"Wow." I had to say that out loud, because I'm blown away. The last seven minutes of my life is something I'll never forget. I shake my head to clear it. "Let's give it up again for the motherfucking genius." Gustov bows again and walks offstage. I look back at Franco. I'm still stunned, lost in the dream-like state this performance has taken on. "Did that seriously just happen?"
Franco looks as in awe as I feel. He nods slowly and that gives way to full-on belly laughter and I can't help but join him. You know how sometimes something happens and it's so much more than you ever expected? The type of so much more that leaves you speechless and thinking what the hell just happened? And all you can do is laugh because you're so astounded you don't know what else to do? That is exactly what's happening. And I'm glad Franco's in this with me; otherwise I would think I finally lost my mind.
When I stop laughing, I turn back to the audience. "We've got one more song," I say. "We're gonna kill the sun. I need help. I want you all to be as loud as you can and sing with me. Seriously, I want to wake neighboring states. That kind of fucking loud." I look down at Pax and smile. "This one's for you, Pax."
What happens next is five hundred people coming together. The volume is deafening. I think every person in the place is singing along with me. This is, by far, the best crowd of the tour yet, maybe ever. I stretch the guitar solo out to twice its normal length, because I don't want to say good-bye to this night. I'm living the song. Living what it stands for. Wishing I could kill the sun and just hold on to this moment.
The crowd, when we're done, cheers for a solid ten minutes. That's a lot of love.
The Bright Side posse meets us out back by the bus. I thank them all for coming and celebrating with us and say good-bye to each one. It's almost midnight, but our bus isn't leaving until noon. I begged Jim for some extra time here and he's giving it to me. We play Des Moines tomorrow night and it's only a couple hours' drive away.
After I thank Gustov again, I call him a cab and pre-pay to the airport so he can catch his redeye flight back home to Boston.
Keller hugs me last. "Great show, man. Really, I mean it. You guys are the best thing going out there. Katie would be so proud of you."
"Thanks for being here, dude."
He drops his car keys in my hand. "I'm catching a ride back with Dunc. Paxton's coming with us and crashing at my place. I reserved you a room at the Hampton Inn here in Grant. I know you probably haven't had any time alone with Scout in a couple of months. You both need that. Tell her to just come to my place after she drops you off here in the morning. I'll get her and Paxton to the airport."
I'm looking at the keys in my hand and the generous friend standing in front of me. I don't know what to say. There's so much I want to tell him, but no words ... and no time. So I say, "Thank you, dude." And I mean it. God, do I mean it.
Scout's confused when we get in Keller's car alone, but she doesn't say anything.
She's even more confused when we arrive at the hotel. She's still not talking.
"Come on, sweetheart. Keller got us a room."
She smiles and it's reluctant hope. Almost like she's afraid to believe it's true, because she wants this so badly.
I check in and get the key card and we head to the room. She looks deep in thought.
Behind closed doors, she finally speaks up. "Gus?"
"Yeah?"
"I've learned a lot about life these past few months. Living life ... really living it ... is work. It's exhausting if you're doing it right. If you're out there making the most of every day. Every minute. Every second. Because out there in the middle of the chaos, that's where you find the beauty. That's where you find the reward. And watching you tonight, babe? It was beauty in the middle of chaos. So damn beautiful. I was in awe. It was incredible. I mean, you're always amazing, but tonight was special. Everyone felt it."
I smile to myself. "Fuck yeah, it is work. But that's where the beauty comes in. It manifests itself when effort's made. I'm in this, Girl Scout. Totally immersed in life now. Tonight was definitely different, like once-in-a-lifetime different. I'm so stoked you were there." I tip her head back so I can taste her lips. "And just so you know, you're my reward." The kissing escalates quickly, because I can't help myself. But after a few seconds I pull away. "I need to shower. I sweat like a fiend tonight."
She smiles against my lips. "You're sexy sweaty."
Which makes me smile. "I'm sexier naked."
She helps me pull my T-shirt up and over my head. "True."
I reach for the hem of her T-shirt and return the favor. "Nice shirt," I say, before pulling it off.
She raises her eyebrows seductively. "They're good. I should probably tell you now that I've got a thing for the lead singer. I took off my panties and put them in my purse just hoping I'd run into him."
I unbutton and unzip her jeans and sure enough, no panties. "Shit. You mean, you've been freebuffing all day and I didn't know? Damn." I slide her jeans down her legs and she steps out of them.
She gives the answer that's become an inside joke between us. "I thought it would save time."
When I'm down to only my underwear and she's standing in front of me in only a sheer ivory bra, I stop and lace my fingers with hers and stare into her eyes. And I speak from my heart. "I love you."
"I love you, too, babe." Every time she calls me "babe" it takes my breath away.
"I want to go slow. I want to enjoy this. Can I just hold you for a few minutes before I get in the shower? I miss you."
I take her arms and wrap them around my neck. And when her body meets mine and her ear comes to rest against my collarbone, everything in the world just feels right. I rest my hands on her hips first, because I just want to touch her. My palms are warm against her skin. The scars on her right side are a different sensation than the smooth skin on her left, but I love them both. It only takes seconds before the smooth skin gives way to goosebumps, and it makes me smile because I know she's not cold; she's reacting to my touch. My hands start their journey to the base of her spine. Once there, my fingertips trace the curve of her ass and she shivers against me. My palms find themselves flat against her skin again and they make their way up her back. When the tips of my fingers meet resistance, I stop. They're brushing the fabric of her bra. I ball my fists and take a deep breath fighting the urge to unclasp it just yet. Unfurling my fingers I glide them under the thin straps and continue upward toward her shoulder blades. I'm restrained by the strap to any further travel north, so I head back down south dragging my palms with added pressure along the way. She's all lean muscle covered by a thin, womanly layer of softness. I rub my hand slowly back and forth across the scarring on her right side, lightly at first but with added intensity as she relaxes into me. I'm trying to show her that every part of her is perfect, without saying a word.