Then he broke my heart, and a few weeks after that, my ego shattered when he finished me off at a debate tournament.
That was devastating . . . and yet, at the same time, it wasn’t. But before I could linger on the ways my future shifted during the tumultuous end of my senior year of college, the present shifted, too. When Tyler opened his eyes and met mine, the expression in his was priceless. He blinked, then recognition flashed in those dark-brown irises.
He was clearly shocked to see me, and yet, he also seemed excited. Like he was gazing upon his favorite work of art. The way he stared at me almost made me think I was a regular attendee at his private one-man shows.
And if that was the case, the man could eat his heart out.
This time, I was going to have the words. All of them. All the hurt and sadness morphed into something beautiful and wholly necessary—the right words at the right time. “How’s the juggling working out for you now, Tyler?”
As I ran past him, he uttered a strangled string of words. “Great. I kept it up.”
“Evidently,” I said, locking my stare briefly with his pretty little girl.
I looked away, and I thanked the lucky stars that I finally had all I needed to eject him from the driver’s seat of my fantasy life. Even as he called my name, I kept running.
Leaving him far behind, where he belonged.
If I had to go on a Tyler starvation diet, I’d sign up right then. Because no way, no how, was I getting off anymore to a man who’d fathered someone else’s baby.
Good-bye, Tyler Nichols curse.
It ended today.
1
Delaney
* * *
I sink into the wooden chair at the mint-green table at our favorite sidewalk café and turn to my two closest friends—dark-haired Penny and redheaded Nicole. Penny leashes her little dog, Shortcake, to the leg of her chair, while Nicole ties up her Irish setter mix, Ruby.
“I can’t believe he has a kid,” I say, still in shock that Tyler had turned down the procreation path so quickly.
Penny shakes her head, surprise registering in her eyes. “He’s so young to have one, too.”
Nicole laughs as a busboy delivers a pitcher of water and four glasses. We’re regulars, and he knows our drill. Nicole thanks him as he pours. She offers a glass to her dog sprawled at her feet under the table. “Right,” Nicole says, her voice thick with sarcasm, as Ruby laps up the drink with loud slurps. “Because age has so much to do with his ability to deliver sperm to a waiting egg during one of the numerous times he let some loose from his body.”
She’s right, of course, and now I want to know all the details. “I wonder if he met her right after me? The kid looked, what, six? Seven? And we split eight years ago. Do you think it happened right away? After college? Before he went to law school? He barely even waited after he split up with me,” I say, dragging a hand through my ponytail as the questions tumble free in a rush. “I haven’t seen him or talked to him since we split. I didn’t even know he was in Manhattan.”
“And is he married now?” Penny asks. “I’m dying to know, since I saw the way he looked at you.”
I latch on to her words. “How did he look at me?”
She wiggles her eyebrows. “Like he liked your running shorts,” she says, in a salacious little whisper.
“Like he wanted to take them off,” Nicole adds, with a wink.
I wish their comments didn’t stir something inside me. Like my treasonous libido. I remind myself I can’t go there. I hold up both hands as stop signs. “He could be married, like Penny said.”
“Did you see a ring on his finger?” she asks.
“My X-ray vision is on the fritz these days,” I say, though I’m not sure how I can joke. A part of me is still embarrassed at the role he’s played in my nightlife. A part of me is furious, too. The man cast me aside clinically, claiming he needed to focus on law school, like I was simply a growth to slice off instead of a woman he wanted to find a way, come hell or high water, to stay with. Then, it turns out he found someone else and knocked her up. “Maybe the truth was he didn’t want to juggle me.” I swallow harshly. “Maybe I simply wasn’t the woman for him. Maybe I never meant to him what he meant to me.” I hate that my voice breaks the slightest bit. Tyler and I were in love. I shouldn’t feel a damn thing for him now, and I shouldn’t care that he’s created a life for himself that’s perfectly reasonable. Even though we had talked about a life together. We were hoping to have one after law school.
I draw a deep breath, needing to find my lost zen. This is what I encourage my clients to do—focus on the things they can control. Let go of the stresses in their days and find their happy place.
“We need to find out everything.” Penny jumps into her Nancy Drew role. She tucks her dark hair behind her ears and sits up straight. All-business Penny. “Let’s look him up on Facebook,” she says, counting off on one finger. “Find out who he married.” Another finger. “Figure out where he’s working.” One more. “And make voodoo dolls of him.”
If they only knew I was the one who needed to be voodooed.
“Look,” Nicole says, crossing her legs as she picks up a menu. “I know he looked at our girl like he wanted to have her for breakfast, but how about we order actual breakfast? How about we focus on eggs and coffee, instead of eggs and sperm? Besides, you love the eggs here, Delaney. You roll your eyes in happiness every time you eat them.”