But I was absolutely terrified.
My mind wouldn’t allow me to register the fact that Luca had planned the entire thing, that he’d pre-determined that I was worthy when he wasn’t even sure I would be.
Faith that I really didn’t deserve and a type of love I never really got to know—until it was too late.
Frank had the papers in his car—in his damn car! Like Luca knew he was marching off to his death!
After reading through the first paragraph my knees buckled and I fell to the ground, groaning, screaming—mourning.
It took Tex, Nixon, and Chase to finally pull me to my feet and take me into the office. Even then, I was so raw, so alive that I was afraid if anyone touched me I would scream in agony from the pain of the emotions swirling through me.
“Do you need me to read it?” Nixon had asked once I’d calmed down enough to breath and keep from passing out.
I nodded, biting down on my fist as I stared at the wall.
Nixon read, I heard nothing.
Two hours into it I finally told them to leave me alone… everyone left but Tex. I knew what he wanted, could see it in his eyes, tension and anticipation had wrapped itself so tightly around him that the guy hadn’t stopped clenching his fists.
“Phoenix.” Tex licked his lips and took a seat across from me. “I don’t know if threatening you will do anything. But I’ll threaten you if I have to.” His eyes flickered towards mine before staring back at the floor again. “If you’d rather I cry, I can do that too.”
I sighed, hunching my shoulders, trying to crawl into myself.
He cleared his throat. “If you want me to get on my knees, fine.” With a grunt, he dropped, his knees hitting the dark wood floors with a thunk. “I’ll get on my damn knees, I’ll beg and I’ll plead until my voice is hoarse… don’t make me marry someone I don’t love. Don’t allow that contract to go through. Make your first act as boss a positive one, for me, for Mo, for The Family.” His tone turned desperate as he reached for his hair and tugged tightly, his teeth clenched as a hoarse cry escaped his lips. “I love her so much. I can’t breathe man, I can’t freaking breathe without that woman, I can’t—” A tear fell down his cheek before he could stop it. “I can’t do this life without her by my side. The darkness… it’s so cold, but it’s inviting, you know? Like I could lose my damn soul and it would be okay—she pulls me from that, she’s the only one that can, the only one that makes that hole not feel so big.” His hands shook as he rocked back and forth. “Please…” His voice cracked. “Please, Phoenix, please give me this one thing. I’m begging you, man to man, friend to friend, boss to boss, please give me Monroe Abandonato.”
I didn’t deserve his begging.
I would have had said yes had he decided to punch me in the face and laugh afterwards—I owed him that much. Besides, something told me that I would need a favor from him someday, one of epic proportions.
But it wasn’t the driving force behind my decision. I thought back to Luca, the type of man he was. In that moment, he would have looked stern, possibly pissed, but he would have done the right thing. He always did the right thing, so to honor his memory, I did the right thing for the second time in my life, I did the right damn thing.
“Tex.” I fought like hell, I fought the emotions coursing through my veins, I fought the anger, the fear, the humility. “You didn’t even have to ask.”
Blinking rapidly, he looked into my eyes, his own full of unshed tears. “What?”
I stood and held out my hand. He gripped it as I pulled him to his feet. “I want my first act as boss to be a good one, a pure one, God knows not all decisions will be as easy as this.” I pulled him in for a hug. His arms tightened around me as I whispered. “Be happy, brother.” Because that’s what he was, a brother, and I vowed in that moment to never, ever let my brothers down again. Not Nixon, not Chase, not Tex.
Minutes later when he walked out of the room, I broke down and cried. I cried because I’d finally been given what I’d wanted my entire life—but the cost had been too great.
The man undeserving.
How did people survive this? Tears poured down my face as the realization that I would never be able to earn what Luca had given me, but I sure as hell was going to try.
CHAPTER SEVENTY-TWO
Maybe blood doesn’t always win out—maybe sometimes love can trump blood.
Mo
I WOKE UP WITH a smile on my face—I tried really hard to look cool about it too. I’m lying next to the sexiest man on earth and he’s all mine, no biggie, right? Right?
No. I glanced to my left. That would be a hell no.
His arm was thrown above his head and the blanket had fallen down to his waist revealing his tight golden abs and part of his hip bone. My breathing picked up speed as I kept looking.
Tex’s hand shot out and gripped my wrist. Laughing, I tried to pull back, but eyes closed he lifted me effortlessly onto his body and placed his hands on my hips.
One eye opened, then two, as a smirk crossed his face. “Morning beautiful.”
“Don’t you mean good morning?” I leaned down and kissed his mouth softly.
“Freaking great morning.” He returned my kiss with fervor. “Best morning of my life. You?”
“Ah.” I pulled back and shrugged. “I’d give it a seven or eight.”
Tex bucked underneath me, tossing me against him and then flipped me onto my back as he kissed down my neck. “Yeah, yeah, keep talking.”