And that takes precedence over a guy any day.
Chapter Eleven
The next day at school, I wash the last of the chemicals off my black-and-white prints and hang them up to dry on the line in my school’s darkroom. I’d taken shots of Bella playing with Princess Autumn, but they just haven’t turned out the way I wanted them to and I thank my subconscious brain for making me take some on my DSLR too. Normally, the darkroom is one of my happy places (even if it does leave me with brown fingernails when I forget to wear gloves). But today, it’s just not working for me.
Ever since I saw all the work Callum put into his portfolio I know I need to up my game. I can’t help the niggling feeling I’m just not putting enough time and effort into my craft—not if I really want to make it as a professional. I’ve had a few lucky breaks, but I don’t want to get by on luck alone. Plus, the words “uniquely Penny” keep ringing in my brain. These shots don’t even come close. I have half an urge to just turn on my iPhone and use the light to ruin them all. Unfortunately, I need to share the darkroom with my classmates, so I just grit my teeth and leave the prints to dry.
Miss Mills is sitting in the classroom outside, and she looks up as I slam the door to the darkroom, my frustration getting the better of me. Her eyes open a little wider. “Everything OK, Penny?”
“Oh, sorry, miss—yeah, I’m OK.” She waits a few moments until I cave in. “It’s just I can’t seem to get things right with the film camera lately. Everything I try is just . . . off. I don’t know what to do or how to change it. I don’t want to rely only on digital shots and Photoshop for this project.”
She gestures to the chair opposite her for me to sit down and I sink into it, dropping my bag at my feet. “You have been putting an awful lot of pressure on yourself, Penny. You’re doing fantastically well in your coursework and you need to keep things in perspective. Not every photo you take is going to be album-cover worthy,” she says with a wink.
“I know that, I do . . .”
“But?”
I grin. Miss Mills knows me so well. She’s been a rock for me since the events of last Christmas turned my life upside down, and she supported me all through the craziness of the tour with Noah—even though it was the summer holidays. She’s also one of the few people who read Girl Online when it was private. I trust her implicitly. “But I want to get better. I want to have a style that’s mine. I want someone to look at one of my photos and say, ‘Oh! That’s Penny Porter!’ ”
She leans forward across the table, resting her chin in her hands. “A style is something you develop over time, and you often have to try lots of different things until you find something that’s yours. I think what you need is a change of scene. Many of your pictures are of places round here in Brighton, but some of your best work has been when you’ve pushed out of your comfort zone a little.”
“Hmm, that’s true, I guess.” My mind starts to whirl, thinking of where I could go to take different photos, then: “Oh! I’m going to Scotland for half-term. Maybe I can take pictures there.”
“That’s great! But remember to look beyond the ordinary. You’re good at that, but I think that’s why you’re feeling a little lost right now—you’ve only been looking at what’s right in front of you. You just need to refocus and open your eyes again.” She sits back in her chair. “I’m not worried, Penny. You always find your way.”
“Thanks, miss. Are you doing anything nice for half- term?”
“I wish! It’s all marking, marking, marking for me . . . Good thing I love what I do.”
“Aw . . . well, I hope you get a bit of a break.”
“Me too, Penny!”
I grab my bag off the floor and head out of the door. As I walk towards my locker, I can see Kira and Amara waiting for me.
“Hey, guys!” I wave and run up to them.
“Penny! How was Megan’s fancy-pants new school?” Kira’s eyes sparkle.
“Honestly, it was like something out of Glee ! It’s very cool. It suits her a lot.”
“That’s good. Maybe we should go visit her too,” Amara suggests, perking up.
“When? I have so much studying to do!” Kira moans. She is definitely the most worried out of all of us about her marks. I put my hand on her arm and give her a quick squeeze.
My phone buzzes and I fish it out of my bag. I bite my bottom lip as I open the text message—
I can’t believe it’s actually happened.
“Penny? What is it?”
I look up at Kira. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve gone as red as a tomato!”
“Well, when I was at Megan’s, I met this guy . . .”
Amara and Kira let out a synchronized squeal that I’m sure only twins can pull off.
“What? Spill!” says Kira.
“His name is Callum, and he’s a photography student at the Madame Laplage school.”
“Is he cute?” Amara asks.
“So cute,” I reply, and now I can really feel the blush building. “And Megan gave him my number.”
“And he texted?” asks Kira. “That’s awesome! Are you going to meet up with him?”
“What about Noah?” Amara asks.
Kira punches her sister in the upper arm. “What did you bring him up for? Penny doesn’t need to be thinking about that right now.”