"Well hello, Miss Stella." All the tension drains out of me.
"Who is this?" she asks, like she's screening his calls.
"This is Gus. Do you remember me, Stella?"
She yells, "Daddy, Gus is on the phone!" And then at normal volume, she says, "Daddy's in the bathroom. He's just goin' poop."
I laugh and it feels so damn good. "Ah, well, a man's gotta do that every once in a while. How are you doin' Stella?"
"Good. I go to pre-school, Gus. My teacher's name is Miss Cooper. She's nice, but she smells like apricot jelly. I don't like apricot jelly. My papa in Chicago likes it though. He puts it on toast."
This makes me laugh some more. I love little kids; every damn thing that comes out of their mouths is innocent and unfiltered. "How's your turtle?"
Her voice brightens. "Miss Higgins is good. She loves Minnesota." She pauses and I can hear Keller in the background talking to her. "Just a minute, Daddy. I'm not done talking to Gus." And then she's talking to me again. "Are you in California with your mommy, Gus?"
"I am. It's nice and sunny here. You should come out and visit, Stella."
She's talking to Keller now. "Gus says I should come out and visit him in California. Can I go? Pleeeeeease."
I can faintly hear Keller now, trying to coax her. "Let me talk it over with Gus, baby girl, and I'll let you know. Can I have the phone please?"
"Just a minute, Daddy, I need to say bye." And then she's back to me. "Daddy needs to talk to you, Gus. Bye."
"Bye, Stella. Tell Miss Higgins hi."
"Okay."
Keller sounds a little tentative, but slightly amused, when he gets on the line. "Hey, Gus. Thanks for letting Stella entertain you for a few minutes."
"Yeah, she told me you were in the john building a log cabin."
He snorts out a laugh and it sounds relieved and embarrassed, like he's as happy as I am that this conversation is easy so far. "Please tell me my little girl did not use those exact words."
"Nah, she said you were in the bathroom goin' poop."
He sighs. "God, that's really not any better, is it?"
And just like that we're both relaxed. "She's awesome, Keller."
"Yeah, she is awesome. I have to admit I'm almost completely desensitized to any kind of embarrassment at this point. Little kids' honesty hardens you, man. There's nowhere to hide and it comes out at the most inopportune times."
I smile, because he sounds good. "You can't go wrong with straight-up honesty."
"So, what have you been up to, Gus? I think about you all the time and I have every intention to call, and then I have homework, or work, or Stella's ballet practice. Something always comes up. I'm sorry we haven't talked." He means it.
"No worries. I'm in the same good intention boat. That's kinda why I'm calling. Ma and I were just talking and wondered if you and Stella had plans for Thanksgiving this year? I thought maybe we could rekindle the bromance in San Diego." Last year I surprised Bright Side in Minnesota for Thanksgiving, with Keller's help. He called me and planned it all. I teased her that I was stealing her man away.
"The sacred bromance." He stops and laughs again remembering. "Damn, that's tempting. You're a good-looking guy." He hasn't lost his sense of humor. I'm glad. "But, I think Stella and I are just going to hang out here in Grant. My father might come up if he can get some time off."
I try again. "You should come out. If this is about money, I've got it covered."
"Gus, man, that's really nice of you to offer, but I can't accept that."
"Sure, you can. You just say, 'Yeah, Gus, we'd love to spend Thanksgiving with you and your mom. That sounds like a righteous fucking way to spend the holiday.' It's as easy as that. And then you tell me what time you can fly out and when you have to be home, and you let me take care of the rest." I don't know why, but I need him to give this to me. I need to see him and Stella to help me deal.
"Gus, it's too much. I just can't."
I sigh. "What if I told you you're gonna make Ma cry if she can't see Stella? Like, to the point of goddamn sobbing. I'm not kidding, she'll throw a full-on shit fit. It'll be ugly, dude. I'll be forced to record it and send the video to you. You'll probably feel guilty for the rest of your days. The brutal type of soul-searing guilt."
He's quiet. I can tell he's about to give in.
"C'mon dude. We really want to see you guys." It's as sincere as I can possibly be.
He sighs. "We're not going unless you let me pay you back someday."
I smile because I would never accept his money. "Sure, whatever you want."
He sighs again. "You're really sure you want to do this? It's going to be expensive."
"Don't have anything else to spend my money on, dude." I don't.
He's quiet and then he gives in. "Okay. We'd really like that. I could use a break for a few days." He sounds exhausted all of a sudden.
"Excellent. Text me times that work for your flights and I'll make it happen."
"Thanks, Gus."
No, thank you. "It'll be great to see you guys."
"Later, man."
"Later."
I don't know why, but I feel like a goddamn weight's been lifted off my shoulders.
Monday, November 27
(Gus)
It's cold out this morning, so I'm walking along the beach instead of surfing. The text alert comes from the phone in my pocket.
KELLER: I just saw the email, thanks for the airline tickets. My father called this morning and said he got a few days off. Not to throw a wrench in the works, but do you think Audrey would mind if he came out to San Diego, too? I don't want to put you guys out.