“How many have you taken in the past?” he asks, not looking up from the box.
“None.”
“Right, so you’re an expert.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m a woman.”
“I’ve noticed.”
Okay, now he’s just being difficult.
Finally, he drops one of each brand into the basket and guides me to the check out.
“You’re getting all of them?”
“Yes.”
I keep my mouth shut as we make our way to the register.
“That’s a lot of pregnancy tests,” the older woman says with a laugh as she begins ringing them up and tossing them in bags. “You know, they’re all basically the same.”
“That’s what I said!”
Landon just smiles and shakes his head at the lady. “We’re fine.”
“It’s your money,” she says with a shrug. “That’ll be ninety-six sixteen.”
Almost a hundred dollars for pregnancy tests!
That’s ridiculous. I roll my eyes again, but Landon pays without a word. When we’re in the car, he turns to me and drags his knuckles down my cheek, immediately calming me. “Would you feel more comfortable at my place or yours?”
“My car is at your house.”
“That wasn’t my question.”
I chew my lip for a moment. “I’d rather go to mine. That’s where we’ve spent most of our time together.”
He smiles gently. “Your place it is, sweetheart.”
He’s quiet on the ride to my place, but he keeps my hand tightly in his, our fingers linked. His composure has calmed me and I’m finally able to take a deep breath.
“That’s better,” he murmurs, and kisses my hand. “Just breathe.”
I nod and hold my breath for the length of a block before he laughs.
“You’re not breathing.”
“Oops.”
He finally pulls into my driveway, grabs the two bags of tests, and once we’re inside, I take them from him. “You can stay down here.”
“I’m coming up.”
“Okay, but you can’t come in the bathroom with me.”
He cocks a brow. “Why not.”
“I’m not going to pee in front of you!”
He simply chuckles and gestures for me to lead the way upstairs.
When we get to the bathroom, I turn around and hug him hard around the middle. “Before I go in, I just want you to know that I love you.”
“Cami,” he says, and kisses my head. “You’re coming out alive, I promise.”
“I know I’m being dramatic.” I sigh and pull back. “But this is kind of freaking me out.”
“I see that.” He smiles reassuringly and kisses my forehead. “We got this, babe.”
I nod, not reassured in the least. “Right. We totally got this.”
I walk into the bathroom, close and lock the door, and turn to the mirror. I step out of my flip-flops and frown when I realize that my feet aren’t just wet, they’re muddy.
Because it’s March in Portland, Einstein.
“You don’t have to lock it!” Landon calls out. “I’m not going to burst in on you while you pee!”
“Go far enough away so you can’t hear me pee either!”
I hear him mutter something about women, but I can’t make anything else out when I turn the faucet on, just in case.
Peeing when you know someone is waiting for you is harder than it sounds.
I take a deep breath and lean on the counter, looking at myself in the mirror.
“This could be a mess,” I whisper, “and I’m not just talking about the pee mess. I’m talking about everything, but you are a big girl. It’s going to be okay.”
Do I actually want to be pregnant? I really don’t have to ponder that question. I don’t. Well, I do, eventually, but not yet. Things with Landon are still relatively new, and I want to be selfish and just let it be the two of us for a while before we think about bringing little people into the mix. I want to plan a wedding, if he asks, and I want to maybe take a trip or two with him. Maybe he can show me Italy or Ireland or even Florida.
I’ve never been to Florida.
But when I think of the possibility of having kids, Landon is the only one that I want to have them with. He’s the only man that I want to be the father of my children, and if it turns out that I am pregnant, well, I guess we’ll deal with it.
It can be as easy or as difficult as we make it.
I stare at myself for an extra few seconds, and then shrug in resignation because I am so not convincing myself here.
I dump the contents of both bags onto the counter and stare at all of them in disbelief. How in the world am I supposed to pick one? One tells you if you’re pregnant five days before the others. Or at least, that’s what it claims. That should be good, right?
But another one actually has the words pregnant and not pregnant, instead of the blue lines, so an idiot can figure it out.
And I sure feel like an idiot right now, so I choose that one, open the box and pull the stick out, uncap it, and wrinkle my nose.
“What’s taking so long?” Landon calls.
“You bought four hundred tests!” I shake my head and then I can’t help it. I bust up laughing at the hilarity of it all.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Because this is ridiculous!”
“Did you pee?”