“How come?” she asks, putting the mug on the saucer and tilting her head to the side. “You’re a good-looking man, and women dig the bad boys.”
“Are you stereotyping me?” I ask, lips twitching. “Finding a woman isn’t hard, but finding a good one is. Although it’s not like I’ve been looking. I don’t know if I’d make a good boyfriend, to be honest. I’ve never really had any long-term girlfriends.” I pause and consider that. “Never met one who I wanted to keep.”
“Keep? You make women sound like puppies,” she says, smirking. “Maybe you just haven’t met the right one yet. Or maybe there’s no such thing as the right one, who knows. I think the people who stay together are the ones who make the choice to do so. It doesn’t just happen, and you have to want it more than anything.”
“That’s not very romantic,” I tease, loving listening to her voice her opinions. She’s definitely interesting, different, and smart. Why does she have to be a fuckin’ cop? Maybe that is what makes her so different though. Fuck, I can’t win.
“My life isn’t very romantic,” she admits, ducking her head. “That’s more Elizabeth’s life. She’s always dating, always just loving life, being social. I’m not really like that. I don’t really like going out and meeting new people.”
I can see Elizabeth being like that. When I knew her, she was shy, but she was always smiling, always up for an adventure. I can see her dating a lot, searching for romance and passion. She’s a dreamer, that one. I, on the other hand, am a realist. And although Jo claims to be one, I think she secretly wishes she had that passion too. A woman who hasn’t been treated right can claim they’re fine without passion, but it’s only because they don’t know any better. I imagine a well-loved woman would thrive in the world, and be a reflection of her man’s love and treatment.
But what the fuck do I know?
Actually, I’m probably a fuckin’ pro after living in the Wind Dragons clubhouse and observing all the couples, even Talon. They’re all different, but the love is there—you can see it. I’m the only single one in the house, since Ronan just found a new girlfriend. I really am the odd man out. It doesn’t bother me, exactly, it just makes me feel a little on the outside. Unlike in my old clubhouse, there are some nights where no one is in the clubhouse except me. That’s not really a clubhouse at all. Do I feel lonely? Is that what this is? Fuck, I have no idea.
“You’re an introvert at heart?” I guess. I know the type.
She nods. “I recharge when I’m alone, and being social drains me. At work it’s usually just me and my partner, Travis, and I know him well, so it’s fine. It’s comfortable. With my job I have to be confident at all times, and speak to people on a daily basis, so I can do it. Just that if I had my way, I’d prefer not to socialize.”
The only thing I focus on in that sentence is the name Travis.
Have the two of them ever fucked?
“Just how close are you and your partner?” I ask, unable to help myself.
Instead of getting offended and telling me to mind my own business, like I thought she would, she just laughs. “He’s like family to me. He’s good-looking and everything, but we don’t see each other like that. I get asked to hook him up with women a lot. They rave about his ‘very, very blue eyes.’ Apparently they’re hypnotic.”
“That’s more information than I needed,” I mutter under my breath, making her laugh again. “So you don’t . . . have anyone you’re sleeping with right now?”
I can’t take my eyes off her, especially when she laughs. I don’t think I’ve ever been so attracted to a woman in my entire life.
“No,” she says, ducking her head. “I’m not sleeping with anyone. How about you? Or do I even have to ask?”
“I think you’d be surprised,” I say, gaze lingering on her upturned lips.
“Bikers have a reputation.”
“So do cops,” I add, smirking.
She rolls her eyes. “Don’t act like you don’t throw wild parties and women don’t throw themselves at you.”
I choose to ignore that comment, because it’s true, although not for some time.
“I haven’t slept with anyone in quite a while,” I admit, licking my suddenly dry lips. “No one has really appealed to me.”
“Oh,” she says, eyes widening.
“Yes, oh.” I grin, and then add, “Until now anyway.”
She smiles, then looks down at her hands. “Sometimes I feel guilty for smiling, or for laughing. How can I laugh at all, when fuck knows what Elizabeth is going through right now?”
Her words bring me back to reality, sobering my thoughts. All of this must be tough on her too. But she can’t really admit if she’s struggling, because it would make her seem insensitive in comparison to what her cousin is going through. That doesn’t mean her feelings aren’t valid. She’s a strong woman, and I can see that she’s trying to hold it together. Yes, she’s a cop, but at the end of the day she’s still a person.
“You’re doing everything you can to save her, Jo. And you’re not giving up on her, and you won’t. I won’t either. That’s everything. It’s okay to laugh; in fact, it’s required. It’s hard on you too, and you need to do whatever you have to do to make it through this.”