“We’d better talk,” Lacey said. “I hear you’ve lost your mind.”
She took a breath. “Not at all, honey. Do you have some time now? I can drive over. Or we can meet somewhere.”
“There’s no one here at the moment,” Lacey said. “Come right now and we can get this misunderstanding handled.”
CHAPTER SIX
All the way to Lacey’s apartment, Lauren’s stomach was in a knot. It was a familiar feeling. She’d spent most of the last twenty-four years with a tight stomach thanks to Brad. She was kind of amazed she hadn’t worked it into an ulcer, swallowing her feelings like she did.
Lacey lived with a roommate in a quaint little apartment in the Menlo Park area, close to Stanford. It was ridiculously expensive, very upscale, which had always been important to Lacey. But, like Cassie’s, it was solid and safe and comfortable. She wondered how Lacey would manage when she was finally on her own. She’d never really worked. She’d had token jobs that didn’t interfere with her life too much but she’d never had to struggle.
When Lauren arrived, Lacey had candles lit, though the summer sun was still up. She was sitting at her small kitchen table, drinking a glass of wine.
“Hi, honey,” she said, kissing Lacey’s cheek.
“Midlife crisis?” Lacey asked acerbically.
Lauren sat down across from her daughter. “No, Lacey. This is something that has to be done and I’m sorry to say, it’s long overdue.”
“There’s wine chilled. Help yourself if you like while we sort this out.”
“No, thanks. I don’t think there’s much to sort out. I’ve moved out. I rented a small house in Alameda.”
Lacey looked shocked beyond belief. “You didn’t go to Aunt Beth’s?”
She hesitated. How much to tell her daughters was the big question. She didn’t have any intention of persecuting Brad but neither did she want to carry the whole load. She settled on trying to get by with telling Lacey what she already knew. Or should have known if she’d been paying attention. “I didn’t want to do that again. I’m able to take care of myself. And sometimes too many opinions only makes things worse.”
“You’ve been planning this?”
Lauren sighed. “Remember when I took you and Cassie to Aunt Beth’s? You were so young then. It was very spur-of-the-moment. I hadn’t planned it or thought it through but there was something that just put me over the edge. It was psychological abuse, emotional abuse. Your father was on a tear and I couldn’t take it—”
“But we know he gets like that,” Lacey said. “The life-and-death pressure he’s under...”
“There’s no excuse for abuse, Lacey. But when I thought I could break away, he threatened me and blackmailed me. I tried to fight back but it was pretty well established I was no match for him and so we went back. You begged to go back. Aunt Beth’s was small, crowded and chaotic.”
“What do you mean he threatened you?” Lacey said derisively. “Aren’t you a big enough girl to weather his little tantrums?”
Oh, how Lauren wanted to show her daughter the bruises on her upper arms from being pinched! They went away but there were still discolored spots here and there. Brad always blamed her, her behavior, when he lost his temper or treated her badly. “I always took the brunt of it to spare you girls. And I always hoped he’d mellow over time. But he threatened to do everything in his power to take you from me. Later, he refused to pay tuition for you. He said he could be forced to pay child support until a child was eighteen but not after. I talked to a lawyer who told me there would be a settlement and it was highly possible arrangements for tuition could be part of the settlement. At least half of the tuition. Your father does not fight fair, Lacey. He fights to win. I took you back. I weathered his little tantrums, as you call them. I didn’t want him to punish you girls.”
“And now?”
“I’m done,” she said. “I’ve done all I can do.”
Lacey got tears in her eyes. “What did you expect? You moved out of your bedroom! Don’t pretend this isn’t your fault!”
“He cheated on me!” she blurted.
“No,” Lacey said. “No, he didn’t.”
Lauren rubbed the bridge of her nose. One of many things she hadn’t wanted to dump on her daughters. But, she was sure they’d known. She and Brad had fought so much about it. “He did,” she said. “More than once, and he denies it.”
“You’re just being dramatic!” Lacey said. “You’ve always been like that.”
Lauren heard Brad’s voice saying those words and lost her composure. “He gave me an STD! There’s only one way to get it and I’ve only had one partner in my life.”
Lacey clearly didn’t know what to say. “Well, is he sorry?” she asked, at a loss.
“No! He won’t admit it. Come on, you know how stubborn he can be. And he’s always right, no matter what. You lived in our home. You know how often he belittled me, humiliated me, shouted at me! He accuses me of pushing his buttons, forcing him to behave badly. Do I really need to tell you that’s not true? And even if it were, that’s no excuse. Lacey, I’m almost fifty. I can’t take it anymore! I know that makes you unhappy, but—”
“You have to try harder,” Lacey said.
“I’m sorry, but no. I’ve given him all I have to give.”
“But what about the things we’ve planned?” she asked. “What about my wedding?”
Lauren was momentarily gobsmacked. “Are you and Sean getting serious?”
“Not really, but I will get married someday. What’s my wedding going to be like with you and Daddy hating each other? No family times with all of us together? What about when I have my first baby? Do I have to take turns between you and Daddy? And decide who gets to hold him first?”
“You’re kidding me, right?” Lauren said.
“Of course I’m not kidding!” she said, tears running down her cheeks. “You just can’t do this to me. We have a family. For better or worse, right?”
Lauren leaned closer so she could look into her daughter’s eyes. “You would have me stay in a place where I’m painfully unhappy so you can pretend to have a perfect wedding?”
“Well, you married him, not me!” She turned and grabbed a tissue and began crying in earnest. “You can’t just change everything because you’re not getting your way!”
“Not getting my way?” she asked. “Oh Lacey, can you really be that heartless?”
“Me? I’m not the one walking out on the man I promised to love and honor!”
“Lacey, he made those promises, too. And he never kept them. At first I thought I could fix it, our marriage. Then I thought I could live with it until you girls were a little older. Then I thought I could take it until you were through with high school. Then college. Would you really ask me to sacrifice the rest of my life so you can have a fairy-tale wedding to some completely unknown groom?”
“It’s more than that and you know it!”
“Is it? Oh right, who gets to hold the baby first...”
“If you leave Daddy and ruin my family, I will never forgive you!”
Lauren felt the tears rise in her eyes. “That would be such a shame.” She got up and walked around the small table, bending to kiss the top of her daughter’s head. “I know this is hard for you and you need some time to absorb this. But it’s time I stand up for myself and do what’s right for me. I love you,” she said to Lacey as she walked out the door.
* * *
Lauren thought about going to Beth’s house for the night. Most of her things were still in Beth’s spare room, but in the next two days the furniture she’d ordered would be delivered and she’d move in completely. Right now there was only a couch in her new home but it would be comfortable enough for one night. She wanted company but did not want Beth and Chip to see her anguish. If she even saw her sister, she would tell about her conversation with Lacey and Beth would condemn her, pronounce her a spoiled brat.
She knew this would be hard. She had been terrified. She even feared Lacey wouldn’t be sympathetic or supportive. But she hadn’t predicted the cruelty of her words—the echo of Brad’s voice.
Surely she would come around in time...
She went to a little grocery market in Alameda, her new home. She wasn’t exactly hungry but she put a couple of wedges of cheese, a box of crackers and some fruit in her basket. Then she went to the wine case and picked out a nice bottle. There was a part of her that thought she might down the whole thing, but she knew she wouldn’t. The more sensible part of her thought too much wine would only make her cry, and was that such a good idea? She threw a corkscrew and one single knife in her basket.
“Kind of a long way from home, aren’t you?”
She turned abruptly, nearly dropping the basket, which Beau caught very deftly while hanging on to his own. “Did I startle you?” he asked.
“I was surprised at the sound of your voice,” she said. “You’re the last person I expected to run into here.”
“And the last person you expected to run into in a church garden or at a fund-raiser,” he said with a smile. “I live in the neighborhood. If I only need a couple of things, I like this market. If I need a lot, I hit a bigger, cheaper and more crowded store. But this is all fresh. All good.”
“You live around here?” she asked.
“Just a few blocks away,” he said. “Is this on your way home?”
“In a way. I’m renting a house nearby. Also in the neighborhood.”
“Seriously?” he asked, shocked.
She nodded. “This is my first night. Nothing in it but a couch. And soon there will be cheese, fruit and wine. Badly needed wine.”