Shoving him up against the wall, I’d kissed him until neither one of us could breathe. I kissed him like I didn’t care what people thought anymore, because right then, I didn’t. When those senior girls stumbled out of the bathroom a few minutes later, they huffed like I was confirming their conclusions.
The ironic thing about that night was that it was the first time Grant told me he loved me. It was the first time I said it back. If that made me a whore, then by god, I was good with being a whore.
My hand started trembling, so I set the picture back down before it fell and shattered. If Grant had moved on as much as he’d have me believe, why was he sitting in a room by himself, clutching an old picture of us?
My thumb brushed the picture. I longed for the past at the same time I never wanted anything to do with it. There were happy memories, but there were more unhappy ones. The bad ones outnumbered the goods ones by a hundred to one.
When I left the room, I kept the door open, just the way May had left all of the doors in her house. As I wandered through the rooms, I found them empty. Mostly. A few stragglers had fallen asleep on the couches, and a few more were still outside, chatting on the porch.
For as many people as had been here earlier, the house was in a fairly tidy state. A few empty pizzas containers and empty bottles were scattered around the tables, but no one had gone full-on party all over the place. It was almost like they knew better, even though May wasn’t around to remind us all to clean up after ourselves.
“Hey, you. I thought you’d disappeared on us all over again.” Cruz hip-checked me in the kitchen, his bowtie undone and his sleeves shoved up past his elbows.
I shook my head as I started to collect a pile of pizza boxes to throw away. “Just needed a few minutes.”
“Eh, try a few hours.” Cruz checked his flashy watch and tapped it. “You had me worried. Don’t disappear on us like that again, Ryan. For real. That would be a shit thing to do after coming back into our lives.”
The boxes I’d been piling up tumbled out of my arms. Before I could crouch to pick them up, Cruz was already there, sliding them into a big black garbage bag.
“I got this. I’m spending the night anyway, so get your beautiful butt out of here. But not before you give me your phone number and address and I have a chance to microchip you so that if you do disappear, I can track your ass down.” Cruz gave me a look as he continued to shuffle boxes into the bag.
“Yes, Mom,” I replied, pitching a few bottles into the garbage can. “I’ll leave it all on the notepad on the fridge. But if you microchip me, it will be your ass you need to worry about.”
Cruz’s chuckle echoed through the house as I scribbled down my information. I frowned when I examined what I’d written. My handwriting would barely pass third-grade penmanship.
The shuffling of garbage came to a standstill. “Did you and Grant get to talk?”
“Well, we saw each other, but I’m not sure what passed between us could be classified as talking.” My face pulled up as I relived the scene in the bedroom. “At least not constructive communication.”
“He’s hurt. Give him time, mama. He’ll come around.” Cruz said it like it was so simple, so obvious.
To me, there was nothing obvious about it. Was Grant still hurt? Or had he moved past it like he’d told me? Would he come around? After tonight’s ordeal, I didn’t think so.
“Are you sure you don’t need any help? I can stay a while longer,” I said, checking the time on my phone. No missed calls or texts from one of my old friends who’d done me a serious favor tonight—no missed anything from anyone. I’d keep checking it every few minutes though, just in case.
“I’m sure. Besides, Raoul’s getting off work soon and promised to stop by and help clean up, so I have to save something for him to make sure he means it.”
Poking my head out of the kitchen, I lifted my brows at him. “New boy-toy?”
Cruz grinned. He actually grinned. “New boyfriend.”
“Serious?” I asked.
“Most serious I’ve ever gotten.”
“I never thought I’d see the day that Cruz Sandoval got serious,” I said, shaking my head. The last I remembered of Cruz was him either getting into too many relationships or avoiding them altogether.
“Hey, that’s what happens when you disappear for almost a decade. Things change. People change.”
I stopped when I reached the front door. “Yes. They do change.” An image of the young Grant I remembered flashed to mind. He’d changed. But I guessed I’d changed even more. It was inevitable given my situation. “Want me to lock the door behind me?”
Cruz peaked a brow at me as he carried a handful of bottles to the garbage can. “The last time this door was locked was when Aunt May bought the house back in eighty-eight. I’m not about to break that open-door streak, are you?”
My fingers fell from the lock on the door handle. “Unlocked it is. Good night, Cruz. Thanks for letting the newest member of the Pariah Society hang with you.”
Cruz winked. “Anytime, cupcake. Anytime.”
After closing the door, I started for my car. Now that the adrenaline from the night had worn off, I felt exhausted. The kind that made taking one more step a feat of willpower and strength.
The streets were still quiet, and most of the cars that had been lined up and down the street were gone. A few were still staggered here and there, but The Clink was quiet for once. With the handful of stars just barely showing through the city lights and the hum from the streetlights, it was almost peaceful. Almost.