voice.
She moans her approval, so I continue.
“Your pu**y is so tight, like trying to get a new My Little Pony out of the packaging. Like those f**king tight twisty ties-”
“Oh, my God, no! JESUS CHRIST” she interrupts.
I move my hand from her ass and slide it in between us, my thumb finding her clit and rubbing slow circles around it.
“Oh, God, oh, my God,” she pants. “Okay, try this one: Your pu**y is so wet and feels so good wrapped around my cock.”
I hold myself inside of her and start moving my thumb faster against her clit.
“Your pu**y is so wet and feels so good wrapped around my cock…like f**king a glass of warm water.”
Ava grabs onto my ear lobe and yanks it as hard as she can, pulling my face towards her. “Stop f**king adlibbing!”
I pull out of her and then slam back inside, my thumb still working her over while she gasps and jerks her hips against me.
“I want to come inside you and then I want to f**k that tight little ass of yours,” Ava mutters.
Pausing my hip thrusts, I stare at her in shock until she opens her eyes.
“When I told you I bought a butt plug, I didn’t really think you’d take that to mean I wanted you to f**k me in the ass. Honestly, I don’t even know how that works,” I admit.
She rolls her eyes, moving her hands to my hips and forcing me to start pounding into her again.
“Hello? I’m giving you dirty talk suggestions. You’re supposed to say that to me,” she complains.
Once again, I completely stop moving.
“Wait, you want me to come inside you AND f**k your ass? You didn’t talk to me for a week when I just put the tip in. I’m so confused right now,” I tell her with a shake of my head.
“You know what? How about we just don’t talk. At all. Just keep doing what you’re doing with your thumb because I’m about two seconds away from coming,” she moans.
Alrighty, that I can do.
Getting back to business, I keep my mouth shut and continue pounding into Ava, moving my thumb over her in tiny circles. Within seconds, she’s screaming my name and I quickly follow right behind her. Who knew having sex in a bar bathroom could be so hot?
After we catch our breath, I pull out of her and dispose of the condom. Ava straightens her clothes and runs a hand through her long hair before we unlock the stall door and make our way back out to the bar.
“So, does this mean we can renegotiate the whole anal thing? Because I’ve been studying up with p**n and I think I know what I did wrong last time,” I tell her as we get to our seats.
“Shut up, Tyler,” Ava replies.
My balls are still intact and we managed to spend a few hours together without killing one another.
I’d say this is progress.
Chapter 13 – Wood Chipper
“Jesus Christ, these women are insipid fools who should just wear signs on their foreheads that say ‘I’m a whore’,” I mutter to myself.
Yes, I’m talking out loud to myself while watching The Bachelor. I can’t help it. Even though these bitches make me want to throw myself off of a bridge, I continue to watch it. Ever since Aunt Jenny spruced up my blog, I’ve started writing little commentaries while I watch the show and I’ve noticed they get a ton of hits. Sure, I’m not talking about fashion on my fashion blog right now, but I’ll do anything just to get people to click on the site.
Pulling up the app on my phone for my blog, I type up a quick post about tonight’s show, letting everyone place bets on how long it will take for the first woman to start crying. The winner will get an open-knit eternity scarf from Urban Outfitters. One of the perks of having a fashion blog that’s growing in popularity – designers will send me samples to try as long as I blog about them.
Social media is a crazy, awesome thing. The more I started posting on my blog, the more people started sharing my posts on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Pretty soon, companies got word of what I was doing and started contacting me about sending out some free stuff. Who was I to turn down free shit, especially clothes, purses and jewelry?
“Um, Ava? Could you come here for a minute?” Tyler shouts from down the hall.
Tyler has been crashing on Charlotte and Gavin’s couch for the last couple of nights. After the night in the bar, I should be mad at him, but I couldn’t bring myself to feel anything other than just a tiny bit happy. I knew he was lying when he said he hadn’t followed me there. Charlotte told me that she let Tyler know I was going to a bar and most likely going to pick up some random dude to wash all of my sorrows away. Even though I don’t do relationships, it was kind of nice to have him get a little jealous and come after me. I’ve never had a guy give a rat’s ass about anything I do, mostly because the feeling is mutual. No guy has ever sparked my interest for longer than one night. Now that we’re both living under the same roof, I’m sure whatever misguided feelings I have for him will be punched right in the face very quickly. There’s no way we’ll make it more than a week without killing each other.