When we arrived back at the dorms he came around the car to open the door for me. We walked toward my building, neither of us saying a word when Caleb suddenly stopped.
“Will you dance with me?” he said holding out his hand. My first instinct was to look around to see who was watching us.
“No, don’t do that,” he said, “just for once, don’t care.”
I took an unsteady step toward him. Could I do that?
His hand was warm and it swallowed mine. He put the other one on my lower back and pulled me close to him. I could hear voices. There were people around and they were going to see us. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.
“Be brave,” he said smiling at me. “Open your eyes.”
I did. His feet started moving and I automatically followed him. He was a smooth dancer.
“There’s no music,” I was trying to see who was watching us out of the corner of my eye.
He started humming. I closed my eyes again but this time out of pleasure. His voice was decadent.
He was humming Yellow.
“This is where we first met,” he said nuzzling my neck. “It’s where the trouble all started.”
He was teasing but to me his words held so true.
“Why did you do that?” I asked with my eyes still closed. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
“Because I love you. She’ll come to her senses, I know her.”
“You’re a good guy, Caleb Drake.”
“A man is only as good as what he loves most, right?” I flinched. Hopefully, that wasn’t true. I was about as rotten as a month old egg.
“Your mom is so beautiful,” I said into his shoulder.
He laughed and grabbed a handful of my hair, pulling my head back until I was looking him in the eyes.
“You are going to destroy me, you know that?’
I knew.
After he kissed me goodnight, I wandered back to my room and collapsed into Cammie’s beanbag chair.
It was all too good to be true. Nothing good ever lasted. Our time was running out. I could feel it. There was only so long before he discovered who I really was and wanted nothing to do with me. He was light and I was darkness.
“Olivia, what’s wrong?” Cammie asked, emerging from the bathroom in a cloud of steam.
“I’m going to lose him Cam,” I said hiding my face in my hands.
“No, no,” she said quickly coming to kneel besides me, “he loves you too much. Everyone can see that.”
“Oh—screw love,” I said, more to myself than her. “It doesn’t always survive the bad things.”
“What bad things, Oy, you’re being dramatic,” she pulled up another beanie and sat down in front of me. “What have you done?”
“Cammie,” I said looking at her in horror. “Really, really bad things. And the worst part is—I don’t know if I’ll ever stop.”
Cammie looked at me with sympathy. “You are not as bad as you think. Whatever you’ve done, Caleb will still love you. You have to let him love you Olivia and more importantly you have to love him back.”
Six months later, I moved out of the dorms and into my own apartment. I had one semester of school left and I was eager to see it over. Caleb and I had gingerly started talking about getting an apartment together when I graduated. He had spent the last six months working for his stepfather and I was seeing him less and less.
We decided to take a short trip together. Somewhere close where we could lie in the sun and do nothing but nothing. We settled on Daytona Beach and made plans for him to pick me up after he was done with work. I was packed and ready after my last class. My overnight bag was at my feet and my hands clasped nervously in my lap. I wanted this weekend to be perfect. I had made my first visit to Victoria’s Secret and picked out something I thought he would like. Tonight was the night. We had been together for a year and a half. Cammie had wailed in excitement when I told her.
“Finally, you stupid cow,” she said handing me a supersized box of condoms. “Do you know how everything works? Because I can walk you through the basics.”
“If I wanted advice from a slut, I’d call a nine hundred number,” I said, snatching the box from her. She’d laughed and doled it out anyway.
Caleb’s knock never came. I tried calling his cell, which went straight to voice mail. Caleb was never late; he arrived everywhere he went at least ten minutes early. I tried to curb the thoughts of him being in an accident; however, eventually my worry got the best of me. I called the hospital but they informed me that no one by my description had been admitted that night. I thought about calling his parents, but considering how my last meeting with them went, I couldn’t get myself to dial the number. I re-cradled the phone and bit my nails instead. There was only one other option. He was still at work and had lost track of time. That had been happening a lot lately anyway, his job was so demanding he sometimes forgot the time we were supposed to meet somewhere or that it was our year and a half anniversary and we were supposed to buy each other garden gnomes in celebration. I wasn’t mad. I was okay with it. I would just drop by the office to remind him. Yes. I grabbed the keys and sprinted down the stairs.
The office building that housed Fossy Financial was located in the sugar district of Ft. Lauderdale, two blocks past the Bonjour Bakery where Sylvester Stallone bought his croissants at seven bucks a pop.
The building that housed Fossy was also home to numerous other services that only the wealthy could afford, so naturally there was a guard. He peered at me through swollen eyes that suggested too much liquor the night before and issued a grunt.