“He has to try,” I replied. The real issue here was that Crimson had, as of late, become interested in Cruz . . . again. It wasn’t the first time. When they were little they were inseparable. Much like Eli and me. But Crimson had always had stars in her eyes whenever she was around him. Time had changed them both, but the stars were still there for Crimson. Cruz led the terrible six. It took a lot to keep them constantly in trouble. Crimson was too smart for that. Or I thought she was.
“He’s the son of my father. Or so my momma says. So be careful Crimson. He’s not the settling down type. I love him, don’t get me wrong, but he’s in it for women period. All women. Every single one.”
Crimson sighed and growled frustratingly. “Yeah, that’s what my mom says, but your dad settled down for your mother. It is possible. Anything is.”
“You’re nineteen. Don’t even think about settling down yet.”
She shrugged. “I don’t think it sounds so bad.”
Crimson believed the fantasy. The one her parents had as did mine. I wanted that but I wondered if it was possible anymore. Did people still love like they did? Had that become a thing of the past?
“I want a fairytale,” she said softly.
I replied “Crimson, we all do” and put my arm around her shoulder. “But Cruz isn’t the one. Keep looking.”
She nodded. “Yeah, I know.”
“What are y’all whispering about?” Saffron asked as she sauntered up to us. Her skirt was so short if she bent over her bottom would show.
“How long everyone is going to pretend that Larissa and Micah aren’t dating. My guess is by Christmas we will all admit to knowing their secret. Unless Preston figures it out. Then their cover is blown.” I said that to conceal Crimson’s issue from Saffron who couldn’t keep her mouth closed. If she got wind of Crimson liking Cruz then it would be her mission to have him. Although she’d already been there and done that.
“I thought they were awfully close,” Saffron whispered as her eyes got big. Micah and Larissa would kill me if this got back to them. I’d made that up to get Saffron off the scent of a challenge, any obstacle, because she liked to take guys from other girls. Then she would throw them away.
The constant chatter of my “family” that surrounded me helped distract me from the conversation I’d had with Nate. Tonight as I lay in bed I would have time to go over it. He wanted to be friends. Friends? My chest hurt every time that word rang in my ears. Of course that was all he could want. He was engaged. And SHE was my boss.
How was I supposed to be friends with him? I needed to date again. That was my problem. My hurdle. Nate held a special place in my heart because he was my best relationship. The best I had experienced. After him no one had met my expectations. But I’d only been fifteen. We were kids being dreamy and irrational.
I had to try some more. The few dates I’d been on hadn’t been that great but that didn’t mean they were bad. I needed to test the waters. Take chances with different personalities; anything to wash Nate’s memory from my dreams, both day and night, because our time together plagued me.
“I’ve got to go in the back and get Cleo off the phone. Quickly, before my dad sees.” Crimson then excused herself to find her sister.
Saffron saw Holland talking to James Stone and hurried over there to draw attention, knowing she didn’t like James. She just wanted his eyes on her.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” my mother asked as she walked over to me, holding out a cup of punch. “I’ve watched you all evening. You’re upset about something. That frown line gives you away.”
I took the punch from her. I could lie but she would know. Momma knew everything. So, I was honest. “Nate Finlay is engaged to my boss.”
Mom’s eyes went wide. “The boy from that summer?”
I nodded. “Yep, the same.”
“Oh my,” she whispered and her frown matched mine. After all I had inherited it from her.
“Yeah, ‘oh my’ is right.”
“How long have you known?” she asked.
“Since the very first day at work. I didn’t think he remembered me. He pretended not to until this afternoon . . .”
Mom looked mad and interrupted. “Jerk. Goodness. That’s rude.”
I had to laugh. Momma was like talking to a friend. She listened and didn’t try to sugar coat it. We’d faced my cancer together. That made your bond stronger and I thought we were closer, as near to one another as could be.
“He wants to be friends,” I said.
She released a short laugh, as if that were ridiculous and I had to agree with her. At least she wasn’t telling me to give it a try, because my mom was honest and realistic. I loved that about her.
“He’s engaged. You can’t be friends. That’s impossible.”
I nodded.
“Does Eli know?”
I wasn’t sure why she asked that. There was no reason for Eli to know. He would just get overprotective and I wasn’t in the mood for that.
“No. He’ll worry.”
“He loves you.”
“I love him.”
Momma gave a sad smile. “I know.” I could tell by the look on her face she wanted to say more but she didn’t. Instead she took my hand and squeezed it. “One day you’ll know more.”
That didn’t make sense to me. Momma often said things that didn’t. Like she wanted me to figure life out on my own. I didn’t push for an explanation. Sometimes I did, but this time I didn’t, my gut telling me “you don’t want to know.” Right now I had enough to deal with. Like the fact that I knew being Nate Finlay’s friend was a terrible idea from the start. Yet, I was going to do it. Because if I didn’t, I would always wonder “what if it had just been a friendship? It could’ve been one like Eli’s.” I knew I was lying to myself. But cancer had taught me a lot. And the “what if’s” of this world were something I decided I never wanted to have. I wasn’t about to begin with Nate.