“It really is. That and practice.” She sat down next to me and served herself.
I took a bite and moaned. “Well, feel free to practice on me any time you like.”
She laughed, and I noted the difference between Cam tonight and Cam that morning. She was relaxed, cheeks flushed with what seemed to be general happiness, when the last time I’d seen her, she’d been much more subdued.
“How’d it go today? Did you talk to Bayleigh?”
She nodded as she chewed, pulling one knee up. “Yeah, and Rose and Martin, too. It went well, or as well as it could have. Even Martin was gracious about it.”
“He was probably just happy to have your blessing. You did give them your blessing, didn’t you?”
“I did, and gladly.” She sighed. “So, yeah. All’s forgiven, and I’m really happy for Bayleigh and Martin. They’re sweet together. I guess he took her home last night.”
I nodded, smiling. “Well, all right, Martin.”
“And after work, I went shopping with Rose and her friend Lily.”
I squinted, trying to remember. “The tall blonde or the short one?”
“The tall one. Ballerina.”
“Right. How’d it go?”
“It was mostly a nightmare, but there was just that moment when I put on the dress and time stopped or something. I definitely get why people shop when they’re depressed.”
“And you got heels?”
She poked at her food and shook her head. “Yeah. I’m not gonna lie, I’m scared to death. They’re pretty high, but the heel isn’t a stiletto, and there’s a platform. I’m only partially sure what that means, but apparently it’s supposed to help me not fall down. Because not only would falling down be embarrassing, but my dress is short enough that the entire party would see my vag.”
“Okay, you’re definitely hanging onto me then. Nobody gets to see your vag except me.”
She smirked. “How about you? How Kyle was Kyle? Like, drunk twins Kyle or Kyle trying to read scary books that bite?”
“Worse than either.”
She frowned. “Wow. What’d he do?”
I almost admitted it to her without thinking, not used to keeping secrets from her, but I caught myself. “He was trying to be my wingman and mouthed off when I told him I wasn’t interested in browsing.”
“Oh.” I couldn’t read her face.
I took another bite, trying to make light of the whole thing. “I dunno, Cam. I don’t want to hang out with him anymore — I feel like I’ve let the whole thing go on long enough.”
“Well, you don’t have to hang out with him if you don’t want to. It’s the beauty of being a grown up. That and beer.”
“And no bedtime,” I added. “Or school.”
She laughed. “I love school. And learning.”
“Not me,” I said with the shake of my head. “The pressure was too much.”
She snorted. “Says the guy who played ball at Nebraska.”
I shrugged. “That was different, you know? Simpler. I knew what I was doing on the field. Everything else is … complicated.”
“Do you miss it?” she asked quietly.
“Every day,” I answered.
“What do you remember? Like, what do you think about?”
I swallowed, considering the question. “Everything. The smell of the turf, the sweat, the adrenaline. The sound of pads and helmets clashing, the feeling of the football in my hands. The feeling of taking somebody down by sheer will and strength. It was my life for so long. Part of me wonders if I’ll ever look back on that time of my life without longing.”
“Well,” she said gently, “I think it’s good to remember. It’s part of who you are. You lived those moments, and as long as you remember, then it’s not lost.”
I leaned over, heart aching as I pressed my lips to hers in thanks and adoration.
When we finished eating a little while later, I sat back in my chair, contemplating seconds. But that was another thing I missed — the calories burned playing ball. It didn’t take long to learn that I couldn’t eat hamburgers and fried chicken every night for dinner when I wasn’t burning two thousand calories a day.
I picked up our bowls, and she moved to stop me. “I’ll get that.”
“Nope.” I didn’t stop moving. “You cooked, I clean. That’s the deal.”
She smiled up at me. “Thanks.”
“Thanks for cooking something so epic.” I set the bowls in the sink and turned on the faucet. “What do you want to do tonight?”
She stretched in her seat. “I dunno. I’m off tomorrow, so I don’t need to get to sleep early. Probably just read.”
I smiled at my hands as they washed the cheese out of a bowl. “I’m in.”
“Oh?”
“I’ve got to find out what happens to Bilbo. He just met Golem.”
“Ooh. That’s one of my favorite parts. All right. Reading it is.” She stood and picked up the casserole dish, moving it to the counter before digging out a plastic container to store it in. “Mmm. This is going to make a solid lunch tomorrow.”
“It should. I’m pretty sure Jack would commit a felony for this once he smelled it.”
“You should take some to work for Jack too. There’s plenty to share.”