While she was loading the boxes with essentials, Kaylee became profoundly aware that all her life, even in the leanest of times, she had always had what she needed. Her mother, a single mom, had managed not only to feed and house Kaylee, but there were also lots of those special things. A new outfit for a party, a day at Disneyland every now and then, a prom dress, a wedding. They’d never received a box of food over the holidays because they were in need.
And she made a silent pledge to remember that Howard had contributed to her well-being and education, which had been costly. She might have a grudge because he left, but he had been there with the checkbook when it counted.
Of course, the women were all talking and laughing. She got Vanessa’s recipe for lemon bars and fudge; Ellie started them singing Christmas carols and oddly enough, Kaylee survived a little Christmas spirit. The men were joking around, making the women laugh or scold them. And the thing that Kaylee noticed most was the affection that passed between these couples. Even the preacher leaned close to Ellie to give her a little squeeze and kiss on the cheek. Every couple, it seemed, took a moment for a touch or a hug or a whisper. As if they were all still madly in love.
Kaylee realized that’s what she wanted. Not just a boyfriend or lover. She wanted a future. Permanence. Something that lasted and endured. She wondered if that was even possible.
Preacher put out a buffet of sandwiches and salads and the women took breaks to eat and chat. Kaylee heard about the kids, how they were doing in school, what they wanted for Christmas, how the local football teams had done this year. A couple of women were knitting and talking while others were eating. A great stack of big boxes was lined up in the middle of the floor, ready to go.
After lunch, some of the men began carrying them out.
“Kaylee, would you like to come with me?” Mel asked.
“That would be great, since I don’t really know my way around these mountains yet,” she said.
“I’m going to deliver five, as long as I can get them all out before dark. And I’ll do it again tomorrow.”
They bundled up against the cold and once they were in Mel’s SUV, Kaylee asked who paid for the food baskets. “We take donations. We’ve been passing the hat since spring. Whenever we have a town party, Jack puts out a jar just for holiday food baskets and it’s amazing how well we do.”
“Can I make a donation?” Kaylee asked.
“We will never turn down money!”
They drove out of town to a tiny isolated house in the mountains. The road to the house was not well kept or smooth and inside the little house they found an old man wearing long johns on the outside of his jeans. “Well, aren’t you looking good, Cyrus,” Mel said.
“You’re looking mighty good, too, miss.”
“And how have you been feeling?”
“Just fine, ma’am, thank you.”
“I’m going to put this right on your table and you can go through it. Is there anything you need? You need a doctor or a pastor?”
“No, ma’am.” He laughed. “I don’t wanna see both of ’em at once, that’s for sure. That usually means bad news.”
“How’s your firewood holding out?”
“Plenty good.”
Those same questions were asked everywhere they went. There was a young woman with three small children in a small house out on the ridge, no man in sight. There was an elderly couple in the lower valley in a little weather-worn house with a barn behind it. There was a family with four children near Highway 36. And their last delivery was to a mother and daughter—the mother was in her eighties and the daughter in her sixties and they occupied a very small, very old house that was scrubbed clean as a whistle even though the wallpaper was peeling and the linoleum was cracked.
Kaylee felt good down to her toes to be doing some good for others and said so to Mel once they were finished their deliveries.
“It usually gets everyone stirred up and ready for the holidays. Have you decided what you are doing about Thanksgiving dinner yet?” Mel asked. “We have room at the table in the bar if you’re interested.”
“I’ll be cooking and eating with Landry,” she said. “The two of us are alone out there and he’s going to drive over to Eureka and poke around the seafood market.”
“Fantastic,” Mel said. “And what about Christmas? You’ll still be around here then, won’t you?”
“Yes, I’ll be leaving after Christmas.”
“And do you have plans for Christmas? Do you know about our tree?”
“No, I don’t believe I do.”
“We put up a huge tree in the center of town and decorate it with military unit patches that we’ve been collecting for years. Some of the guys chop it down, put it up—it usually falls down at least once in the process and they do a better job of putting it up after that. Jack rents a cherry picker so he can string tinsel and hang lights and ornaments, and half the town turns out to watch because there’s a lot of swearing and a lot of laughing. But it is always a magnificent tree. We have to borrow a flatbed truck from Paul Haggerty to bring it out of the forest.” Mel grinned. “You should put bows around the necks of those puppies and display them around the tree at Christmas.”
“Will they be ready?” Kaylee asked. “They have to be eight weeks and get their first shots, right?”
“Something like that. So, will you be having Christmas dinner with Landry? We would love to have you both if you don’t have other plans.”
Kaylee sighed. “I haven’t made any commitments for Christmas day. To be honest, I’m not looking forward to it. I’ll probably lie low. Maybe read a good book. Or take a couple of long walks. I knew for sure I didn’t want to be in my mother’s house on that day.”
“Is this because of your mother’s passing?” Mel asked.
“Yes, I’m afraid so. I’m doing much better with that, however. I think it’s because of my new experiences and new friends in Virgin River.”
“I hate to think of you alone on Christmas Day. Wouldn’t it take your mind off things to be with friends?”
“It’s complicated,” she said. “My mom was very sick. We had Hospice care the last weeks of her life. And she died on Christmas Day.” She was quiet a moment. “I just don’t know how I can manage Christmas. I don’t know how I can face it.”
“Oh, Kaylee, how difficult that must be. Think about what I can do to help,” Mel said. “Anything that would make you happy or even just take your mind off the sadness of the experience. Maybe it would be a good day to celebrate her life. I bet she didn’t die in sadness.”
“She definitely did not,” Kaylee said. “She was never afraid and never angry and God knows she had enough morphine in her to make the passage smooth. But that was the day I lost my best friend and I’ll never get her back.”
Mel was quiet for a moment. When she pulled into the bar parking lot next to Jack’s truck, she asked, “Have you had some counseling, Kaylee?”
“Yes, right after she died, for several months. I’m not sure it helped.”
“But this will take time. Of course it will take time. I’m not a religious person but I bet your mother is not very far away. I bet she’s your guardian angel. I bet she helps put the right people all around you so that you can feel her love even from a distance.”
Kaylee smiled. “Sure,” she said.
Mel patted her hand. “I’m never sure of the right thing to say. But knowing you a little bit now, I believe you’ll get through this difficult year and find joy again.”
“That might take a miracle,” Kaylee said.
“Miracles happen around here all the time. It will come, I’m sure of it. As your world gets bigger than your grief. Anything I can do to help, just say the word.”
“Thank you, Mel.”
“Don’t thank me yet,” she said. “Will you help us again tomorrow?”
“Absolutely! It was a very good day.”
* * *
Landry did ask Jack if his help was needed in the filling and transporting of holiday food boxes, but Jack said, “We’re good. If you come around, you get cookies, but we’re covered.”
So instead, Landry made an appointment to speak with Brie.
“I’ve been thinking. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can move forward on this divorce with the least difficulty?”
“Have you talked to Laura? Do you have any inside knowledge as to why she’d hire a lawyer and ramp up her settlement demands?”
“I did talk to her. She said she wanted another chance with our marriage, but that’s out of the question. Especially now that she’s trying to hold me hostage.”
“Well, the fastest and least cumbersome way is to offer her half the value of your property. I don’t think that’s the smartest way, but it is probably the quickest.”
“That wouldn’t leave me in a very safe place,” he said. “I owe money on the house and land. I took out a mortgage so I could ‘loan’ her money.”
“Do you have records of those transactions?”
He reached for the papers in the inside pocket of his jacket and passed them to Brie. “Here’s what I have. I never asked Laura to sign a loan document, but here are copies of checks I made out to her and I did write ‘loan’ in the notes section. I’m emotionally tied to the property. I grew up there. It was all my father had when he died. He had a pension from the communications company he worked for, which is a fancy name for a phone and cable company. My dad was a hardworking cable man. I can pull together some money, if it would help. I can get a loan using my property as collateral.”
“Help what, Landry? Get the divorce settled?”
“Yes, before I hate her. I should have done it years ago, when I realized she’d chosen something else over our marriage. I should have done it when my net worth was a bunch of pots and a kiln. I should have done it before my father passed away. I thought she was as unmotivated as I was but I think I was naive. She asked me for money quite often. She said she wouldn’t contest or argue against a divorce, but here she is asking for money.”