My Kale. I felt my face flush but didn’t correct Daven. I looked up and saw he was right. Kale was walking up the left pathway that would lead him to the section where Kaden, my uncle and my aunt were buried.
“It’s really sad what happened to his kid. I can’t imagine what he must be going through.”
I liked that he said “going” instead of “went”. Daven knew that losing someone wasn’t a particular feeling that lasted for a certain amount of time; it was something you had to live with for the rest of your life. I looked from Kale to Daven when he cleared his throat.
“Give me your number,” he said, grinning, “so we can set up a playdate.”
I laughed again and called out my number to him, watching as he saved it into the contacts on his phone. He winked at me and then gave Lavender’s picture a kiss.
I heard him murmur, “Catch you later, babygirl.”
When he stood up, he wiggled his phone at me. “Speak to you soon.”
“I look forward to it,” I said.
Daven left then; as he walked down the pathway towards the cemetery exit, I switched my gaze to Kale. I found him standing in front of Kaden’s grave, his hands in his pockets as he stared down at the headstone. I wanted to go over to him, but I didn’t want to intrude. Instead, I sat back down on Lavender’s grave and smiled at her picture.
“You’re taking care of Daven, I see.” I shook my head. “I’m sorry I never saw what you did, but I’m seeing him now, and you were right: he is pretty fabulous.”
I chuckled and then sat in silence for a while, picking blades of grass out of the ground and cutting them with my nails. I was about to talk some more to Lavender when a shadow fell over me. I looked up and Kale was standing over me.
“Hey,” I said, smiling, and got to my feet, brushing my jeans down as I stood.
He nodded and joined me in looking down at Lavender’s grave. I frowned as I stared at the picture of my beautiful friend who was taken far too soon.
“I saw Daven Eanes over here with you,” Kale mentioned after a moment. “Did he give you any trouble? I know you never got on well with him.”
I chuckled. “It was fine. I think we actually just became friends. He was visiting Lav and found me here instead.”
“I see him here a lot,” Kale commented. “He brings her fresh flowers every week. Sometimes his wife and kids are with him, and they keep her headstone clean and the area around it nice and tidy. He’s pretty close to her parents too.”
That brought me a great deal of comfort.
I exhaled. “It’s insane to think he is married with kids. So many people that I went to school with are all moving forward and doing normal things people do when they grow up. They fall in love, get married and have kids. I feel stuck in time. Right now, I feel like I’m twenty again and just buried Lavender.”
“I feel like that every day, kid,” Kale sighed. “It’s been five years since my Kaden died, and it still feels like I just lowered him into the ground.”
My heart hurt for him.
“I hope it gets easier for you, Kale, I really do.”
He didn’t reply, but looked back to Lavender’s picture.
“She was one of the greatest people ever,” I said, smiling. “She came into my life right when I needed her; it was like she was my guardian angel. She helped save me from myself.”
I shivered when Kale’s arm slid around my waist.
“I’ll be forever grateful to her for that,” he murmured.
I looked up at him and sorrowfully smiled. “This hurts.”
“I know, darling.”
“Before anyone I knew had died, there was a time when I used to come here with my dad,” I mused. “We’d take a shortcut through here to get to the playing field through the hedges, and I remember thinking, even though I was little, that I wouldn’t like to say goodbye to anyone I loved. Now my aunt, uncle, friend and best friend’s son are buried here. I still can’t believe Lavender is gone, and I don’t think I’ll ever get over my uncle and Kaden.”
Kale kissed the crown of my head.
“Life throws curve balls at you, Laney Baby. There will always be something unexpected. We just have to pick up the pieces the ball smashes and try to put them back together.”
I frowned. “I’m not as strong as you, Kale.”
He turned me to face him. “Are you joking?”
I shook my head. “I’m a coward.”
He almost growled at me. “Don’t you ever say anything like that about yourself again. After all the shit you’ve been through, you’re still here, and that counts for something, Lane.”
I stared up at him, mesmerised that I was finally seeing some emotion in him.
“I met Drew when she was on her way out,” he commented. “She said you both spoke.”
I nodded. “I apologised to her for how awful I used to be, but she was adamant that I had nothing to be sorry for. She’s pretty great.”
“Yeah,” Kale agreed.
I glanced up at him. “She told me that you used to talk about me a lot, and that you used to have nightmares about—”
“The day I lost you.”
I frowned. “Kale, don’t do that to yourself.”
He tried to smile, but his lips never did fully curve. “I can’t help it.”
“Hey,” I murmured.
His whisky-coloured eyes roamed my face. “Yeah?”
I licked my dry lips and said, “I think it’s time we had our talk.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Day four in York
Explain this to me one more time,” Kale said as we entered his apartment. “Your uncle left you his entire estate, but under the condition that we . . . talk? Am I getting that correctly?”
Thank God it sounded just as insane to someone else.
I nodded. “Yeah, it was written in black and white. If we don’t talk, and we both know what talk he means – he worded it exactly like that – then his estate will be liquidated into a lump sum and donated to . . . to the Liverpool Football Club.”
A gasp of pure horror left Kale.
“That manipulative bastard,” he said, scowling.
I couldn’t help but laugh. Kale, like the rest of my family, was a hard-core Man United supporter.
“I just can’t believe he had to take such drastic measures. I hate that I made him feel like he had no other option. He probably thought if he asked me to talk to you that I would have cut him off like I did everyone else.”
My lower lip trembled as shame filled me.
“Hey now,” Kale murmured as he moved closer to me and placed his hands on my shoulders. “He knew you loved him, but he also knew you needed to figure everything out for yourself. We all did. Your brothers and parents just took it harder because they were caught in the crossfire of losing you.”
I nodded. “I know, but my decisions didn’t help anything.”
“Everyone makes mistakes, Lane. We learn from them and grow.”
I glanced up at him. “When did you become so wise?”
His lip quirked, and for a second I thought I spotted the familiar glint that once dwelt in his beautiful eyes. “I’ve done a lot of thinking over the years.”
I had no doubt about that. I had done a lot of thinking too.
There was a beautiful bookcase in the corner of the sitting room, and before I knew it, I found myself standing before it, brushing my fingers over the book spines in greeting. I loved books, and I loved that Kale still read them. I was about to turn away from the case when the name of an author caught my eye: K.T. Boone. She was an author I worked with. I scanned the other books and gasped.
“Kale,” I breathed.
I felt him come up beside me.
“You . . . you bought every book I have ever edited,” I whispered as my eyes scanned over the familiar titles.
Kale cleared his throat. “Like I wasn’t going to follow your work. You’re my best friend, and you have a kick-ass job. I’ve read them all. I had a book club in the making with your dad and Uncle Harry.” He chuckled. “You’re truly brilliant at what you do. I couldn’t find a fault in any of them. I love reading the author’s acknowledgements to you too. I’m so proud of you, kid.”
Don’t cry, I warned myself. Don’t you dare bloody cry.
“This is so sweet, Kale,” I said, clearing my throat when my voice dropped that octave.
“Speaking of sweet, you want a cup of tea?” Kale asked after a moment, and I appreciated the subject change.
I snorted. “Do you have to even ask?”
He grinned down at me and headed into the kitchen to put the kettle on. I followed him, and I glanced around as I walked, noticing how plain everything was. There were no pictures of Kaden anywhere, but I was too afraid to ask about it in case it upset Kale. I walked by him and moved to the large window over by his kitchen counter.
“Great view of the cathedral from here,” I commented.
Kale chuckled. “Why do you think I bought the place? For the generous-sized rooms?”
I noted his sarcasm and grinned.
“I like it,” I said. “It’s cosy.”
“It’s nothing compared to your new house. Harry’s place has five bedrooms.” Kale whistled. “What will you do with all that space? It’ll fetch a nice price for you, that’s for sure.”
I wasn’t surprised that he assumed I would be selling my uncle’s house; I’d been threatening to leave ever since I’d arrived.
“I’m not selling the house,” I casually said as I continued to look out the window, admiring the beauty of the town.
I felt Kale’s eyes on me. “What does that mean?” he asked in a low voice.
I shrugged. “It means I’m not selling. It’s my house, and I don’t want to sell it to someone else.”
Kale swallowed. “Will you lease it out and be a landlord?” he asked, grabbing at straws. “You’d get decent monthly rent for it.”