Janel set the bottle in the middle of the circle.
Kerry giggled. “This game is so stupid.” But she was peeking at Ben when she said it, and I wondered if she was as nervous as I was. If everyone was.
Janel cleared her throat, and I thought no. Janel was never scared.
“Okay, these are the rules,” Janel said. “When you spin the bottle, whoever it lands on, you have to kiss them for three seconds.” Her voice dropped with the scandalous challenge. “On the lips.”
“Even if it’s a girl?” Kimberly asked.
Janel huffed. “Isn’t that what I said?”
“Ewww.” Sarah kicked her feet and violently shook her head.
“Stop being a baby,” Janel said, eyeing her hard. “You said you wanted to come, so you have to play by my rules.”
Janel was the leader. She’d always been. Me and Janel had known each other forever. Janel’s momma worked at the diner with my gramma, so we were together a lot. Of course, that didn’t mean I got invited to things like this.
Janel spun the bottle first. It landed on Sarah. Janel crawled over and kissed her on the lips. Everyone counted to three. Janel sat back. “See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
Sarah pressed her hand over her mouth. “I don’t think I want to kiss anyone.”
Janel glanced at Kimberly with a roll of her eyes. “I told you she wasn’t cool enough.”
Janel set her gaze on me. “How about you?”
The nod of my head was emphatic, my nerves abuzz.
“Good. You’re next.”
Was it possible my belly could move all the way to my throat? Clumsily, I spun the bottle. It landed on Kimberly. I squeezed my eyes closed when I leaned across the circle and kissed her, a peck to the lips. It wasn’t so bad. But that wasn’t who I wanted to kiss.
And I felt so shaky, my heart fluttery and funny while we spun and spun, continually taking turns.
Aaron spun the bottle again. The bottle spun and wobbled until the top of the neck finally pointed at me. Those butterflies smacked their wings, my stomach wild.
Aaron started to lean across the circle. Janel set her arm out in front of him. “I think you two should do this in private. In the closet.”
My eyes grew wide. “But—”
“My house, my rules, remember?”
I climbed to my feet, suddenly feeling sweaty as I glanced down at my body then at Aaron’s when he reluctantly stood. Janel hopped to her feet. “This way.”
I followed her across her room to the closet. Janel opened the door. “Get in.”
It was dark inside, and for a second, I hesitated. Everything felt wrong and funny, the warnings my gramma had always given me about being smart and if something felt off, it probably was. To trust my gut.
I ignored it. I had finally been invited and I wasn’t going to mess this up. I stepped inside, waiting for Aaron to step in with me, but then Janel laughed so loud a shudder rolled through me just as the door slammed shut in my face.
Laughter roared from the other side. Panic welled. I jerked at the handle, but it didn’t budge. “Come on, Janel, it’s not funny. Let me out.”
More laughter. “Did you really think Aaron would want to kiss a fat cow? You’re so stupid, Rynna Dayne. Like he would ever like you. Like any of us would like you.”
Tears burned in my eyes. “Please.”
“Twenty minutes time out for the cow,” Janel sing-songed. Their laughter rang through the thin door, and I sank to the floor of the closet, hugging my knees to my chest, wondering if I would ever stop feeling so alone.
14
Rex
“Open wide and say ah.”
From her spot on the edge of the exam table, Frankie did as she was told, opening her mouth so wide I didn’t know how he wasn’t looking at the inside of her stomach. She gurgled an elongated ahhhhh that was mixed with a giggle and did her best not to fall into a fit of laughter when Kale put a depressor against her tongue and shined a light on her throat.
“Oh, no.” If Kale weren’t acting a fool, exaggerating his worry, I would have been on him in a flash, demanding to know which of the bajillion horrible illnesses could be the actual culprit for her symptoms.
So yeah.
I’d tumbled down the rabbit hole of internet searches on my phone while I’d been watching her sleep her fever away this last weekend.
Apparently, Google was the number you were actually supposed to multiply your worry by.
Because that shit was scary.
But Kale was being Kale.
Tossing out teases at Frankie like they were candy.
Frankie’s eyes went wide. “What’s it, Uncle Kale?”
He dropped his voice to a secretive whisper. “Don’t tell anyone, but I think there are monsters living in your throat.”
Frankie giggled harder and lifted her shoulders to her chubby cheeks. “Nu-uh. There no monsters livin’ in my throat.”
Kale huffed dramatically. “And how do you know that? I’m the doctor here.”
“My daddy told me there’s no such fing as monsters.”
“And your daddy is smarter than I am?” With the way Kale cut me an evil eye, I wondered how much of his offense was feigned.
“Course he’s smarter than you. He’s the smartest daddy in the whole, whole, whole wide world.” Her arms pumped up higher every time she repeated the word. She glanced over at me. “Right, Daddy?”
I shrugged from where I was leaned against the wall with my arms crossed over my chest. “My daughter is the smartest kid around. She knows her stuff.”
He quirked a brow. “And that stuff is that you’re actually smarter than I am?”
My lips twitched. “Guess so.”
This time Frankie threw her arms all the way in the air. “I know all the stuffs.”
“Is that so?” He poked her belly. Instantly, she was howling, grabbing at his hand.
“It’s so! It’s so! It’s so, so, so.” She kept chanting as he jumped into a full-fledged tickle attack, and my chest was doing that crazy thing where it felt too full and too proud and too content, which happened just about every damned time I looked my daughter’s way.
I was telling no lies.
She was my light.
The life inside me.
She sobered about as quickly as she’d collapsed into laughter. “Am I alls better, Uncle Kale?”
He touched her chin with his knuckle. “All better, pumpkin pie.”
Her face scrunched. “I don’t likes punkin’ pie, Uncle. I likes cherry pie.”
Of course she did.
Incredulous, his brow lifted. “You want me to call you cherry pie?”
He was holding back laughter, looking over at me like he was just waiting for me to bust up.
“Uh . . . can we not?” I said, pushing from the wall, irritated because I knew exactly where Kale’s mind had gone traipsing. Right to that damned Warrant video Ollie had made us watch on repeat for the entire summer between third and fourth grade. Apparently, fourth grade was right about the time when Ollie had decided girls weren’t exactly gross.
Or maybe I was irritated simply because the mention of cherry pie had my mind traipsing straight to thoughts of Rynna.
Neither of us could seem to resist whatever the fuck that insanity was that burned between us. No question, she was just as much a prisoner to the ruthless energy that thrived between us as I was. This violent need. Growing stronger every time it forced us together.
Irresistible.
Stupid.
Reckless.
God knew that was what touching her had been.
Reckless. Just because you knew something that didn’t make you wise.
And I swore that touching her had scored the very depth of me.
It’d been too much. Too good. Too right when I knew every second of it was so goddamned wrong.
Most terrifying part was I wasn’t sure I’d ever wanted a girl the way I wanted her.
Not in all my life.
Watching her walk away with all that understanding on her face? That had been a kick to the gut. Hurting her when it was the last thing I wanted to do. But the only thing I had to offer her was the fucking mess I’d made.
I shook myself from the thoughts. “Everything look okay?”