She told him about having the baby, a stillborn boy.
“A son,” he said wistfully.
Then she told him about the years that followed and how she’d completely lost interest in her education until recently.
She heard a melodramatic story from him about being brokenhearted by her anger and pronouncement that she’d been a fool to ever trust him. “I wanted to look for you—you wouldn’t have been very hard to find. I really just wanted to be sure you were all right. But then I thought about it and told myself you were better off without the complication of me in your life. My wife wasn’t going to let me go easily. It was going to be a long, drawn-out ordeal. I told myself to just stick to my part of the agreement that I’d get a divorce and when that was done, I’d look for you. It was not an easy time, baby on the way, my wife wanting our marriage and yet so angry with me that she could barely look at me across the table. She threatened to complain to the department head that I’d fraternized with a student, but I guess alimony was more important to her than revenge.
“When the divorce was finally done, I was stripped bare of worldly goods and emotion. It was a very dark time.”
He thought about searching for her, but then realized that after all the pain he’d caused, it was a selfish thing to do. He made the decision to let go of the past and hope she’d found happiness.
“But now we’ve found each other,” he said. “It has to be fate. God has given us a fresh start.”
“God?” she said. “I doubt God had anything to do with us bumping into each other. But I am glad we cleared the air.”
“We’ll see each other again, won’t we?” he asked.
“Something tells me that would be a mistake.”
“Why? We had something wonderful!” he said. “I thought about you for years! Our passion! Our love was like poetry.”
She might’ve laughed except he was so damned beautiful. And there had been a time her love for him was so overwhelming, she could barely breathe.
“The campus rumor is that you’ve had many passionate loves.”
“Not true. After my divorce, I dated a few women but none were serious. And the campus is a fungus of gossip. It grows like weeds, and only a tenth of it is actually true.”
After two hours of talking, Adele said she had to get home. The place was filling up with college kids and others. Hadley wanted to know when they could meet again.
“I’d like to think about all the things we talked about. I’m not sure we’re a good idea.” He would never know how hard it had been for her to say that.
“Give me your number,” he said. “I’ll call you.”
“No,” she said. “Just give me yours. If I think it’s a good idea, I’ll call you. But really, as much as I once loved you, our history is not great.”
So he had relented and given her his number. On the sidewalk outside Mac’s, he put his hands on her cheeks and boldly kissed her mouth. Memories of hot, steamy kisses filled her and she nearly swooned.
But she pulled away and went to her car. She thought about Ross and her bad husband and passel of kids. She thought of Felicity and her lost husband and child. She thought about the many clients who came into the office, their options few and their hope dwindling.
Then she thought about falling for this handsome, poetic guy and having the whole scenario repeat itself, and she took a deep breath. No way.
But she cried all the way back to Half Moon Bay. Because back then, before it all fell apart, she had been so in love.
* * *
Livvie and Jared quickly became an item at the Half Moon Bay beach, spending most evenings holding hands and having deep talks. Jared’s parents had divorced a few years ago, and he empathized with Livvie’s feelings. Amber made friends as well, but there wasn’t one special boy. Rather, everyone liked her and she became popular at both Half Moon Bay and maintained her popularity at her high school in San Jose. Because of that, she was happy commuting from her aunt Addie’s house. It seemed that after the trauma between their parents early in the year the sisters were finding solace in their family life later in the year. Addie jokingly, or not so jokingly, referred to their house as The Dormitory.
The girls saw their father regularly but briefly. He frequently walked from the kayak shack to the beach where he’d run into either Livvie or Amber. The first time he brought Cat along, Livvie just walked away. Amber followed.
“So rude,” the mistress said, which made Livvie and Amber seethe.
Later, when they ran into Scott and he was alone, he said, “You’re just trying to drive me further away.”
Livvie wasn’t having it. Amber held her tongue, but Livvie said, “Hey, you’re the one who left! What you did was not okay.”
“So now you don’t have any affection for your father? No respect for me and the choices I had to make?”
She straightened her spine and said, “I love you, Daddy. I will always love you. I miss the old days when we spent a lot of time together. I miss the dad who loved and cared for me. And I’m sad that you thought it would be better for you to be with someone else. That’s your choice, I guess. You should have said, ‘No, I’m a married man and I have a promise to my wife and kids.’”
He shook his head sadly. “Maybe someday you’ll understand.”
“Someday maybe you will,” she said.
Livvie was proud of the fact that she could do as her counselor suggested and express her honest feelings, but it always left her in a funk, made her depressed and sad. There was a part of her that wanted to make uncomfortable compromises just to have her father back in her life.
She talked with her mother about that a lot. She wanted to know if Justine missed him, too.
“I miss the man I loved,” Justine said. “The man who could lie to me so easily—I don’t really know that man. Whoever he is, I couldn’t share a home with him. He’s just too selfish.”
“Daddy wasn’t selfish before,” Livvie said.
“I didn’t think so, either,” Justine said.
“Do you think you’ll ever get back together?” Livvie asked.
“That would be very hard,” she said. “I would never say never, but it would be very hard. He’s just not the man I loved anymore.”
“What happened to him?” Livvie asked.
“I don’t know, sweetie. I hope it’s worth it to him.”
It was Saturday, the second week in October when Livvie was going to meet Jared at the beach and saw Cat’s red BMW SUV driving away from the kayak shack. She had a sudden urge to see her dad, to say hello to him, manage a civil conversation not about the affair. She hadn’t been in that shop even once since her parents divorced. She decided to brave it.
She heard the running water of a hose in the back and walked around the shop. It was unseasonably warm for October, and she found her father shirtless, hosing down a couple of kayaks. “Hi, Dad,” she said.
He jumped in surprise and turned toward her. Then he grabbed his shirt off the rail that supported several kayaks. “Livvie!” he said.
“I saw your girlfriend leaving and I thought... Dad, what happened to you?” she asked.
“What?” he said, quickly shrugging into his shirt.
“You’re all bruised. You’re hurt.”
“Huh? Oh, I took a fall and got a couple of bruises. Nothing, really.”
He was covered with bruises on one side of his chest and upper abdomen. “It looks like you were in a car accident! It looks really bad!”
“Damn wooden beach stairs,” he said. “Why’d you stop by?”
“Just to say hello,” she said. But the image of his bruises had distracted her. “I’ve never even seen this shop and when I saw that she wasn’t here...”
“Come on in and look at the place. It’s really a great little store. I’m glad you stopped by.”
He led the way through the back door into the shop.
“We have forty-two kayaks, a dozen paddleboards, snorkel equipment—that’s new since I came on. We’re going to increase inventory for next summer and add clothing, shoes, beach gear. I’m even thinking of adding a patio and getting a food handler’s license so we can sell drinks and sandwiches and snacks.”
“We?” she asked.
“Cat needs a little help turning this place around. I have a lot of retail experience, you know. Not to mention a degree in business.”
“So are you planning to work here for long?” Livvie asked.
He grinned. “Can’t beat the view or the working conditions,” he said. “We might be able to take on a little part-time labor next summer, if you’re interested.”
She was about to say not on your life, but instead she just said, “Thanks.”
He was clearly proud of the little shop, as though he’d built it or something. There wasn’t much to it—a counter, paddles and netting tacked to the walls, one room with kayaks and boards stacked on racks on either side, not a lot of moving around room. The floors and walls were weathered wood with a thin coat of sand covering the floors. She’d been around Half Moon Bay for months now, and she’d never seen many cars here, nor had she seen many kayakers or paddleboarders in the ocean just off this beach. There were many more just north of here where the water was calmer.
“We might expand and carry some scuba gear, but first we need a top-notch ad and coupon program, see if we can uptick the rentals. Maybe get into some sales by undercutting the local surf shop by a few bucks. We’ll see. Things are going to slow down over winter, and that’ll be a good time to concentrate on a new business plan.”
“I thought Aunt Addie said the woman owned it with her brother,” Livvie said.
“That was temporary. Her brother has another business in San Luis Obispo. Since I’m on board, he’s moved home.”
“Ah,” she said. “Well, I’m glad I stopped by to see it.”