“Me too,” I say, matching her grin. But I’m determined not to give up. “I do have another idea, though. I have this blog online that I’ve had for a while. Whenever I have a problem, I always post on there and I always get really good advice back. Do you mind if I ask my readers for help?”
She shrugs. “That might work. But, honestly, there probably isn’t a ‘cure’ or ‘method’ that I haven’t already googled.”
“I know, but it might be worth a try, right?”
“Sounds good. What’s your blog?”
“It’s called Girl Online. It used to be anonymous, but then when all the stuff with Noah happened it kind of gave away who I am. Still, I’m glad. Some of the people I know through my blog have become some of my best friends—even though we haven’t met!”
“Oh, you’re so brave having a blog. Lots of people at school have them too, but I just can’t get my head round it. I just don’t think I’m the writing type.”
“No, you’re more the singing type!” I say with a laugh, and we jump off the bus, walk to my house and head upstairs.
“Wow, your room is awesome!” Posey gasps, as she takes in my cosy space in the attic.
“Thanks! I love it. It’s sort of like a Tardis.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, there’s all these nooks and crannies and hidden spaces behind the panelling, and my best friend lives in the room that’s just the other side of this wall. So, even though it feels small, there’s more space here than you think.”
“You’re so lucky. I had to share a room with my sister until I got in to Madame Laplage. I really don’t want to leave there,” she says quietly.
I’m about to say something further, when Posey squeals. “Oh my god! Have you met Leah Brown?”
She’s staring at my mirror, where I have Leah’s album cover with my photo on it. She’s signed it too.
To Penny, who saw the real me. Big love, Leah.
“Yeah,” I say with a sheepish grin. “That photo is one I took of her in Rome.”
“You’re kidding! Isn’t this her new album? You took this?” Posey says breathlessly. “Wow, you’re so lucky. She’s, like, one of my idols.”
“She’s pretty great,” I say with a laugh. “And yes, weirdly that somehow happened!”
The rest of the evening passes in a whirl of laughter and stories. Mum grills Posey about the current theatre scene and regales us with stories from her Paris days. I learn more about eighteen-year-old Mum in one evening than I’ve known my whole life—and I’m not sure I was quite prepared for it.
After we drop Posey back off at the station and wave goodbye, we all wish she could have stayed longer. I turn to Mum. “Do you think she’s going to be OK?”
“I genuinely don’t know,” says Mum with a sigh. “I’ve known a few actresses who let stage fright ruin their careers. Éloïse managed to overcome it, but I don’t know how. It has to come from deep down inside, I think. There’s no easy fix.”
When I’m back in my room, I type up my post to Girl Online.
26 September
Girl Online Asks For Help: Stage Fright?
You know when people say “I’m asking for a friend,” but really they mean themselves? This isn’t one of those occasions for once. I really, genuinely, am asking for a friend. A new friend actually, who has brought a lot of positivity to my week. Don’t you just love it when you meet someone and you instantly click? I love spending those first few weeks messaging back and forth, learning the ins and outs of someone and building a friendship that you know is going to be so solid. It’s like your lives just piece together and you wonder how you lived before without them in it. Like they’ve always been a member of your girl gang but you didn’t know it yet. That’s the feeling I’ve been having when I met Musical Genius.
Now here’s the thing about MG. She’s landed a lead role in her school production (claps all round) but she suffers from stage fright. Although I have anxiety, stage fright isn’t something I can fully relate to. Unless of course you count the last time I was onstage and managed to flash my frayed knickers at the entire audience—let’s be honest, that’s enough to leave anyone frightened. I want to give her the advice she needs in order to feel a little better about it, but I’m struggling. I don’t know what it must be like to love doing something so much but feel like, no matter how hard you try, you can’t give it your all. She describes it to me like she’s standing on the stage, looking out into the audience ready to sing, but her tongue has disappeared from inside her mouth. Then the panic rises as she realizes nothing is coming out and suddenly she’s frozen to the spot and the audience are a pack of lions, baring their sharp teeth in slow motion.
I’d love to know if any of you suffer from stage fright and, if you do or if you’ve overcome it, please leave me any tips that I can pass on to my friend. I also think it would really help other readers too. I can’t let MG pass up on something I know is a huge dream of hers just because her mind won’t cooperate at that very moment she needs it to most.
Girl Online, going offline xxx
Almost instantly, I get a direct message on Twitter from Pegasus Girl.
Hey Penny! I just read your latest post in my BlogLovin’ feed . . . Have you spoken to Leah Brown about how she overcame her stage fright? xx