Ranger licks his lips, then replies with, “You don’t miss someone holding you? Kissing your neck? Someone’s mouth on your pussy? A vibrator can’t replace that connection, that pleasure. The truth is, I haven’t fucked anyone in a while, because I’m sick of meaningless fucking. I did so much of it, and it got old really fast. Without a mental connection, I get bored. So, I’ve been waiting. Waiting for someone worth fucking. The difference between me and you? I know what I’m missing, I’m not in denial about it. I never thought I’d meet a woman who actually held my interest, but I always hoped to. I’m the only single man in the whole MC now, you know that?”
“Really?” I ask, eyes flaring. “All the women must want you, then, if it’s only you who is available.”
“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” he asks, lips turning down. “It didn’t sound like one.”
“As if you don’t know that you’re good-looking,” I say, feeling bold. “Women must throw themselves at you.”
I shouldn’t be feeding his ego, but we’re both being completely honest right now. This conversation isn’t about anything but the truth—like he said, no boundaries. No filters. Just being real. So I’m not going to hide behind anything.
He isn’t.
He ignores my comment and says, “Come here.”
“What?” I ask, tucking my hair back behind my ear.
“Come here,” he repeats, lifting his arm out.
I scoot over on the bed until I’m within reach. He pulls me into him, so my head is on his shoulder and I’m wedged into the crook of his arm.
“Much better,” he says softly, then returns his attention to the TV. While surrounded by his warmth, I realize that what he said is right. Sure, I miss sex, but I miss this more. The contact, the affection and just the feeling of being close to someone. Damn him for being right, because I was doing so well convincing myself otherwise. The worst part is, I think I only crave these things being near him.
I don’t think I’ve changed my opinion on things—I think that he’s changed it. Because I don’t want to cuddle up to anyone, it’s just him—being like this right now, I don’t want to move. It feels perfect. How did this happen exactly? And so quickly? If I don’t want this, I need to back away now, before we’re in too deep. Before I probably end up hurt, or with regrets.
Ranger-size regrets.
I notice him glance down at me, but he doesn’t say anything, he just returns his gaze to the TV screen, where an Adam Sandler movie I’ve never seen before is playing. I bury my face in his black hoodie, taking in his scent, closing my eyes and just enjoying the moment. And that’s how I fall asleep.
ELEVEN
Ranger
I FREEZE when I walk out of the bathroom to find Jo pointing a gun at me.
“Oh fuck, it’s just you,” she says, lowering the weapon and touching her free hand to her chest.
“You spooned me all night and forgot about it?” I ask, feeling offended. She rubs her eyes, still looking half-asleep.
“I forgot where I was for a second,” she murmurs, sliding out of bed. “What time is it? We better get to the station.”
She puts the gun down and starts walking to the bathroom but then stops, and starts to stare at my bare chest, blue eyes widening as they roam up and down my torso and back.
“What?”
“When did you get half-naked?” she asks, eyes now glued on my abs. I absently run my hand down them, and her eyes follow the movement. I don’t think she’s even blinking. I try to hide my smile, amused and pleased that she finds my body so appealing. This is definitely a good thing, and one I plan on using to my advantage.
“In the middle of the night. It was hot with you pressed against me,” I explain, picking up my T-shirt and hoodie from the floor. I leave the hoodie on the bed while I put on my T-shirt, purposely flexing as I lift my arms up. Her eyes widen even further, if possible, and are as big as saucers. “I’m normally cold at night because of the air-conditioning.”
With my arms through the T-shirt, I pull it down over my six-pack slowly for effect.
Jo clears her throat, but she doesn’t look away. When I let go of the material, she raises her eyes to mine. “We fell asleep watching movies. Nothing happened.”
“I know,” I say, taking my hoodie in my hands. “I was there. Who are you trying to convince here? We didn’t do anything wrong.”
“We spooned,” she says, cheeks going pink. “This isn’t what we’re here for, Ranger. We’re here on a mission, and I don’t know how this is happening.”
“Like you said,” I tell her, taking a step toward her and lifting her chin up with my finger. “Nothing happened. Don’t overthink this.”
I graze my thumb across her cheek, and her eyes flutter shut. She likes me touching her, and I like touching her. What’s the issue here? She’s Jo, and I’m Ranger, nothing more and nothing less, like we both agreed before we got on the plane. So what’s the problem? What’s stopping me from sinking inside of her once we’re done with our day, holding her close every night? Does she just see me as her enemy, no matter what she agreed to? Or does she feel guilty, thinking that she shouldn’t be able to enjoy herself until Elizabeth is found?
“Okay,” she whispers, turning her face into my hand. “I won’t. While we’re here, there are no rules, right? Nothing else exists. We aren’t our labels, we’re just us.”