“Mike, dinner isn’t going to change how I feel.” I’m positive that dinner would just make this whole thing more complicated, and it doesn’t need to be any more complicated.
“Will you please stop?” His hand wraps around my elbow as I start to open the front door. My head drops and I turn to face him. “Give me some time.”
My throat clogs and tears sting my nose at the pain I hear in his voice.
“I can’t. I’m sorry.” I shake my head again, pulling my elbow from his grasp before heading out to my car. I don’t want things to end like this, but there’s no way I can continue with the way things are going.
I quickly buckle up and start my car. I look up at the house one last time. Seeing Mike standing on the front porch makes me question my decision. Then I think about my life and what I want for myself and put my car in reverse, pulling my eyes from him and backing out of his driveway.
*
I look at the guy across from me and bite the inside of my cheek. I signed up for online dating three week ago and have gone out on two dates so far. This guy is better-looking than the last guy, but I just mean better-looking, not good-looking.
“I’ll be right back,” I tell Steve.
He nods, not even taking his eyes off the phone in his hand. I roll my eyes and stand up, grabbing my bag. As soon as I reach the restroom I step up in front of the sink and turn on the cool water, splashing some on my cheeks before looking at myself in the mirror. I told Mike that I didn’t want to be alone in five years and I need to date in order for that to happen, so that’s what I’ve been doing.
Mike has called a couple of times, and when he does reach out to me, I can’t help but pick up my phone. Call me weak if you want to, but I love him. He never says anything about hooking up again. He just asks how work’s going and if Brandon is doing okay. I try to keep the conversations short. My heart can only take so much.
After shaking the thoughts of Mike out of my head and pulling a couple of paper towels out of the dispenser, I dab my face, reminding myself that I just need to get through dinner. Then I can go home, have a glass of wine, and curl up in bed with some twenty-something hot guy with tattoos on my Kindle. I touch up my lip gloss, step out of the bathroom, and run right into a solid wall.
“Sorry,” I mumble, as warm hands wrap around my shoulders steadying me. A familiar smell surrounds me as my eyes travel up and meet a pair of warm, hazel eyes.
“Kat.” The sound of my name leaving his mouth has goose bumps breaking out across my skin and anxiety turning in my stomach.
“Mike.” I try to take a step back, but his hands hold me a little tighter as his eyes travel down my body, taking in my dress and heels.
“You look beautiful,” he says as his hands slide down my arms and his thumbs run over my bare skin. My stomach flips at the look in his eyes.
“Thanks.” I try to take a step back again, but he leans in, his nose running along my neck.
“You smell good, too.”
I take a shaky breath and close my eyes as his nose runs up my neck towards my ear.
“What are you doing here?” he asks, his lips brushing my lobe.
My hands come up to grip his shirt so I don’t fall on my face.
“Kathleen, are you okay?” Steve’s voice cuts in.
I let go of Mike immediately and take a step away from him. “I’m fine, Steve,” I say, taking another step back, trying to get my body back under control.
“Dinner’s just arrived at the table and I can’t eat until you get there,” he says, slightly annoyed.
I look from him to Mike and take a breath when I see the look on Mike’s face. “I’m coming now,” I tell Steve, who mumbles something before crossing his arms over his chest watching us.
I start down the hall towards him when he clears his throat. If the feeling of guilt weren’t running through me for what just happened, I would tell Steve where to shove it. When I reach the end of the hall, I feel eyes boring into my back. I turn my head to look over my shoulder and look at Mike.
“It was nice seeing you,” I tell Mike.
He doesn’t say anything. He just lifts his chin in my direction before looking over my head and glaring. I turn back around and head out to the dining room, following behind Steve. When we sit at the table, he looks at his food, grumbling under his breath about the temperature before he starts eating. Why the hell I needed to be here in order for him to eat is still confusing me as I start to cut up the ravioli that I ordered.
Suddenly, I feel eyes on me again, so I lift my head. My eyes lock on Mike’s from across the restaurant as he sits at the bar with a guy who I know is his brother. His hand, which is holding a beer, comes up in my direction before I lower my eyes to continue eating.
This date will go down as the second worst date of my life, and that’s second to the one I had a week ago with a computer programmer who thought he was God’s gift to women. Sadly, he reminded me of the aliens from Men In Black—the ones with the giant, beefed-up bodies and teeny tiny heads. Yeah, that was not a good time.
“I can’t believe that you were making out with someone while we’re on a date,” Steve says, catching me off guard and bringing me out of my thoughts.
Guilt turns my stomach at his words. My ex-husband cheated on me. He was having an affair for two years and I didn’t even find out until he was packing his stuff to move out. I begged him to work it out, but in the end, he chose his new girlfriend and her kids over my son and me. I hate cheaters, and even though I have no commitment to Steve, I still feel guilty for what happened with Mike.