“The sand and feathers. It’ll be the most talked about store front in town. We need to order the perfect twinkle lights. Hang them straight down from ceiling to floor like you said. Nate, Google lights and see what you find. I’m going to make a call about getting some sand. Bliss you find the feathers. Large white perfect feathers won’t be easy to find.”
I nodded and reached into my pocket for my phone. I didn’t watch as Octavia left through the backdoor to see if Nate followed. I Googled feathers and began my search. His presence was there. I could feel his gaze on me, I just chose to ignore it. Turning my back to him I studied the window that we’d be transforming and wondered if we needed to add anything else. Maybe some silver. The white with silver would be striking.
“You knocked this out of the fucking park. Blew Octavia’s mind.”
Nate had come closer. His voice was deep and there was a touch of pride in his tone. I found that odd considering his words to Octavia about me only moments earlier.
“Getting the sand in will be a bitch but it’s brilliant.” He was trying to get me to respond. He wasn’t used to me ignoring him. I wasn’t a rude person. Kindness was something I always wanted to be sure I had plenty of. However today with Nate I wasn’t feeling it. Turning around I shot him with a piercing glare.
“Us farm girls from Alabama can surprise even you I guess.” I didn’t wait for him to respond. Instead, I walked straight to the back where he wouldn’t be able to say more or Octavia would hear him. He knew I’d heard. That was all that had to be said.
Nate and I had no past, present, or future as far as I was concerned.
Now, to find those feathers.
Nate Finlay
MOTHERFUCKER.
Dammit to hell! Of all the things for Bliss to hear me say that was the absolute last thing I’d ever want her to hear. It was all bullshit. I was trying to save her job. To reassure Octavia and it backfired in my fucking face.
I had to go outside. To my truck. Away from it all. So, I could get control of my mouth. Because right now all I wanted to do was explain to Bliss why I’d said it and not give a damn if Octavia heard me. Which would hurt Bliss more. Not help.
But that look in her eyes was devastating. It said more than the unconcerned expression she was using to hide the pain. She hadn’t been able to mask it. I’d wounded her bad.
I rubbed my hand over my chest to ease some of the ache there. I didn’t want her to hurt. Fuck I didn’t want to make her do anything but smile. She lit up a room when she smiled. Anyone who would extinguish that didn’t deserve to breathe. Bliss was as close to perfect as a female got and what I’d done was killing me.
I stared at the closed door and weighed my options. I could go back in there and explain it to her. Fix this. Tell her exactly how I felt about her. How I was in awe of her. Or I could let her keep her job and go see her later.
Tonight.
After work. At her apartment.
That was what I’d do. Her place was safe. Octavia wouldn’t see me there and she wouldn’t know I’d talked to Bliss. She wouldn’t know anything. I started for the door and stopped. I couldn’t look at Bliss again and keep my mouth shut. I didn’t want her to think I meant those words and if she flashed me those shining, pretty blue eyes, so full of hurt again I would crack and blurt it all out.
I went back to my truck and jerked the door open then climbed inside. I’d go somewhere else for the day. I could call Octavia and make up some excuse why I had to go. I wasn’t her bitch and that store wasn’t my responsibility. If I didn’t want to work in it, I didn’t have to.
Driving around I’d ignored three text from Octavia. Funny, when she didn’t need me, she never texted. That suddenly annoyed me. I was thankful she didn’t drive me nuts just two weeks ago.
Bliss had changed it all. She hadn’t meant to but she had. Seeing her and being near her made me question just how happy I actually was with this life I had planned out. I’d caught myself thinking about how I missed drama in my life and for me that was crazy talk. For most men that was crazy talk.
Though Bliss wasn’t dramatic. She would mean more. Need more. And I wasn’t sure I could handle either. She deserved it all. After the shit she’d been through she deserved a prince and I wasn’t one of those. I was more like the bad boy. The one you spend a little time with then move on along.
Octavia got that. She was okay with me and how I was. Somehow that didn’t matter so much anymore. I pulled into Bliss’s parking lot and picked up my phone. Octavia’s three text were:
Where are you?
Can you get some storage shelves?
I’ve got to go for the day. Bliss is closing up. I’ll see you tonight.
That was it. She didn’t keep asking where I was. She didn’t call me. She didn’t seem to give a fuck. What man didn’t want that? A stupid one.
I texted back:
“I thought I’d take a drive and go see Grandpop. See you tonight. “
That was all she would require. No more explanation. Nothing.
A simple “K” was Octavia’s reply.
Easy. So damn easy. But was easy what I really wanted? Was it what anyone really wanted?
I walked from my parked truck to Bliss’s condo and tried to think of how I would explain this. What I would say. How I would say it. Nothing sounded good enough. I was just going to wing it and apologize. Tell her the truth. Get that hurt look out of her eyes. God, that was hard to see.