As I waited for my flight to board, I took my phone out of my purse and dialed Julia's number. I knew Julia had taken the week of Christmas off so she would be home.
"Hey sis," she answered, "I thought you'd still be flying right now."
I cleared my throat. "I'm actually about to board my flight, Jules," I said, "um, back to Vegas."
There was a slight pause. "Why? Is everything okay?" she asked, worriedly.
"Well, yes and no. I broke up with Alex."
She hissed in a breath. "Oh, Gracie, I'm so… I mean, are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm good, Julia. We… weren't right together. It took me a little while to figure it out, and I'm sad about that, but a little relieved too, I guess." I took a deep breath. "Anyway, I'm headed home, and Julia, I'm nervous to tell you this, but, I'm heading home because Carson Stinger is back in my life–you know, the man I spent a weekend with almost five years ago. And he's not a p**n star anymore. He's a SEAL, or rather, a former SEAL who now works in security, and I, well, he wants me, I mean, I hope he still wants me." I paused. "My behavior toward him, well, it wasn't awesome and… anyway, I want him too and I'm going home to tell him that. And I hope you all will forgive me for ruining Christmas, but I have to do this because he taught me to follow my heart. And I am, and he's my heart." I started crying at this point, but I couldn't stop talking. "He's had my heart all this time, Jules, and that scared me so badly because I didn't think I could ever have him again. But–"
"Grace!" Julia came over the phone and I heard the huge smile in her voice, but then I heard a little sob in the background.
"Am I on speaker?" I whispered.
Julia and Audrey started laughing and crying and talking over each other.
"Girls! I can't even hear what you're saying. Audrey, I didn't even know you were there," I whispered into the phone and then turned around from the corner I had gone into so that no one could hear my call. Thankfully, no one was close enough to hear my teary rambling.
Audrey's voice came over the line. "Go get him, Gracie!" she laughed. "Alex wasn't for you. We knew that when we met him in Vegas."
"Why didn't you say anything?" I cried out.
"Because, we didn't know you'd get engaged to him! And then we felt badly. We were going to try to bring it up this week. But it would have been hard because he would have been here…. We, oh, it all worked out! Go get your guy, Grace. We'll talk dad down from the ledge."
I laughed, but then groaned. "Oh God, Dad. Will you tell him how sorry I am and that I'll explain. Tell him I'll call him as soon as I can, okay?"
"Don't call him too soon. We got this. Give him some time. It'll be fine. But you know Dad. He blows up first and asks questions later."
"Yeah, I know. Thank you so much. I love you girls so much."
"We love you too," they said together and I could hear the tears in their voices.
I hung up and went to the restroom to clean myself up. An hour later I was boarding my flight back to Las Vegas. Back to Carson.
**********
I touched down in Vegas at seven o'clock that evening. I had been traveling all day and I was right back where I had started, and yet the course of my life had just changed dramatically. Alex had driven us to the airport, and so I took a cab back to my house to get my own car.
I wished I knew exactly where Carson lived. I would go there first to see if he was home. But if he wasn't at Trilogy today, hopefully they would call his home number for me and I could get in touch with him that way.
I ran inside quickly to take a shower, washing the day of travel off my body. I dried off and pulled on clean jeans and a black cashmere sweater and my black boots. I re-did my makeup and grabbed my coat and ran out the door again.
As I drove out of my neighborhood and toward Trilogy, a case of nerves attacked me. What if he had changed his mind and decided that he didn't want me anymore? No, that couldn't be the case, could it? Surely that wouldn't have changed in less than a week? He had said I was in his blood–all these years I had been in his blood. A thrill shot down my spine. He was in my blood too, and I could hardly survive one more minute without him knowing that.
He hadn't been with anyone else in all this time. A lump formed in my throat and I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I considered the fact that neither one of us had had sex with anyone else since each other. I had half a mind–and plenty of hormones–to make that the first priority, right after I told him I wanted him.
Oh God, what if he had taken Kira up on one of her offers in the last couple days since he left my house? I wouldn't have blamed him, really. But it sounded like she had been making it known she was available before I walked into his office, and he hadn't done anything about it then. No, I couldn't allow my mind to go there right now. But my head was clear and the confusion and guilt that had been clouding things ever since I laid eyes on him again vanished. He was mine. And I wanted to be his. That was all I needed to focus on right now.
Except… something was going on with him and this case I was working. I couldn't figure it out and I knew that if things were going to go anywhere with us, we'd need to talk. Somehow though, that didn't feel like the priority. Suddenly, I knew with every fiber of my being that whatever was going on wasn't anything that was going to make me run. I trusted him. I trusted the man that he was. Despite the time and the distance, I knew he was good and decent. I knew it. And so whatever was going on, it would be okay.