“In high school where did you and your friends hang out?”
Nate’s question came from out of the blue. I didn’t want to answer it. My life in high school wasn’t what he thought. Telling the truth would give away too much. Yet I wasn’t going to lie, so I chose a vague reply. “Here and there. Not too much to choose from around here if you want to stay away from the tourist.”
He chuckled. “Here and there? Really? That’s all I get?”
I shrugged and turned the question on him. “Where did you and your friends hang out?”
“The Kerrington Country Club. The beach and clubs in Destin.” He then paused and finished with a wink. “That’s the way you answer a question.”
I sighed. He was right.
“I didn’t go out a lot. I stayed home mostly. Eli was my only close friend.”
There, that was the truth. All he was getting from me.
“Why?” He frowned, but it wasn’t a frown of confusion, he was pressing me for more information. He was curious. I’d have to answer.
“Because I was an introvert. I liked my house and the safety there. I wasn’t good with people and Eli understood me. It worked because it had to. There was no other choice for me.”
“You don’t seem introverted.”
He didn’t know the girl who’d fought cancer. He knew the survivor. The outcome. My before and during cancer were something else entirely. “People change. Circumstances change you.”
His grandfather appeared at the table with two beers and sat them down. “Y’all decided on something to eat?”
I hated beer. But I kept my mouth shut. I could sip it to wash down my food.
“Two shrimp poboys with the chips you make. Extra salt. My blood pressure’s low.”
His grandfather nodded then smiled at me when I met his gaze with mine. “Good to have you back,” he said. Then he walked away.
I became a block of ice. Unsure if I should look at Nate.
“You must’ve made an impression on grandpop when you did come in before.” He leaned back and took a drink of his beer. “Do you even drink beer?” he asked.
I shook my head. He waved over a waitress. “Joyce, can Bliss have a . . .” he looked at me for an answer to his question.
“Sweet tea,” I replied. “Thank you.”
Joyce nodded. “Sure thing,” then she walked away, switching her hips for Nate.
“The old man thinks the world drinks beer.” He muttered, actually he whispered it. Then he added in a normal tone “did you have a favorite subject? In high school or anything after?”
The questions went on like that. Each query made me think harder about how I answered his questions. Keeping my secret was difficult, but somehow I managed it.
Nate Finlay
IT WAS ALL I could think about Sunday. That damn lunch. All the answers she avoided. Asking her had been unfair. She obviously was trying her hardest to keep it a secret from me. Along with who she was. That was my fault. She thought I didn’t remember and after spending time with her I realized her not reminding me was for my own benefit. Not hers.
The Bliss I’d fallen for that summer was the same. She was tougher now and had seen how ugly life can get. The girl became a woman, facing fear and winning, but her heart hadn’t changed. There was a kindness inside her that you couldn’t manufacture. It made you question your relationships. Had they been Bliss would it have worked?
Why the hell am I focused on this? That was a recipe for disaster. I had a good thing. The easy drama free kind of relationship all men look for. I wasn’t going to mess that up with Bliss. Even if she made me feel something I hadn’t in a long time. Seeing her smile reminded me there were women out there that weren’t solely concerned with their needs and simply pleasing their selfish desires.
I didn’t want to ever be as vulnerable as my father. Although my momma would never hurt my father . . . what if, I mean, if he lost her. If she died he wouldn’t live. He’d follow my mother in death. Sure he loved his children and had a good life, but mom was his number one. His center. A fucking necessity. That shit was scary as hell.
Octavia would never be my center. I was safe from that kind of heartbreak. I could continue on breathing and living if something happened to her. Sure I’d be sad, but I wouldn’t die from it, which was healthy and normal. That was all I wanted in life. Shallow? Yes. But shallow is safe. I’d convinced myself of that.
I was jerked from my thoughts when someone bumped me and dropped a box at my feet. Books went everywhere. “Sorry man, I didn’t see you. My bad. Wasn’t paying attention.” It was Eli. Standing in front of me.
His eyes locked on me and he straightened. There was recognition there and he wasn’t hiding it like Bliss. Had she talked to him about me? Did he think I remembered what she thought I’d forgotten? My God, this was confusing.
“Please tell me you don’t have a place here,” were the words that came from his mouth. If it had been anyone else I’d have considered that to be rude. But I understood and respected his concern. Bliss meant a lot to him. I wondered if she meant more than that? I couldn’t imagine them just being friends. I thought that would be fucking impossible. But then, of course, that was me. Eli may be different.
“My grandfather does,” I replied. Not that grandpop ever stayed here. He was always at the bar. I’d told him I would come by this afternoon and eat Sunday lunch with him. It was the only day of the week that he spent his afternoon at home. The bar was closed until six in the evening on Sundays. It was kind of his day off.