Tex
I WENT THROUGH THE MOTIONS. I said goodbye to the men, I shook hands, I accepted the cigars and drinks, I laughed like I didn’t have a care in the world and talked to them as if I truly cared whether or not they all got shot at The Commission.
It was all a lie.
Because my heart wasn’t in it.
My heart didn’t even exist anymore. I’d already given it away. I promised myself I’d make it real, and I’d done exactly that. Only the joke was on me. I gave her everything, knowing there was no turning back. Knowing that in that moment, in her room, I was finally allowing myself to feel one last time, what it was like to be loved.
I knew the minute we were done that it was over.
I knew the future wouldn’t include the love of my life, but an arranged marriage with a strange woman who would bring the Campisi family back into trusted circles.
Power, it was all about power. Being a part of the Mafia was like being in a chess game where you had no idea if you were the queen or a pawn, until it was too late, until you lost the entire game or until you won.
I wasn’t sure if I would win.
But I sure had to try.
“Hey.” Bee walked up to my side and touched my arm. “Think we can talk?”
“Yeah.” I said hoarsely. “Let’s go out back.”
I gripped her hand in mine and led her to the backyard. It was a chilly evening, but Nixon had turned the outside heaters on just in case the men wanted to go outside and smoke.
“So.” She stood beneath the heater, arms crossed. “You’re my brother.”
My smile felt forced. I had no connection to this woman, no memory of her, she was a stranger, yet I’d die for her. The absolute madness that washed over me at keeping her safe wasn’t even logical. I just knew I’d kill for her, without a second thought.
“That I am.”
“You’re tall.”
“I ate a lot of spinach growing up,” I joked.
She snapped her fingers. “Right, I was never one for vegetables, always fed them to the dog.”
“Which is why you’re smaller than me.”
She grinned. “Yeah it has nothing to do with me being a girl.”
“Woman,” I corrected. “You’re all grown up.”
“Do you… ?” She chewed her lower lip and took a tentative step forward, her heels clicking on the wood. “Do you remember me at all?”
I sighed, scratching the back of my head. “By the time you were born I was long gone, Bee. I’m sorry.”
Her brows furrowed for a minute. “Yeah, me too. It would have been nice to have someone to talk to.”
Uncomfortable, I cleared my throat. “Well, I’m sure you had friends, right?”
Her look was incredulous. “Friends? Brother dear, I had to look up the definition of that word when I was six and saw a TV show about a sleep over. Dad never took me anywhere. I’m pretty sure the only reason I lived was because Mom was so fiercely protective, didn’t want to lose another child and all that.”
Pain pierced through my chest. What would it have been like to have had a parent care so desperately for you? I didn’t know. Would never know that kind of love.
A brief image of Mo flashed across my mind.
That was a different kind of love, and it was no more.
“Have you heard from her?”
Bee shook her head. “After Phoenix took me into his protection I was cut off from the entire family… Phoenix was afraid Alfonso would try to use me as a way to get to you.”
“Smart.” I sighed. “I guess I owe Phoenix a lot. He um, he never touched you, right?”
Bee snorted with laughter. “You kidding? Swear, I asked him if he was g*y every single day he was with me.”
Yeah I bet Phoenix had hated that. “So, he didn’t?”
Bee’s cheeks stained pink. “He doesn’t even see me.”
Yeah, I highly doubted that. Phoenix may have been to Hell and back but he was still a man and my sister wasn’t a child. Hell, I was having a hard enough time letting her wear a cocktail dress in public.
Clearing my throat, I looked away. “You’ll stay here.”
“Here?” She repeated “In Chicago?”
“Here.” I licked my lips. “With me and the Abandonato’s until I take my place.”
Bee’s shoulders slumped as she examined her nails, almost trying to appear indifferent about the whole thing. “So, is that what you’re going to do? Follow in Daddio’s footsteps and damn us all to Hell?”
“No,” I snapped. “I’m going to fix it.”
“But—”
“Leave it at that,” I warned. “I’ll keep you safe and I’ll fix everything—all of it.”
“So, you’re Superman now?” Another step towards me and then finally she laid her head on my shoulder. “I always was fond of the cape.”
“No…” I wrapped my arm around her. “Superman would find a better way to do what I have to do.”
“And what’s that?”
“Kill a lot of people.”
“Oh.” She didn’t cringe at all instead she pressed closer to my side. “Just do me a favor?”
“Anything.”
“Don’t kill Phoenix.”
At that I laughed. “Can’t kill what the devil don’t want.”
She tensed.