He put his hands on the top of his car, taking in deep breaths as he tried to calm down. It sucked looking into a mirror and seeing who he really was. And while he’d been sneaking judgmental glances for about a year now, it felt as if he’d just stepped in front of a full-length mirror.
Garrett Lowry was a dick.
Yet, dick or not, he still wanted Blair. He knew that with even more certainty now than he had six years ago, when he first asked her out for pizza on a cold February night in Columbia, Missouri. Maybe he didn’t deserve her, but he wanted her nonetheless. He still had no idea what, if anything, to do about it. And then he did.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called his sister as he drove to his hotel, which was only a few blocks away.
“Garrett! Why are you calling me at this time of day?”
“Hey, Kelsey. Got time to talk?”
“Yeah, the baby’s down for a nap.”
“I’m stuck in Kansas City at Mealy Neily’s wedding.”
“I heard Nana Ruby suckered you into being a groomsman. I’m still not coming down until the rehearsal, so you’re on your own.” She laughed. “And I forgot about that nickname. I haven’t seen him in years. I take it that it still fits?”
“More than ever.”
“Well, I suspect you didn’t call to gossip about Neil, so what’s up?”
“You remember that woman I dated in law school?”
“Blair.” Her tone turned serious. “You haven’t mentioned her since you were a freaking idiot and broke up with her. What about her?”
“She’s here.”
“She’s in the wedding party?”
“She’s the bride.”
She was silent for several seconds. “Oh, Garrett. I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not sure I can do this, Kels.”
“Why?”
“Why?” he repeated. “Because she’s my ex.”
“Cut the bullshit, Garrett. You and I both know the reason you called me instead of one of your douchebag friends is because you want the truth. Just say it.”
Fear coursed through his blood. “Say what?”
“Bye.”
“Wait! Okay.” He took a breath. “I still love her. I’ve never stopped loving her. I was a fucking idiot to break up with her. I was an even bigger fucking idiot when I didn’t go to her on hands and knees years ago and apologize for being a fucking idiot.”
“Now we’re getting somewhere.” He heard the smile in her voice.
“Look, I’ve already had enough humiliation in one day without my sister adding to it.”
“What else has happened to my wittle baby bwother today?” she said in a baby voice. She had never been one to cut him slack.
“If I’m going to seek advice from you, then that last question will have to be stricken from the record. Otherwise I’ll never be able to take you seriously.”
She laughed.
“When I told my firm I had to come to K.C. for the wedding, they asked me to handle the depositions for one of our associates’ cases.”
“Oh, God. She’s the opposing counsel.”
He’d always known she was smart, which was one of the reasons he’d called her for advice. “And she’s fried my ass for two days now.”
“I bet she’s loving every minute of that.” She sounded pleased.
“Whose side are you on?” he asked.
“Yours, but you have to admit she’s completely entitled to hand you a slice or two of humble pie.”
He pulled into his hotel parking lot and put the car into park. “What should I do, Kels?”
“Take it like a man. Don’t be like Mealy Neily.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
She was quiet again. “Is she happy, Garrett? I know it’s difficult for either one of us to imagine someone being happy with him, but what if she is? Do you really want to take that from her too?”
“No, and I’ve already considered that. I have to go to this pre-wedding party they’re having for family and friends tomorrow night, so I was hoping to talk to her before then. Looks like we have another deposition in the morning. Maybe I can catch her after that.”
“You really want to wait that long?”
“I don’t know when to talk to her, Kels. I finally got her alone for a few minutes yesterday, and I completely froze up.”
“Mr. Smooth froze up? You’ve got it bad.”
“Look, I know I do,” he said, getting frustrated. “I’m asking for your advice on how to get her back.”
“Okay, okay.” Her tone was soft and soothing. “I’ll help you.”
“Thank you.”
“First you have to accept that just because you want her back doesn’t mean she feels the same. And since we are no longer ruled by caveman philosophy, you’ll have to deal with that.”
“I know, but I think she still cares about me.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I ran into her in a hotel bar in Phoenix on Monday night. We were both stranded there because of the weather. She was drunk . . . and she rarely got drunk when we were together. Only when she was really upset. In any case, they didn’t have a room for her, so I let her sleep in mine.”
“Oh, Garrett. You didn’t.” Disappointment was heavy in her voice.