His grip tightened. I cried harder.
“Come on.” Showing more tenderness than I knew he could possibly possess, he lifted me into his arms and kept a fresh towel pressed against my palm.
Sergio said nothing, just watched with narrowed eyes as Phoenix carried me out of the kitchen and up the stairs. “Hold the towel tighter.”
In too much pain to argue, I whimpered and clenched the towel against my palm as tight as my fingers would let me. I leaned my head against his sweaty chest. It felt good; he smelled good, like man, like a real person, rather than a ghost walking around in someone else’s skin.
“Sorry.” Phoenix’s jaw popped again. “I should have showered but—”
“It’s fine.” It was more than fine. “I don’t mind.”
A grunt. Yup, that’s all I did to him, made him grunt and hate food.
“Down you go.” He set me on his bed then went into the bathroom. Minutes later, he emerged with a small kit.
The bleeding had slowed down, but I still held the towel tight against my hand.
With a wince, Phoenix pulled out a syringe and a small glass vial; he tipped the jar over, put the needle inside, and drew back the plunger, pulling in a bit of the liquid. Then he tapped the end of the syringe before reaching for my hand.
I jerked away. “What are you doing?”
“Making it so you don’t cry anymore,” he said gruffly, taking my hand in his and pressing the tip of the needle directly into my palm. I let out a little hiss as the sting burned all the way down my fingertips. A warm sensation flooded me, instantly taking place of the pain. Then my entire hand went numb.
Phoenix eased the needle from my skin, set it next to me, and then pulled something from the kit that looked like Super Glue and white gauze. “I won’t stitch you up because I think this should do the trick. He pressed my skin together and then put the liquid on the large gash. When it was covered, with one hand he kept the skin together, with the other started wrapping fast around my palm.
“Where did you learn to do this?”
“Prison.”
I smirked.
A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips then quickly disappeared. “Pretty sure in our business its typical to know how to fix a flesh wound. Hospitals ask too many questions.”
“It’s not like I got shot.”
His hands froze over mine then started to shake. When I tried to move my left hand to cover his in a comforting gesture, he jerked away and shot to his feet like I’d just stabbed him.
“So…” He pointed to my hand. “You should be fine… I’m tired.”
Right, that was my cue.
I stood on wobbly feet and collapsed back onto his bed.
He swore and then his arms were around me, carrying me out of his room and into mine.
One last smell…
One last memorization of what it felt like to be in his arms.
Protected. Safe. Special. Even if just for one minute in my sad pathetic life.
“Thanks,” I whispered once I was safely on my bed and he was halfway to the door, as though he was late for a meeting.
He paused. “Yup.”
And that was it.
CHAPTER SIX
All I’m capable of is pain; all I feel is hurt.
Phoenix
I WENT TO BED early that night. Too many conflicting emotions were pulsating through my mind, and I was sick of trying to constantly control everything. If I was being completely honest, she terrified me. I’d been numb for so long that even her touch was like getting burned. My entire body flared to life, and then I was suddenly reminded of what happened when I was with a woman.
I tok advantage of her.
I hurt her.
Because that’s all I’m capable of.
I was dangerous; she just didn’t know it. And I didn’t know how else to keep her safe other than pushing her away, making her hate me, making her realize that I wasn’t anything special.
Nightmares haunted me.
Even the smell of the dank rooms my father had kept the girls in… it somehow found its way into my nightmares, causing me to get sick damn near every night.
Bee was innocent.
So. Damn. Innocent.
Even touching her pissed me off because I could swear I saw the darkness leave my body and try to imprint onto hers.
I shivered and tried to force my eyes to close. Tomorrow was the first day of Hell, where I had to return to the one place I swore I’d never go back to.
The place that started it all.
Eagle Elite.
My nemesis. My curse.
The door to my room softly clicked open. I jolted from my bed, sliding my knife from underneath the pillow and lifting it above my head.
Bee wandered in, lifting her hands. “It’s just me.”
I dropped the knife onto the nightstand and leaned back against the pillows. “What the hell do you want?”
She didn’t answer, but she was moving closer. I could tell by the way the air shifted whenever she was near. My body quivered with both sickness and a dull longing as the mattress sank under the pressure of her body relaxing against it.
“Phoenix…” Her voice was small, weak. “…I just… I have a question, and I couldn’t sleep, and I knew you wouldn’t be sleeping because you’re like a vampire and all.”
“I love it when you wake me up at two a.m. with compliments.”
“But…” As always, she ignored my irritated tone and just kept on talking. “…promise me you won’t laugh.”