It’s quiet this early in the morning and the sun is casting long shadows across the square. A few other people, mainly older local men with slicked-back gray hair reading the newspaper, are scattered about, and a few pigeons dart underneath the tables looking for pastry crumbs. I pick a small table near the church tower and the charming waiter brings me a cappuccino, which I drink so fast I have to order another. And then another. I’m more exhausted than I thought.
I barely slept at all last night. The couch was pretty comfortable but I was forever conscious that I was sleeping in the same room as Derio. Then he started having his night terrors. Holy bejesus, did that scare the shit out of me. He wasn’t as loud as he has been before, but his cries of anguish were so painful to hear. I don’t know how he makes it through each night, let alone the twins.
I even got up and went to his side, just in case. I don’t know what I expected to happen but I wanted nothing more than to wake him up and comfort him.
When he started calling out softly for his mother, I could hear the heartbreak in his voice. It undid me, cutting me to the marrow, and I couldn’t go back to bed after that. There was just too much sorrow in this house.
“Amber?”
I look around me, startled that someone could know my name, and see Shay and some dude walking across the square toward me.
“Oh hey,” I say, gesturing to the seats at my table. “Sit down. How are you?”
“Good,” Shay says. She looks stunning, even in the morning, and I kind of hate her. My hair is pulled back into a frizzy bun and I don’t have any makeup on at all. Thank God for sunglasses. “What happened to your head?” She leans forward, peering at my temple.
I forgot I had the bandage there. “Oh, nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
She frowns at me for a moment and then waves her hand at the boy beside her. “This is Danny, by the way.”
Danny nods at me politely. He’s not exactly the guy I expected Shay to be with it. He’s kind of goofy-looking and meek but I’m just making assumptions again. One of my bad habits.
“Nice to meet you,” I tell him and I hold my hand out for him to shake. He does so and it’s like shaking hands with a jellyfish.
“So where the hell you been?” she asks me while she signals for the waiter. “You were supposed to come back to the bar.” She talks to me like we’ve known each other for years and I’m totally okay with that. It reminds me of my friend Angela back in Cali, which then reminds me that I owe her a really long e-mail and not just the occasional comment on her Facebook and Instagram photos.
“Busy,” I tell her. “Really busy.”
She orders her coffee from the waiter like a pro. “Is that so? Busy with the children or with the mystery man?”
I manage a smile. “Both. And their full-time nanny, who they’ve had for like a million years, quit. Just yesterday. You don’t want to be a nanny, do you?”
She wrinkles up her nose. “Oh, hell no. I’m not a fan of kids.”
I watch a bunch of pigeons in the square take flight, their wings flapping noisily. “Yeah, well I thought I wasn’t a fan of them either but these kids . . . well, they aren’t as bad as I thought. Not anymore, anyway. I feel sorry for them. They’ve been through so much and I just don’t see how it’s going to get any better. I mean, how do you just get over losing your parents? I don’t even like my parents and I couldn’t imagine it. There’s just so much pain and suffering in that house but it’s all hush-hush and no one talks about it, especially not Derio, who’s becoming more of an enigma the more I get to know him. Now, with Felisa gone, I know I’m going to have to step up and become the nanny until they find someone. I had to take the kids to school this morning, which is why I’m up here at this hour. Lord knows what I’m going to have to do when I get back to the house. Cook? Clean? I don’t do that shit and I have no idea how I’m going to get through to Derio, especially when I need him the most.” I pause, taking in a deep breath. “Fuuuuck.”
Shay and Danny both stare at me for a moment before Shay puts her hand over mine. “Hun, how many cups of coffee have you had this morning?”
“Not enough,” I tell her as I ask the now-overworked waiter for another.
I stay with Shay and Danny for an hour, talking about Capri and traveling and this and that before I realize I should probably head back to the sad lemon house to check on Derio. I make a promise to come to the bar sooner rather than later, and Shay says she’ll put her feelers out for anyone who might make a good nanny for the children.
When I get back to the house there’s this strange feeling of quiet. And calm. I like it. I walk down the hall and see Derio sitting outside underneath the pergola, drinking from a bottle of water. For once he isn’t dressed immaculately—just black pajama pants and a plain white shirt. I like that look on him, too. I know I’m probably the last person he wants to see right now but I want to make sure he’s okay. Besides, I still need to give him a piece of my mind. He said some pretty uncalled-for things last night, whether he remembers them or not.
I head outside and when he sees me he raises his hand in a small wave. I could be an asshole and not return the gesture, kind of like he did when I first came here for the job interview, but I decide to suck it up. Someone has to be the bigger person and it might as well be the person without the hangover.
I wave then walk over to the pergola and stop at the front of the table, underneath the bright blooms. A few bees buzz about. It’s going to be a hot day.