“So”—Dean reaches up and tucks some of my hair behind my ear, and I shudder on the inside—“I thought about you a lot over the summer.”
His lips lift at the corners into what I’m sure he thinks is a sexy smile. All it does is make me feel sick.
“Um, you did?” I don’t know what else to say. I know where he’s going with this, but I just want to get out of here as fast as possible.
Dean chuckles a low sound. “Because I like you, Morgan. And I was thinking”—he moves even closer—“that we should go upstairs and get to know each other a little better.”
“I, uh…” I’m sliding along the counter, beer in each hand, edging away. “I can’t. I, uh, I have to get back to my friend.”
His body turns, following mine. “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you didn’t go back straightaway.”
“No. I, um…I have to…get her drink to her.” I spin on my heel, sloshing beer over my hands, but I don’t stop. I get the hell out of that kitchen as soon as possible.
As the door shuts behind me, raucous laughter breaks out in the kitchen.
“Struck out with the fatty!” One of them laughs. “Looks like you’re gonna need that titty pic of Cross’s after all!”
And I die a little more on the inside.
I’m getting drunk.
I know, I know. I’m being stereotypical. A bunch of guys called me fat, and I’m getting drunk.
But, honestly, the more I drink, the less my insides hurt. So, drinking, it is.
Joely knew something was wrong when I came back from the kitchen, but I told her that I was fine. I know Joely. She would have gone and given Dean a piece of her mind. Then, she’d have suggested we leave the party and go grab some pizza, meaning she’d have left behind the cute guy who was clearly into her.
So, I smiled and told her I was fine and that she should go dance with the cute guy, who I now know is called Todd. It took a few times of persuading her until she finally relented.
So, while she’s been dancing with Todd, I’ve been knocking back the drinks. Well, I’ve only had three beers, but I’m a cheap date.
And a fat one apparently.
Can anyone say bitter?
Okay, so I’m super drunk now.
I’m on my…fifth beer. I think. It could be sixth. Who knows? All I know is, I’m buzzing, and I feel awesome!
Joely is currently on the sofa, making out with Todd, and I’m super happy for her.
Really, I am. I love Joely, and I want her to be happy.
And at least one of us is getting some.
She didn’t just leave me standing here alone though. She kept coming to check on me every so often. I told her I was going to leave the party if she came to check on me one more time. She got the hint and hit the sofa with Todd, and she’s been sucking face with him since.
I’ve not been standing here like a sad loner though. Hannah came to chat for a bit, and then she vanished again. I was talking to Andrea from my business enterprise class until her boyfriend turned up, and she disappeared off with him.
I laugh to myself, like the loser that I am.
My bladder squeezes.
Ugh, I need to pee. I haven’t been to the bathroom all night, and I’ve drunk about a gallon of beer. It’s surprising that my bladder hasn’t burst already.
I take the stairs, dodging the people sitting on them.
When I reach the landing, I walk down the hallway. There are, like, a hundred doors here.
Okay, not a hundred, but enough. And not one has a sign saying, Bathroom Here.
The last thing I want to do is walk into someone’s bedroom and see people going at it.
I pick a door and step close to it. I lean in, seeing if I can hear anything. There’s no noise, so I try the door. It opens, and no one is in there, but it’s a bedroom.
I shut the door and step close to the next door.
“Fuck yes! Right there, Benji! Right there!”
Benji?
My next-door neighbor back home has a dog called Benji. He’s a poodle.
And, now, I’m imagining that the Benji behind the door has hair like a poodle.
I snort and cover my mouth to catch the sound.
Yeppers, I’m totally drunk.
I stumble away from the door, chuckling to myself, and bump into the wall.
“Oh God, Wilder. You’re so good at that.”
I stiffen at the sound of the breathy female voice.
My head turns to the door next to me. It’s a little ajar, so I can hear them but not see them.
“You like that, huh?”
“God, yes,” she moans softly.
And I close my eyes against the hurt spilling into my chest.
Because I know that voice. Her voice.
Hannah.
“You’re gonna make me come,” Hannah whispers.
“That’s what I’m aiming for.” Wilder chuckles, deep and low.
She moans louder this time.
Then, there’s silence. The rustling of clothes.
I need to leave.
I’m standing out here, like a creeper. Someone could come out and see me. But I just can’t seem to make myself move. The betrayal is just too much.
“Wilder, you, um…you won’t tell Morgan what we just did, will you?”
“Morgan?”
“Morgan Stickford. She’s in some of your classes, same major.”
“I know who Morgan is. I’m just wondering why you think I’d tell her that you and I hooked up. We’re not exactly friends.”
“No, but she’s, um…well, she’s kind of a friend of mine.”
Kind of a friend? Nice, Hannah.
“And she, um…well, she…”
Don’t do it, Hannah. Don’t you fucking tell him.
“Well…she kind of…likes you.”
Wilder laughs loudly. The sound splinters into my chest.
“Morgan doesn’t like me.” He laughs again. “She can’t fucking stand me.”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re right,” Hannah says quickly. “I was thinking of someone else. I just can’t believe she doesn’t like you.”
Silence.
“I like you,” she says in that breathy voice again.
“Well, babe”—his voice sounds rough, raspy—“why don’t you get down on your knees and show me exactly how much you like me?”
Finally, my legs move. I stumble away, quickly heading for the stairs.
I rush out of the party. I don’t wait to tell Joely that I’m leaving. She’d know something was wrong, and I really don’t want to tell her what just happened. Because I know she’ll be furious with Hannah, and I don’t want to be the reason that they fall out. Also, we have to live with Hannah for the next year.
God, I have to live with Hannah for the next year.
What if she starts dating Wilder?
I shut my eyes and take a deep breath. I don’t want to think of that right now. I’ll deal with it if and when the time comes.
I pull my cell from my pocket and call for a cab. Then, I text Joely to say that I’m not feeling well and that I’m heading home.
I walk a little ways down the street, away from the party, and lean back against a wall of a neighboring house.
“Morgan doesn’t like me. She can’t fucking stand me.”
The sound of Wilder’s words and his laughter ricochet through my mind.
He thinks I don’t like him. He should think that because that’s what I spent the last year ensuring he would think.
And I was right to do so. Because he’s an asshole.
Hating Wilder is the only line of defense that I have left now.
Because I’ve been lying to myself for a long time.
I don’t have a crush on Wilder.
I’m in love with him.
And loving someone like Wilder Cross is pointless and a surefire way to get a broken heart for a girl like me.
If he hasn’t broken it already.
Morgan and I spent a few hours at the factory this morning with Niran, going over a few final details and signing some paperwork, and then we were done. Afterward, he insisted we use his driver for the rest of the day to go sightseeing.
So, Morgan and I are in Niran’s limousine with plenty of time for sightseeing.