One step forward. A moment when he showed me he was actually a decent human worth saving. Worth loving.
Ten giant steps back.
Chapter Twenty-Four
AVERY
I figured I may as well use the gift card Lucas gave me for dinner that night—it wasn’t like I had any extra money to spare, and I still had a little less than a week before I’d receive my first paycheck.
And my options for three meals a day were slowly turning into cold cereal or oatmeal or whatever was in the funky-smelling box in the back of the fridge.
Just how long could I keep Chinese takeout before eating it would kill me?
I braced myself and stopped in front of Lowell’s. It was a Seattle staple and boasted everything from oysters to steak, salmon, clams . . . Well, you get the point—it had meat and fish, and that’s all that really mattered.
Plus the prices weren’t totally ridiculous, so I could probably stretch the gift card—unless my sister decided to order two bottles of expensive wine and drink away her sorrows.
I pressed my hands down along my short black cocktail dress and checked my red lipstick using the camera on my phone.
Stalling.
I was stalling.
But Kayla was . . . Kayla. I loved her—she was an amazing teacher and an even more amazing sister. Growing up, I’d wanted to be just like her and even tried out for cheerleading because of her. After finding out I lacked the necessary coordination, I played sports instead, favoring headbands and basketball shorts over miniskirts and makeup.
I was the black sheep. The tomboy. Now that I was older I’d ditched the basketball shorts and giant T-shirts. But every time I saw Kayla or Brooke, I felt like that teenager again, the awkward girl with braces and no fashion sense who just wished she was as pretty and smart as they were. Even though I knew I wasn’t stupid, my sisters always had a way of making me feel that way when I was younger.
Kayla had never really done anything wrong, although she used to tease me a lot about my insecurities—often in front of Lucas. I pretended it didn’t bother me when she giggled and asked me if I even knew what lipstick was. But her words stung.
And now I had to face her like I’d somehow won this giant prize and lie about everything. I had to pretend Lucas was the greatest—and the real sucky part? He was. I saw greatness in him still, in the small moments he tried to hide from me. But he covered it with anger—and with cheating and unnecessary meanness that threatened to choke me.
I would be defending him to the one woman who I could never measure up to.
And I had to sell it all like he loved me.
When I never stood a chance. Never would.
Shoot. I still didn’t know what I was going to say.
I chewed my lower lip and quickly dialed Lucas’s number, thankful that he’d actually added it to my contacts.
“Miss me already?” he crooned.
I rolled my eyes and absolutely hated that my lips curved into a happy smile while my heart did that little leap and thud against my chest. “How do I explain us?”
“Huh?”
“I may be having dinner with Kayla.”
Absolute silence. And then he said, “Did you just say you’re having dinner with Kayla?”
“Yes.” I closed my eyes and willed my headache away. “Because your mom has a huge mouth, no offense, and doesn’t understand the concept of secrecy, she mentioned something to my mom, remember? If my voice mails from my irate mother are any indication, it took your mother less than twenty-four hours to try to mend the bond between our families and plan our engagement party. You know, the one we lied about not being able to make because we’re taking that trip to South America to save the children?”
“I don’t recall having this conversation at all.”
“Exactly!” I jabbed my finger in the air. “That’s twice I’ve saved your reputation—you can thank me later. Actually, thank me in the form of giving me an amazing review for my internship. This is above and beyond, Thorn!”
“We’re going to South America?”
“No, not really. You know what? I don’t have time for this. Just tell me what I’ll need to say to turn Kayla’s frown upside down. I’ve always been awkward with her when it comes to relationships, especially with you.”
He sighed. “She’s your sister. Don’t you have like magic sister-speak?”
I paused. “No, idiot, we don’t! We’re not exactly close. Stop asking stupid questions and just tell me what to say!”
He sighed again. “Okay, um.”
“Wow, Lucas, don’t talk so fast—I can’t keep up!”
“Stop being such a smart-ass.” I could practically hear his eyes rolling. “Okay, how about”—he sounded nervous—“how about this . . .”
“I’m waiting.”
“You’re also annoying, and yet here I am, talking to you.”
“Thorn!’
“I’ve always had a thing for you.” His voice was confident, smooth. “I ignored my feelings because I’d never dated anyone but Kayla, and once you and I reconnected at work, things just sort of happened. We fought it for—”
“—a day,” I finished, wishing it were true and hating myself more than I cared to admit for being that weak over a man who said the same nice things to every girl he slept with during a one-week period.
“Right,” he fessed up. “After all, you can’t control these things, or plan for them. Some things just happen.”