So Garrett took her lead.
“Okay, Cher, think you had the right idea puttin’ shit out there right away, so I’ll give you what I got so we can get it done and then just have you and me at Swank’s.”
He felt her eyes on him when she asked, “What do you got?”
Honest to God, he had no idea what her reaction was going to be to what he had to share. What he thought was that this might be a mistake, since it might be better if he could see her face in case she tried to hide any reaction.
Or it might be good that reaction was contained in the cab of his truck where she couldn’t try to escape from him.
“Mia wants me back.”
He didn’t need to see her face.
He felt her reaction.
It was forceful, so he reached out his hand, found hers, and was not surprised when she resisted his hold.
He held tight, dropping their hands to her thigh.
“That’s not gonna happen,” he said quietly.
She didn’t respond, so he quickly glanced her way to see her face was tight, eyes staring fixed out the windshield.
“That’s not gonna happen, Cher,” he repeated.
“Right,” she mumbled disbelievingly.
“Been fuckin’ her since we got divorced.”
Her hand spasmed in his.
“She’d come to me,” he went on. “She’d do it not frequent but regular. She says now that was her way of makin’ the first move toward reconciliation. How she thought I’d catch that when she came to get a dose of my dick and most the time was gone before I woke up, I have no fuckin’ clue. But she came again last Wednesday.”
“Fuck me,” Cher whispered.
“I turned her away.”
Cher said nothing.
“Told her not to come back. She wasn’t hip on that, went away, apparently thought on things, came back, and said she’s been tryin’ to sort our shit for years without doin’ fuck all to sort it. Now she officially wants to give it a go.”
Cher remained silent.
“I told her to get home, and when she pushed it, I told her she got anywhere near my condo, I would arrest her for harassment.”
Her hand spasmed again in his.
He knew he had her eyes when she asked, “Say what?”
“You heard me,” he answered. “But she’s Mia, so she didn’t back off. Sent me a picture of us before things went bad, sayin’ she’s gonna work on gettin’ that back.” He squeezed her hand. “That’s what you gotta know. So I didn’t go into this with you and fuck it up, I had to know I had my head right about her, and she fortunately gave me all I needed to get my head right about her which meant get her out of my head. In the end, wasn’t hard since all I could think about was you and how it wasn’t my favorite thing, sittin’ on my ass, waitin’ for you to either apologize or for your time to be up. But there it is.”
“All you could think about was me?” She again sounded disbelieving, but it was deeper this time, not harsh, but still, it almost hurt to hear.
He pulled her hand to his thigh before he answered, “Yeah.”
Cher didn’t say more.
“Okay, baby,” he started carefully, “you got that because you need it, for us startin’ out and just because you need to know that went down. But also, you need to know that puttin’ things into perspective with Mia meant I had to think on history. Bottom line, I fucked her over. I damaged what was us in order to end it because I had shit fuckin’ with my head I didn’t know how to sort. But I hurt her. Things got more out of hand after that and she participated in that, but it started with me burnin’ her and our marriage. She’s bent on attempting reconciliation. I need to make certain she knows that isn’t in the cards so she can finally move on. I also need to apologize to her for fuckin’ up what we had that’s now lost in a way we can’t go back.”
“So you need to talk to her,” she surmised.
“I need to talk to her,” he confirmed.
“Mia and Merry talking,” she muttered.
“Please don’t go back there,” he whispered.
He felt her eyes again on him, but she didn’t say anything.
“You’re here, and honest to fuck, it would pain me deeply, Cher, if you didn’t think I was where I needed to be with you to ask you to find that dress, put it on, and haul your ass into my truck to take a shot with me. I do not wanna go back to havin’ to prove it to you. What I do know with fuckin’ up another relationship is that you gotta lay yourself out from the start. Right now, that’s happening with Mia. You cannot hear it from someone else. And honestly?” It was a question, but he didn’t wait for her answer. “I want you with me when I do it. Not with me, sittin’ across from her. But with me so I can go to you after and lay on you what comes of that so I can let it go.”
Again, Cher didn’t speak.
He gave her time.
She said nothing.
“Am I back to provin’ shit to you?” he pushed.
“No.” Her voice was strange in a way he’d never heard from Cher. It was almost timid. “I’m here for you to lay it on me what comes of that, Merry.”
Thank fuck.
That took a lot for her. He knew it.
And he was glad for it.
So as he drove, he lifted her hand and brushed her knuckles with his lips, feeling her fingers curl around his almost too tight as he did it.