“I’m not even going to respond to that,” he said. “It’s not relevant. I made a life for myself. I’ve lived alone for ten years, I built myself a house and a business and you took off to pursue your dream. I helped you. I gave you money when you were behind on rent or whatever. A couple of times I took out loans for money that you were never going to repay. If you think I’m going to buy my way out of a nonmarriage, you’re crazy. I won’t give up easily and I won’t pay you off. Damn you! I would have helped you, but you had to get a lawyer to fight me!”
“You said you’d always care about me.”
“I’m not likely to care about a person who uses me. Taking what little I have, Laura? That’s not generating a lot of goodwill. Think about it.”
He disconnected and sat in his shop, seething. Eventually he got out his clay and began to sculpt. By midafternoon he was feeling better and he had the beginning of a small statue of an old man, then wondered what the significance of that was. He carved and shaped the old man’s head with his loop and ribbon tools, wet it down with sponges, bent his stooped frame and added detail to the old man’s shapeless sweater with modeling tools.
He heard his front door open and realized he’d pretty much used up almost a whole day. The sun was sinking. Kaylee came into the shop and he smiled at the sight of her. She was tired. And beautiful. He lifted his arm to her and she came to him, standing beside him.
“Wow, Landry, look what you’ve done. That’s unbelievable. Someone you know?”
“Me, I think. In about forty years.” Or four years, depending on the stress level in his life, he thought.
“It’s magnificent,” she said. “Oh, what I’d give for your talent.”
“You don’t need my talent. You have your own.”
10
IN HER SUSPENSE NOVEL, the model-detective was being held captive by her photographer’s jealous brother and no one knew where she was or that she was missing—a very stressful scene. In the other book, Caroline and Landon were madly in love and couldn’t keep their hands off each other, kind of like another couple Kaylee knew intimately, but Caroline and Landon were having a little trouble in one department—they didn’t know where they were going as a couple. Or if.
Kaylee was getting her contracted book closer to the end but she was addicted to her love story. Both her own and her fiction.
There was a knock at her door and she wondered what time it was. She hardly ever wore a watch; looking at her computer she saw it was only three. It was not likely to be Landry. He respected her work time and space to a fault. He waited for her to come to him.
She opened the door and there stood her father. “Howie, what are you doing here?”
He winced. “I wanted to see you,” he said.
“I’m on a deadline here!”
“I know that. I also know you’d say that even if you weren’t. Look, this is my problem and not yours, but you’ve been putting me off for months. I know we both miss your mother terribly. I thought maybe we could lean on each other a little bit. I’ll do whatever it takes to make amends, Kaylee. We’re family.”
She turned from the door and walked into her house. She picked up Tux and held him close. “You have more family than you know what to do with.”
“I have two ex-wives, both have remarried, but I’m working on mending things with my kids as best I can. It’s not the same with them, though. They didn’t lose their mother, for one thing. They don’t really need me and I don’t blame them, but I’m trying. I see them, at least.”
“You should,” she said. “But Howie, I don’t say this to be cruel, but I don’t really need you, either. Not that you’re such a bad guy, it’s just that you were never there for me before. I got over the fantasy of having a daddy a long time ago.”
Howard had three other children. Two with his second wife—they were now in their twenties and one was engaged to be married. There was a third child, also a daughter, with his third wife. She was in college. Kaylee didn’t keep up with them and they hadn’t made any efforts to have a relationship with her.
“You’ve made that pretty clear. I’m going to keep trying. With you and with them. I’ve wasted enough time.”
She sat down on her couch. “Do you have a terminal disease or something?” she asked.
“What a thing to say!” he said.
“Not to be mean, but it’s like you never worried about your relationship with me until my mom was literally dying. What’s the deal?”
“Kaylee! I care about you very much. I wasn’t such a good dad after your mother and I divorced, but I still cared. And I came around when I could.” He stepped farther into the room. “May I sit?”
“You should have called,” she said. “How did you find me?”
“I called the Templetons,” he said. And he sat. “Bonnie told me where you were staying, though she didn’t have an address. I had your landlord’s name. The guy at the bar in town gave me directions.”
“Well, that’s good for security,” she muttered.
“I hope you’re not unsafe. Do you feel safe here?” he asked.
“Of course, or I would be somewhere else.”
It was obvious why Howard had had so many wives and girlfriends and girlfriends who became wives. He was a good-looking man. He had a full head of silver-and-black hair, was sixty-five, very fit, and about six-foot-two. He was tan from hours on the golf course. He was still working as an account executive for what was once a phone company and was now a “communications corporation” that produced everything from wireless services to cell phones.
“I know the holidays are especially hard for you,” he said. “They are for me, too.”
“Why so?” she asked. “You and my mom haven’t had a holiday together for thirty years.”
“There was the last one,” he said. “We weren’t exactly together, but I was there almost every day at the end.”
She almost said too little too late, but stopped herself. “Just out of curiosity, why were you there so much at the end?”
“Kaylee, I loved your mother,” he said. “She forgave me for hurting her. And I couldn’t let you go through that alone. I was worried about you.”
“You loved her?” she said, but her lip curled.
“And she loved me in her own way. We mended our fences the best we could. I hurt her very badly and my apology came far too late but believe me, it didn’t take all that long for me to realize that giving her up was the biggest mistake I ever made. I just didn’t come to that realization in time to make a difference. But despite that, after some years and the fact that I hadn’t done anything to improve my life by marrying and divorcing, we had formed a nice friendship. Talking to your mom... Even though we’d never again be a couple, I loved talking to your mom. She was brilliant and funny and probably the strongest woman I’ve ever known.”
“Which begs the question...why?”
“Why other women?” he asked. “Your mother said I had a weak ego. I suspect she was right. I never tired of having beautiful women tell me how fantastic I was, even when I knew it was a lie and I’d regret it.”
“Yeah, she said you had half a brain,” Kaylee said.
“I’m not entirely stupid,” he said, straightening his spine. “Not entirely.”
She smirked and just shook her head. He was pitiful. He lost the most wonderful woman in the world because he liked being flattered by pretty women. He was quite successful in business, at least in his forties and fifties, but he was clearly an idiot who thought with his little man.
“Your mother, on the other hand, was incredible. The way she started that business from practically nothing and made it into one of the best furniture companies in the area. You must be so proud of her.”
“I didn’t pay that much attention to it at the time, to be honest. It was patio furniture. And it ate up so much of her time. I didn’t realize until right before she got sick how much she’d achieved, and against all odds. Once I understood, I did tell her how much I admired her. But I admired her for so many things. She was a good person. She had great compassion. She was always kind. She cared about people in a genuine way. She forgave you!”
“How are you going to spend the holidays, Kaylee?” he asked. She noticed that he was a little misty-eyed.
“I’m going to write, lie low, let it pass. I really need to get through Christmas, and then maybe in a year or two I can endure it again. Last Christmas was the worst day of my life.”
“What about Thanksgiving? Have you made any plans?”
“Sort of,” she said. “My landlord and I have become good friends and he’s alone, too. We talked about maybe getting some fresh seafood in Eureka and having the meal together. Also, knowing I’m alone, the cook at the bar in town said I’m welcome to join them. I guess they cook for their families at the bar and keep space open for anyone who wanders by. He says no one goes hungry in Virgin River on Thanksgiving and he prepares a feast. I am going to help the local midwife with her charity baskets—just a couple of afternoons of stuffing them full of food and helping to deliver them before Thanksgiving.”
Then she got a little melancholy. “Last Thanksgiving is a holiday I never want to forget. It was the best ever.”
“I don’t remember anything about it,” he said.
“You weren’t there,” she said with a laugh. “Mom had given up on the chemo, had some pain meds, was feeling pretty good, and we had a girl party. Mom was too weak to put the meal together, but she felt good enough to eat and enjoy the day. She even had a little champagne. It was Janette, Michelle, Korby, Maggie and Terri. We had a blast. We had a pajama party. Lots of food, everyone but Mom had lots of drinks. We played cards, ate desserts, watched movies.” She was quiet for a moment. “We talked about all the best old times. Memory gathering.”