Machlan
“There you are. It’s about time you showed up.” Nana waves a spoon in my direction. “I was just saying if you didn’t get here in a few minutes, I was sending Lance after you.”
“Lance? Come on, Nana. At least send Walker. Make it worth my while.”
“Hey, fuc—dge you,” Lance says as he scoops up part of my favorite cheeseball on a cracker. “I caught myself, Nana. I don’t want to hear it.”
“You boys.” Turning to me again, she starts to speak but stops when she sees Hadley beside me. She looks at Hadley, then at me, before stalking toward her like a madwoman. “Oh, Hadley. It’s so good to see you, sweetheart. Come give me a hug.”
Hadley envelops my little grandmother in her arms. She holds her tight, much the same way I do. Much the same way I hug both of them.
I’m pretty sure Hadley stops and sees Nana when she visits town, making sure to avoid me most of the time. They’ve been close since I brought Hadley here for one of Nana’s famous tonics when she was sick in high school. Nana can do no wrong in Had’s eyes. Hadley is Nana’s favorite, besides Walker. Me? I’m just happy to see the two of them in the same room as me.
My cheeks ache as I grin, watching them chat about Nana’s fried chicken. I don’t dare look at Lance. He’ll laugh at me, for sure, but there’s nothing I can do. Seeing these two together makes me a pussy.
“Don’t start,” I say to my eldest brother. “And give me the cheeseball.”
“I’ll share, but you can’t have it.”
“There’s another in the fridge, you two,” Nana says, releasing Hadley. “But don’t get it out until Peck gets here.”
“Forget Peck.” Lance points at himself proudly. “Did you hear that? I didn’t even almost say fuck. I’m learning. All those years of riding my ass worked.”
“Until you just said ass,” I point out before a load of cheeseball goes in my mouth. “Where’s the golden boy?”
“Who?” Nana asks.
“You know. Walker. The favorite,” I say.
“I don’t have favorites, Machlan.”
“Yes, you do,” Lance says. “You’ve always liked Walker most. But that’s okay. Parents always like the dumbest child most. It’s why everyone likes Peck.”
Hadley comes up to my side. Her fingers drag across the small of my back. She doesn’t look at me or acknowledge that she did it, nor does it feel like a sexual invitation. It’s more intimate, like she’s acknowledging I’m here, and she’s here, and we’re here together. And I’m not sure what to do with that.
“Actually,” Hadley says, “everyone likes Peck because he’s nice. Hi, Lance.”
“Everyone likes Peck because they feel sorry for him. Hi, Had.”
They exchange a smile.
“Where is he?” I ask.
Lance rolls his eyes. “That’s why she was going to send me to get you. Walker is with Sienna, taking her family back to the airport.”
“Aren’t they loaded?” I ask. “Why wouldn’t they just rent a car?”
“They did, but Sienna, Camilla, and Mariah went shopping yesterday, and I guess it was a tight fit with the bags or something.” Lance looks up at Hadley. “Mariah’s home sick today. I know she’s been looking forward to meeting you.”
Hadley looks at me through her thick lashes. “I didn’t know she’d know who I was.” When she realizes she’s not talking to Lance, she blushes and turns to him. “I hope to meet the woman who tamed the beast someday.”
“Don’t get it twisted,” Lance says. “I’m not tame.”
“You’re a pussy cat.” I laugh.
“I heard pussy.” Peck’s voice rings through the room as he steps through the open sliding door. “That means Lance is here.”
“Fuck off,” Lance says.
Nana swats him with a spoon as she moves behind him. He yelps, caressing his butt cheeks, and grimaces.
“You boys get to the table. We’re ahead of schedule today,” Nana says. “Peck, grab the tea.”
“Can I help you with anything?” Hadley asks right before I give in and pull her to me.
My grandmother pulls my girl into a quick hug again. “It’s so nice having you here, sweet girl.” She looks at me over Hadley’s head. “I’m guessing you’re why he missed church—”
“Don’t blame her,” I say. “I overslept.”
Nana releases Hadley and grabs my chin as she walks by. “I’m not blaming anyone. It’s nice to see you have a girlfriend.”
Hadley’s gaze finds mine as Nana floats that word out there as though it’s a given. She smiles nervously before turning and sorting through the silverware drawer.
I want to say something, but I don’t know what. All I can think is how I don’t hate the idea, and I don’t hate that she’ll be sitting next to me at the table today.
“And yet, no one thinks Machlan might be gay.” Lance stands in the doorway, his arms stretched in front of him. “Anyone want to explain that?”
I grab a last bite of cheeseball before heading to the dining room. “Well, I’ve never had a pocket protector, geek.”
“I had one in sixth grade. You can’t possibly even remember that.”
“There are pictures,” Peck says. “We’ve all seen them.”
“I didn’t think you were gay either,” Nana says, handing Hadley a handful of large spoons. “I just said if you were, I’d still love you.”
Lance continues his whining as we make our way to the table. I pull out Nana’s chair after she sticks a spoon in every dish. Once she’s settled, I take a seat next to Hadley. Peck says grace, and we dig in.
Usually, I fight for the chicken legs. They’re the crispiest pieces and my favorite, but I look at Hadley for a second too long, and Peck and Lance take them to spite me. So when Peck reaches for the gravy, I take one off his place.
“You can’t do that,” Hadley whispers with a laugh.
“I just did. Here. Want some green beans?”
“Yes. Thanks.” She shakes her head. “This all looks great, Nana.”
“Thank you.”
Something about Nana’s voice makes me look up. Her face is beet red, a line of sweat dotting her forehead. She’s as pale as a ghost.
“Hey.” My chair scoots against the floor. “Nana? You okay?” The sound of silverware clattering to the table pierces the room. I kneel next to Nana’s chair. “You feeling all right?”
“I’m just tired,” she says softly. She takes my hands in her clammy palms and pats them. “You’re a good boy.”
“Do you want to lie down?” Peck asks. “We’ll help you to bed.”
“No. I’m fine. I just needed a second to rest.”
Her eyes struggle to open. Under the cake-y makeup she wears every Sunday, I can see the tiredness etched in her features. I know she’s old; I’ve purposely thought of that in case something happens to her, so I won’t be shocked. But I think I’ll be shocked anyway.
Hadley’s hand finds my shoulder as I squeeze Nana’s in mine. “Did you take your medicine today?” she asks Nana.
“Yes. I took them all before church. I’ll be fine, kids. Just give me a minute to get my bearings.”
My heart sinks. “I’m calling Doc Burns.”
“Don’t you call him on a Sunday,” she protests. “I’ll call in the morning and get an appointment.”
“I’ll be doing that,” I say.
She squeezes my hands this time. “I will do it, Machlan.” She looks up at Hadley with a sweet look in her eye. “You have things to do. You don’t need to be babying me.”
“Apparently, I do because you were supposed to make an appointment the other day, and I’m guessing you didn’t.”
“I got busy.”
“That packed schedule of yours must be impossible to rearrange,” I say, getting to my feet. “So I’ll be calling him this time. And I’ll come and get you and take you.”
She tries to glare at me but fails. “You just want to hear what he says.”
“You’re damn right I do.”
Hadley’s hand falls from my shoulder, slipping down my back. Her presence doesn’t do anything to fix Nana, but it does soothe something deep inside me.
I’m afraid to feel that for long. So, I focus on my grandmother instead.
The room grows quiet. The color slowly comes back to her face, and her palms return to normal. Kissing the top of her head, I return to my chair.
Hadley sits too, watching me with a worried expression. When her hand hits my thigh, I don’t think about it. My hand goes to hers and laces our fingers together. She stills next to me before working her fingers deeper into mine.
My heartbeat settles, and I get comfortable in my seat. Hadley gives me a gentle squeeze, bumping her shoulder with mine.
“This might not be the right time for this,” Peck says, “but Machlan stole my chicken leg.”
The table erupts in laughter—everyone but me.
“You know they’re my favorite,” I point out.
“Yeah, well, if you weren’t making goo-goo eyes at Hadley, then you could’ve gotten it yourself.”
“I did get it myself.” I lift the leg and take a big bite of it. “Damn, that’s good.”
“Don’t taunt him, Machlan,” Nana says. She fans her face with her hand. “I think I’m getting too old to fry chicken. I’m pooped.”
“Then who will cook for us?” Lance whines.
“Um, you have a girlfriend,” I point out.
“Yeah because Nana won’t let us elope.” Lance takes a bite of mashed potatoes. “I really wish you’d reconsider.”