Phoenix’s face tensed. Nostrils flared. I knew that look; it wasn’t a friendly one.
“You guys meeting at Starbucks?”
“Yup.” Pike nodded. “Hey, give me your cell number, and I’ll text you—”
“Nope.” Phoenix pushed his outstretched phone away. “If she needs to get ahold of you, I’ll put up a bat signal, superhero. Run along before I shoot you.”
“Do it.” Pike sneered. “You’d just go to prison. Shitty little De Lange thinks he can power-push on campus? Newsflash, you don’t own this school anymore. I do. Hell, I’m surprised you even showed your face here after all the shit you did…”
With a curse, Phoenix gripped Pike by the shirt and slammed him against the wall. “Your’re right, asshole. I did so much shit. Shit that would have you screaming like a little bitch and sleeping by your damn nightlight. I kill, and here’s your little newsflash…” He grinned menacingly. “I enjoy it. So make me an offer I can’t refuse… I’ve always loved a good chase.”
Pike’s smile fell.
With one last shove, Phoenix slammed his hand above the wall and then ushered me out of the building. Fingers dug into the sensitive flesh above my elbow as I stumbled beside him.
My heart was pounding so fast I could feel it in my throat, threatening to choke the life out of me.
We didn’t say anything until we got to his car.
When the door slammed, Phoenix released me and pinched the bridge of his nose whispering, “Remember, little girl, his precious little life is in your frail hands.”
“What?” I hissed then glanced around us to make sure nobody could hear “You’d kill him?”
“Doll…” Phoenix barked out a laugh. “You have no idea what I’d do to him — what I’d enjoy doing to him. What I’m capable of.” His eyes flashed. “Don’t push me over the ledge we both know I’m already teetering on, because I will fall into the darkness embracing every damned part of myself, and it’s going to be on you. All you.”
He meant it.
I knew he meant it. Phoenix’s eyes brimmed with hatred; I could almost see the anger steaming off his body as his chest heaved. What would it be like to help him carry some of it? To be the friend he actually needed.
“Should you really be threatening the Cappo’s sister?” Yeah, I just had to poke the bear harder.
With a smirk, Phoenix pushed me against the car, his finger jamming into my chest. “Doll, I don’t care if you’re dripping in gold and the secret to mankind’s future survival. You listen to me or people get hurt. Those are your choices.”
“So.” I gulped. “You hurt people to prove a point?”
“No,” he growled. “I hurt people to keep you safe. I hurt people to make sure you breathe another damn day. I hurt people out of necessity, not out of desire. But one false move and the lines blur, princess. They blur into one. The minute that happens I won’t hesitate to blame you every single day for the rest of my life, for waking the beast that should have stayed silent.”
“It’s a choice,” I croaked.
“No.” Phoenix backed away. “It’s my miserable existence. Now get in the damn car. You have homework.” He moved around and opened his own door while my fingers were having difficulty even connecting with the smooth steel.
Finally, the door opened. I got in and crossed my arms. Pissed at him for making me feel stupid. Again. Angry that his opinion really meant that much to me. And lost… yeah, that’s what that empty feeling was.
I belonged nowhere.
Was wanted by no one.
And the one guy who invited me to coffee was going to get freaking killed if I as much as sent him an emoji text.
We drove in silence the entire way to the house — if silence counted as Phoenix’s heavy breathing and cursing under his breath in Sicilian. The guy still looked like he wanted to run with the bulls and bring a semi-automatic, just in case one of them got feisty.
Phoenix put the car in park.
I didn’t move.
I was scared to do anything except look straight out the window. But I wasn’t scared of him. He would never hurt me.
Maybe I was scared of me, scared of my reaction to him, scared that when he did nothing but warn me away, I was desperate for more attention and would do anything to get it.
“Bee...” His voice was gruff. “…I need you to understand something.”
I exhaled, waiting for another scolding.
Instead, Phoenix’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Guys like Pike, guys like me… we aren’t the good guys. The ones girls dream about. We don’t bring flowers to a first date, we don’t wait the allotted few dates for sex or a kiss. We don’t imagine a white picket fence, a yard full of kids, and a dog named Spot. That’s not our reality, but, princess, it could be yours. Tex wants that for you. I want that for you. So please… just listen to me when I warn you. It’s not because I’m a sick controlling bastard who’s hell bent on keeping you from having fun and living your life. It’s because I’m a controlling bastard who can’t imagine a life where even one hair on your head is out of place.”
Tears pooled in my eyes. Slowly, I turned, waiting to see the usual anger behind his eyes.
Instead, all I saw was regret.
Regret on Phoenix looked like a gaping black hole just waiting to be filled with something — anything that would make the darkness go away. Hollow. He was so hollow and empty.