His smile matched mine. “I forget how much you like being scolded.”
“Only if the one scolding has a firm hand.”
“Every last inch of me is firm and you know it.” Tex tugged me into his lap. “School will distract you, it will give you a better future then guns and war, it will take your focus from tragedy to the future. Please, for me, Mo, please try to do normal.”
“Normal.” I shook my head. “Not sure I know what that word is.”
“Normal,” Tex repeated. “Making love to someone under a tree not because you have to say goodbye, but because it’s the best way you can think to say hello.”
My lower lip quivered.
“Normal.” His voice was hoarse. “Marrying the love of your life not because her brother shoots you at point blank range—but because not marrying her would be a fate worse than death.”
He was silent then added, “Three minutes.”
I clenched his shirt with my hands and fought the urge to sob against his chest.
“Normal.” Tex’s voice was barely audible. “Going from country to country, traveling all over the world, not because you have a hit on you, but because you want to see the girl you love smile in every country God ever created.”
I knew the time was ticking by, it seemed the less time we had the faster it went, I guess that’s life.
I was looking at two more minutes, maybe less, with my lover, my friend, and all I could do was clench his shirt in my hands and twist, somehow willing him to stay on the ground rather than get up and walk towards certain death.
“Normal.” Tex moved to his feet, helping me up. “Giving the woman you love two hours of your time, because you can’t imagine spending your minutes, those precious seconds, any other way.”
Tex kissed my mouth hard, nearly bruising my lips before stepping back and kissing my nose.
“Time’s up,” he said gruffly.
“We’re no longer friends.” I said it as a statement, not even a question.
“For two hours I was your lover, your friend, your everything.” Tex looked away. “For the rest of eternity—I’m now your enemy.”
“I hate life.”
“Don’t.” Tex grimaced. “It will be easier to just hate me instead.”
“But—”
“We’re done here, Mo. Go back inside.”
“Tex—”
“I said.” His jaw popped. “We’re done, now go back inside and go to sleep.”
I kept the blanket wrapped around me and grabbed my clothes, a sense of loss washed over me as my feet padded against the cold grass. Each step I took was like trying to run through cement. My heart was beating, but all I felt was pain. A sob escaped my mouth as my feet touched the back deck, I turned around one last time to see his face.
To get my goodbye.
But he was already gone.
As if the Tex I knew had never existed in the first place.
I hung my head and cried. I cried for the boy I knew, the boy that turned into a man. A man who was forced to make a choice, his past or his future. I cried because I knew the Tex I’d loved, the one who’d held me so tenderly in his arms, was never going to come back.
He would have to go all in.
Tex no longer existed.
No, now he was Vito Campisi Jr., and the world was about to feel his rage, I only hoped my family wouldn’t be shredded in the process.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience—Julius Caesar
Tex
I LEFT THE OLD ME with Mo for safekeeping. It was the only way I knew I could get in the car and meet Phoenix. So as I took those few steps towards the front of the house, I allowed myself to grieve the man I had been— And mourn the man I was becoming.
I thought of Mo’s smile of how that one tiny thing changed my world from dark to light.
I imagined her lips, her moans, her body, how welcoming she’d always been to me.
And lastly, I thought of her pure heart, her soul, how she was willing to fight demons on my behalf, knowing full well she was defending the very monster she feared.
She was strength.
She was everything.
When I reached the front of the house I turned around and gave it one last glance. I was leaving as Tex, and I’d be returning a Campisi. Whatever Phoenix had to say wasn’t going to end well in my favor, but if I could protect her, save her, I’d do anything.
Anything.
“Goodbye, Mo,” I whispered into the air and took a deep breath before grabbing the keys to one of the Ducatis and hopping on.
The reign of Alfonso was going to end—and it was going to end by my hand. Alive or dead. Retribution was coming.
With a smirk I took off towards the bar.
****
By the time I reached my normal watering hole, I was numb, not a good numb either but the type of numb you feel when you know you’re about to do something that’s irreversible.
The point of no return was officially my theme song.
Each step towards Phoenix meant a step away from Mo.
And I hated that I had the strength and courage to go forward, wished in that second that I was a bit of a coward, willing to steal her away and live in peace on some godforsaken island. Hell, I’d catch fish for the rest of my life with that woman.
But that’s the thing parents don’t tell kids, teachers candy coat everything, no adult in my life ever prepared me for reality. Nobody ever said that the life you see on TV is rare—bloodshed? That’s the norm. The picket fence? That’s what you get if you’re lucky.