She'd gotten stuck in a loop once; she'd walked out the front door of her parents' house, tried to navigate her way through the fog, had come up against a door, and then went through it only to find herself walking into her parents' kitchen. So she'd walked on through and went out the front door once more. Same thing happened again, over and over. For what felt like an eternity. She'd finally hidden in the closet in her room, banging her head against the wall for hours.
When she'd finally gotten up the courage to try again, opening her front door led directly into the castle ballroom. Jones had been sitting on the stairs, acting for all the world as if he'd just been waiting for her to find him. There was no rhyme or reason to anything.
They never went anywhere, not really, but in a strange way Jones seemed to be guiding her. He wouldn't answer her questions, but he encouraged her to ask them. Encouraged her to push her boundaries.
He also talked about her life. Asked endless questions about her brothers, her parents. Her friends. She had trouble sometimes recalling faces or exact facts, but Jones always told her it didn't matter – it was good enough that she was remembering. He told her to concentrate on those memories if she ever felt lost or alone.
Two feelings that always ceased to exist when he was around.
I'm lost in eternity, falling in love with a man who might be an angel, and I don't know what's right anymore.
“God, this place is beautiful,” she sighed as she sat up.
They spent a lot of time in the poppy field. Adele had no control over where she ended up, or even when she left a place. They'd spent half a lifetime in the castle, once. All the doors had disappeared and no amount of blinking could get them out. Then she'd sneezed and boom, they'd suddenly been back in her parents' house.
On one side of the field, the poppies came to an end and gave way to a cliff. She climbed to her feet and moved towards the precipice. It was a great, dramatic, outcropping of rock, overlooking a ravine that eventually opened into a valley full of streams, and in the distance she could see the old castle.
Adele stood at the very edge of the cliff and took several deep breaths. Sometimes she thought of jumping. Wondered if anything would happen, if she could hurt herself.
Like Groundhog's Day, only worse? Or better. It's so hard to tell sometimes. No one ever warned me that eternity would be so confusing.
“Don't do it.”
Jones stepped into her peripheral. He didn't turn to look at her, just held out her sweater. She smiled and took it, slipping it on as a chilly breeze passed over them.
“I wasn't going to,” she sighed.
“It's a long way down.”
“I won't jump!”
They were silent for a moment, both staring out over the landscape. Then Jones heaved a big sigh and sat down, letting his legs dangle over the side of the cliff. She followed suit, sitting close to him.
“Adele,” he started in a low voice. While he spoke, he reached over and grabbed her hand, holding it tightly in his lap. “I think ... I think it's time for you to go home.”
She held her breath for a second and stared at him. Her heart was beating so fast, she swore she could hear it. Like it was all around them.
“I get to go home? You're letting me go?” she asked, getting excited.
But Jones didn't look excited. In fact, he was frowning.
“You're free to go whenever you want. But you have to go,” he stressed.
“I think we've been over this a few million times,” she laughed. “I don't know how to go home. I don't even know where I am.”
“I know, Adele. But ... do you see that? Next to me?”
Adele leaned back, then gasped. There was a huge tree on the other side of Jones. It certainly hadn't been there a few moments ago, and besides that, the landscape never changed. Not at the beach, not at the town, and certainly not here in their field. So where had it come from?
It was a huge magnolia tree. The biggest she'd ever seen, with bright pink flowers blossoming on its branches. Most of the tree was flat on the ground, but a portion of it was growing over the cliff's edge, the roots creeping down the side and burrowing into the rock face. They caused the body of the tree to slant and sway towards the edge.
“I never noticed it before, where did it come from?” she asked. “It's gorgeous.”
“It's been here for a while, and its roots are taking hold. Pretty soon, it'll be a permanent part of this cliff, stretching all the way to the bottom,” he explained.
“Oh. Well, at least it'll be pretty. A nice change from all the red,” she said, gesturing to the poppies behind them.
“No. It's not nice. It'll be here forever, do you understand? Just that tree, and this cliff, and those poppies,” he stressed.
“And us,” she added. But he didn't agree with her. Didn't nod or open his mouth or do anything. Just continued staring at her.
Maybe that tree isn't so gorgeous.
Adele abruptly pulled free of his grip and jumped up. Jones didn't move as quickly, instead slowly sliding away from the cliff before climbing to his feet.
“Are you okay?” he asked. She shook her head.
“No. But that doesn't really matter. I never asked before, but why me? You said helping people is your job, you mentioned coworkers, but I never see them – are you the only one?” Adele questioned him.
“No, there's others.”
“How did you get assigned to me?”
“Luck of the draw.”
“Really?”
“It's as good a guess as any.”
She frowned. She'd come to believe that she and Jones had been meant to find each other. She felt such a deep connection to him – how could she not after several eternities together? He was the only one who knew the real her, saw the real her, anymore. So she refused to believe they'd ended up together by some lucky chance.
No, surely it had been fate.
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
She hadn't even thought the question in her head, it had just sprung out of her mouth fully formed. Adele cringed at how ridiculous she sounded, but from behind her, Jones let out a laugh.
“No. Why? You want to go on a date with me?” he teased.
“Well, you are literally the last man on earth to me,” she pointed out.
“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.”
She finally turned around to face him. He was standing closer than she'd realized, almost directly behind her. She frowned, then reached out and grabbed ahold of his hand.
“If I do go home,” she spoke slowly. “Will I ever see you again?”
“Adele, you can't worry -”
“Will I ever see you again?”
There was a heavy silence, then Jones closed the small gap between them. His hand moved to the side of her face, his palm warm against her cheek. He'd never touched her so intimately before, it was like a shock to her system.
How many lifetimes had she spent in this limbo, never experiencing any sort of intimacy? How could she have forgotten what touching felt like? What caresses and affection did for the human spirit? And surely they hadn't ever felt like this before – like their souls were moving back and forth between their skin. Like they were one person, and she was just now realizing it for the first time. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, fell into his love.
“That's not for us to decide,” he whispered. “Just know that while you were here, you were never alone.”
“I always feel alone,” she whispered back.
“No. Don't say that. I wish ... I wish things were different, Adele. You're very special to me. I don't know why, and I don't know what it means, but ... you are so special.”
She didn't know what it meant, either. She didn't know what anything meant, anymore, and she hadn't for a long time. Her life was gone and she was stuck in purgatory with some man she'd never met before; a man whom she was pretty sure was her soulmate. She didn't know what the rules were, and she didn't know how to keep going.
How do you keep going forward when there's nothing ahead of you?
Adele finally opened her eyes and stared at Jones. He was a lot taller than her, she had to tilt her head back to look him in the eye. It kinda felt like she was standing under the magnolia tree – basking in his shade and his strength. She wanted to hold onto him, wanted to wrap around him so tightly she'd never be able to let go. And then she wouldn't have to worry about where she was going anymore. She could finally just be in the now with him.
I'm so tired of being scared.
And with that thought, Adele turned away from him and took a running jump off the side of the cliff.
10
Spend enough time anywhere, and a person will eventually learn the ropes. Even in a place where rules didn't exist, and the laws of reason and logic were openly defied, order could be found.
Adele started getting better at controlling when she was able to go. Sometimes it was as easy as having a passing thought. Other times, she had to really concentrate. But falling always worked the best.
When she'd jumped off the cliff, she'd landed on her bed in her room. So she'd kicked out the railing at the top of the stairs and after a test leap, she'd discovered that simply stepping off the second story of her home would send her to Old Town.
She'd noticed Jones had a tendency to leave her alone when she was in her parents' home. Giving her privacy, she assumed. But if she went out and about, he would always pop up. Now that she could somewhat control where she was going, it all became like a game to her, to see how long she could stay ahead of him before he found her.
Jones didn't find it very funny, though, and eventually he turned the tables on her. One day, after she'd spent what felt like hours on the endless beach, she'd started to cry. What if he never came back? She wasn't sure if she could remember how to function without his presence. There was endless time and there was him, and that was it. That was her universe.