“Home?” Adrian says from the driver’s seat.
“Yeah.”
He doesn’t ask what’s up and I don’t offer, mostly because I have no f**king clue. Just let him drive while she cries and I kiss her head like it’s a real f**king thing to do.
By the time we get to my house, her body’s still. I’m pretty sure she fell asleep.
Adrian opens the car door, then lets us in the house. When I get to my room, I lay her down in my bed, take off her shoes and pull up the white sheets and comforter she seemed to be so surprised by last time she was here. Like I thought, she’s out. When I pull away and turn to walk out, she whispers, “Don’t go.”
Those words dart around inside me, cracking parts of my insides. “I don’t belong in here with you.” She’s obviously got shit going on and I have nothing to give. Hell, I don’t even want to give to anyone.
“Please…I…” she doesn’t open her eyes, but nuzzles into my pillow. Streaks of makeup run down her face, the only sign she cried. That was huge for her. So was asking me to stay.
“Fuck.” I close my bedroom door and kick off my shoes before climbing in bed with her. I pull her back to my chest and wrap my arm around her. I’ve held girls like this before. I’m not a saint and there have been plenty of women in my bed, but this is the first time the girl hasn’t been na**d. The first time I’m not just doing my duty after ha**ng s*x with someone.
“Go back to sleep,” I whisper. My voice is almost as shaky as her limbs were.
“Tomorrow…don’t remind me I said this. I won’t want to talk about it, but tonight…keep me safe.”
Her words knock the air out of me like getting slammed in the chest. “You’re safe with me.” Which is probably the biggest f**king lie I’ve ever told.
***
She hasn’t moved for over an hour besides her chest going up and down, her br**sts pressing against her shirt. Trying to go slow so I don’t wake her up, I pull my arm from around her and get out of bed.
And stand there.
Cheyenne doesn’t move, so I figure I’m safe and sneak out of the room. I have to piss and my mouth is dry as hell. After taking care of my business, I head to the kitchen. Adrian’s sitting at the table, his feet up and a pipe in his hand.
“Want some?” he asks.
“Nah.” Pot isn’t really my thing. It’s a means to an end, is all. Instead of going back to my room, I fall into the other mismatched chair at our kitchen table. I don’t know why. I don’t really want to talk and I know Adrian will open his big mouth, but I’m sketchy about going back to Cheyenne too.
“That was pretty f**kin’ intense.” Adrian crosses his arms.
“No shit.”
“What’s wrong with her?”
I pause, trying to think of how to answer. She just found out her mom is dead, which has to be eating her alive, but there’s more to it than that. More than Gregory and all the other stuff. I just don’t know what it is. “Not sure.” I shrug.
“Are you doing her?”
“Fuck off.” Like that’s any of his business.
“That’s what I thought.” Adrian pushes to his feet.
“What does that mean?”
He sighs and sits back down. “I don’t know. You’re different with her. You’re feelin’ her, I can tell, but not the same way it was with Deena and other girls. You wouldn’t have hesitated to answer that question about anyone else. Which is cool. I’m just surprised.”
I shake my head. Adrian’s always like this. He smokes more weed and parties more than anyone I know, but he’s never afraid to put shit out there. He has some sort of sixth sense when it comes to stuff, so I’m not shocked at all by his words. “I don’t really know her, man, to be feelin’ her or not.”
“Doesn’t change the fact that you are.”
True. A guy would have to be blind not to want her. She’s gorgeous with all that shiny dark brown hair and melted caramel skin. She’s got pouty lips and knows how to use them. Yeah, I’d have to be crazy not to want her, but—“Things are screwed up for her. You saw her freak out and I sure as hell can’t give her more than a good time. She’s not the girl for that.”
Adrian laughs. “You asked?”
“You know I didn’t ask her.”
“Then you don’t know. And yeah things are messed up for her and your ass too, even though you never talk about it. Might do you both some good to find a way to forget about that for a while.”
He stands and I don’t plan on saying anything to get him to stay this time. He doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about. She may have shit on her plate, but she’s still a princess and I’m definitely not a prince. Don’t want to be either.
Adrian kicks my chair to get my attention. “Plus, you’ll have a whole hell of a lot of fun in the process.”
I ignore him and we both walk out of the room—him toward the door and me back to my bedroom. Once I’m inside I close the door, pull my shirt over my head and toss it to the floor. Cheyenne’s curled in a little ball, her hair splayed out on my pillow, her dark and it white. Like I said, a guy would have to be blind not to want her and I’m definitely not blind. We both have too much drama for it to be anything more than that.
Ready to pass out, I climb over her and into my bed. She whimpers, her body jerking slightly. On autopilot I pull her close like I did earlier. “Shh, baby. It’s just me.” She doesn’t make another sound, but she grabs my arm. I close my eyes and go to sleep.
~CHAPTER SIXTEEN~
Cheyenne
Last night plays on reverse in my mind. It starts from the feel of Colt’s arm around me, flashes to the car ride, the shed, Gregory, the drinking.
My heart seizes. Oh, God. I made a fool of myself. I was such an idiot! I squeeze my eyes shut as though that will somehow make it go away, but I know it won’t. It happened and there’s no changing it. No changing any of the things that happen to us.
All there is to do is move on.
Starting now.
I am about to try and sneak out of the bed and save Colt and I both dealing with…I don’t even know what. I can’t say the morning after, because nothing happened besides him seeing me the way no one else ever has. The way no one should.
I try to move and his hand squeezes. It’s then I realize where it is. On my breast! Holy crap. How do I get out of this one? I try to move again and this time he stirs.
“Mornin,’” His voice is rough from sleep.
“Hey…I need to get up, but…ummm.”
His hand jerks back. “Fuck. Sorry. Reflex.”
And I know I need to thank him. To say something because what he did was huge and he didn’t have to do it. Most guys wouldn’t. Not after everything that’s gone down between us, but instead of thank you, what comes out is, “Can I use your bathroom?”
“Sure. It’s right across the hall. Are you planning on sneaking away, Cinderella?”
Getting out of the bed, I turn to him. Big mistake. Huge. He is probably the sexiest guy I’ve ever seen. He has his shirt off and there’s that tribal tattoo on his right shoulder and leading all the way down his arm. His muscles are hard, his grin cocky. It makes me hate him a little. “From princess to Cinderella?”
“I’m kidding. Go to the bathroom.” He gets up and follows me. His pants hang low. Not too low and they’re held up by a belt, but that sliver of boxer briefs shows against his belly.
“Are you planning on coming with me?”
“No, but I’d like to brush my teeth. Beer doesn’t taste as good the next day.”
Ugh. He’s right. I stand in the hallway, letting him brush his teeth first, before he walks out.
“I’ll be in bed. Just come back in when you’re done.”
Locking the door behind me, I fall against it. I don’t feel like Cinderella. More like Dorothy in Oz. I have no idea what’s going on here.
When I needed someone it was Colt who helped me.
I don’t like needing help. I don’t know if I like him, but he was there. He’s been there. And even though I don’t like it, there’s something about him that pulls out my secrets. Like he’s a magnet, my past, my secrets and my pain, little shards of metal unable to resist his pull. I don’t understand and I don’t even know if I want to, but it feels good having some of those things siphoned out.
“Stop thinking so much, Chey.” I go to the bathroom, wash my hands and then rinse my mouth with mouthwash on the counter.
Running my fingers through my hair I try and make it not look as though I didn’t sleep like the dead last night.
Which I did. For the first night since I found out about Mom, I really slept.
Bones… In the woods. Gone…
“I’ll help you find your mama.”
I pull open the door, trying to leave those thoughts behind. Colt’s in his bed when I get there, one arm flung over his face and the blanket up to his waist. He opens the eye that isn’t covered, looks at me and then closes it again.
I stand there, not sure what to do. That isn’t like me and I don’t like it, but I don’t even understand the space we’re in right now, so I’m not sure how to navigate it.
“I don’t bite…well, unless you want me to.” Part of his mouth quirks up. “I already told you how much women like my mouth—”
“Stop! I swear you’re so disgusting.” But I still walk over and sit on the edge of the bed. I let a deep breath out, suck another one in. It’s the only sound in the room, but I feel the burn of his eyes on me. “Thanks…I…”
Colt sighs. “Don’t. You don’t have to say thanks.”
“You took care of me.”
“So?”
I turn to him, almost needing to look away again because it’s so much harder this way. “For most of my life I’ve never been able to count on anyone. Even when I could, I hated it. I mean, really depend on someone. Not pretend to or play it off. You saw me at my worst…the part of me I hate and I don’t want anyone else to see, but you were there. That means something to me.”