I shrugged and set down my bag. “Aren’t I always chipper in the mornings?”
“Maddeningly, yes. But you’re extra-special chipper this morning.”
“Well, it’s a fine morning, wouldn’t you say?”
Her suspicion deepened. “Seriously, what’s this all about?” She motioned to all of me.
I smiled. “I maybe hung out with Tyler all weekend.”
She still looked confused. “What do you mean? You always hang out with Tyler all weekend.” Then it dawned on her. “Oh. Oh, you hung out with him?”
I giggled like a teenager. “I mean, he didn’t hang out. Or in. Or, I mean, we didn’t—”
Rose snorted. “Yeah, I get it. Now, spill the details.”
I pulled out the chair at my desk, which faced hers. “Well, I set him up on a date with Adrienne—”
“Hot Catwoman?”
“Yeah. And when he left, I ate a gallon of ice cream and regretted it completely.”
“The ice cream or the date?”
“The date. The ice cream was a blessing. But he came home early and kissed me.”
“Just like that?” she asked, disbelieving. “He just opened the door and marched up to you and kissed you?”
I wrinkled my nose, but I was smiling. “No. I maybe told him I wanted him to.”
She laughed. “Oh, my God.”
“I just blurted it out like a crazy person, and then he marched up to me and kissed me. We spent all that night and yesterday and last night together.”
Her brow was up again. “And you didn’t hook up? How is that possible? Tyler is a lot of man. I don’t know if I would have been able to resist.”
“Trust me, it wasn’t exactly easy. I’m a little worried about that too, the size of the man. I have genuine concern for the well-being of my vag.”
“Your vag can handle more than you think.”
“Maybe. Can you bruise your cervix?”
She laughed. “I don’t know. Google it.”
I opened my laptop, curious, typing in the search. “Ugh. Yes. Shit.”
Her smile fell. “Seriously?”
I turned the computer to face her and held a hand out in display. Her face wrinkled up as she read.
“Ouch. There’s nothing you can do about it either.”
I sat back in my chair. “Yeah, can’t exactly ice that.”
“I mean, you could …”
Now my face wrinkled up.
She was still reading, and she leaned a little closer to the screen. “Oh, my God. Did you know your vagina gets longer when you’re turned on?”
My jaw hung open. “Get the fuck out.”
“No, apparently that’s for real. Look.” She turned the laptop so we could both see.
I read through. “Holy fucking shit. So he can’t just go ram his rod in there.”
“Well, I hope he doesn’t do that anyway.”
“Me too. It also says it’s lower before your period. What the fuck, it’s like an accordion.”
She laughed. “Or a slinky.”
“Ew.”
Rose shook her head. “So you slept in the same bed?”
I sighed and closed my computer. “Yeah. We just kissed. Like, for hours.”
“He didn’t even get to second base?”
“Nope, because if there were base action, it would have ended up in at least a triple. We’re holding out. I’m not quite ready for that … I mean, he’s still my roommate. Not that I’m trying to wait like a month or anything, but I want to make sure we’re smart about things before we just go banging.”
She nodded, appeased. “Fair enough.”
“Plus, he’s got to be the best cuddler in the world. Like, he’s just so big.”
Rose laughed. “He really is huge.”
I sighed and rocked my office chair back and forth. “I dunno. He didn’t pressure me and I was okay with that. I don’t think I’ll hold out long though.”
“I wouldn’t fault you for caving.” She smirked at me and shook her head. “You and Tyler. I mean, I hate to say ‘Finally!’ but seriously, Cam. You guys have been circling each other for as long as I’ve known you.”
I shook my head. “I didn’t see it that way at all. I didn’t think he could ever want someone like me. He was just my buddy from the start. My really hot buddy who was too sexy for his shirt.”
“So sexy it hurts.” She laughed. “I’m not as attracted to the good boys, but for you, he’s kinda perfect.”
You’re the last person he’d date. I pushed Kyle’s voice away, touching Tyler’s bracelet to remind me of his words from this morning. But it was too late. My smile had fallen, and Rose’s did too.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I don’t know. It’s just weird, you know? He’s a filet mignon, and I’m tofu. We don’t really make a meal that’s not laughable.”
“I think he’s like peanut butter and you’re like jelly. Why do you focus so much on your differences?”
I huffed. “Because people work based on their commonalities, not their differences.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “Some people would say that they work based on elements you can’t control.”
“Well, those people are dumb. It’s chemistry and math. People are like pegs and holes.”