The evening air is crisp, and I settle a woolly throw blanket over her lap. “Are you too cold? We can go inside, if you prefer.”
Shaking her head, she tugs the blanket around her. “It’s perfect out here,” she says, then takes a bite of pasta.
Neither of us seems to want to discuss the elephant in the room, the entire reason we’re working together—my upcoming nuptials. So we make small talk and stick to safe topics.
When we’re through with dinner, I stack our plates and set them aside, then bring out the chocolate truffles I purchased today and set them on top of the overturned basket.
“Cheers.” She touches her chocolate to mine, then pops it in her mouth.
“So, Camryn Palmer. Tell me, what is it that you’re looking for?”
She chews and swallows, taking her time savoring the bittersweet chocolate with caramel. “Ultimately, I’m looking for my lobster.”
My brows dart up at her unexpected response. “Your lobster?”
She laughs, a short, sharp chuckle that endears her to me even more. “It’s probably just a stupid myth, but haven’t you ever heard that lobsters mate for life?”
I shake my head. “I think someone fed you a load of shit there, love.”
“Oh, shush. Let me have my fantasies.”
“Fine.” I grin, amused that she’s looking for her lobster. “Carry on.”
“I’m looking for my forever. Someone to grow old with.”
Her dreamy smile quickly fades, and her expression turns to panic. “Oh God, I just told you that I’m looking for commitment. Feel free to run the other way now. Climb down the trellis if you need to.”
“You didn’t say I had to give you a commitment, you simply communicated what you were looking for,” I say, correcting her. “And a woman knowing what she wants has been, and will always be, quite sexy.”
She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth as naughty thoughts flash through my brain.
“I just want to keep this casual,” she says. “It’d be foolish to get wrapped up when we have so much going on.”
“Yes, of course. Casual would be best,” I say.
Camryn takes another sip of her wine. “Can I ask what was bothering you when I got here?”
Fighting through the tightness in my chest, I make the decision to let Camryn in. And while I’m not ready to share everything, I know she deserves to know. It’s something I never got around to telling Rebecca, even after eight months together.
Clearing my throat, I say, “My mum’s been in poor health lately. It’s been tough. And my uncle Charles is just worried, is all.”
“I’m sorry,” she offers, her voice soft. “I didn’t know.”
Nodding, I take another sip of wine. I haven’t opened up and told anyone about the seriousness of it, but the tender look in Camryn’s eyes makes me want to share a little more of myself with her.
“I’m all she has. My father left three years ago.”
“I see.” Camryn folds her hands in her lap and looks down at them. “My dad left when I was little.”
When she looks up to meet my eyes, I can see the pain and hurt his absence has caused. When someone that vital to your life disappears from it, it leaves a little hole behind. I know that firsthand.
We continue our discussion, moving from topic to topic, and unlike all the other women I’ve been with, my conversation with Camryn is real. We discuss our goals, more about our families, a little about work. We learn that neither of us has much contact with our dads, something unexpected that we share.
The pain and heartache that goes along with losing your dad isn’t something I’d wish on anyone, and the sadness lurking behind her gaze tells me she wishes this was one thing we didn’t have in common too.
“Let’s have another glass of wine,” I suggest.
“I’m game if you are.”
Chapter Fifteen
Camryn
Tonight has been more than I could have ever imagined. Anyone looking at my life from the outside may think I have it all. A great career? Check. A small, but close-knit group of girlfriends? Check.
But my reality is much different. I crave a true connection, a partner in life, someone who gets me and accepts me for who I am. My ex was none of those, and I fooled myself into believing I was having fun—living it up in my twenties with a sexy fling. But deep inside, I yearned for more.
And tonight, Sterling has unknowingly opened a huge gaping wound inside me. He’s made me feel special, planned something just for me. Showed me what it was like to spend an evening with a man interested in conversation just for the sake of getting to know me. I fear I’ll never be the same.
I haven’t dated, haven’t been out with anyone since David the Douche, and honestly, I’ve all but given up hope that good men actually exist. But if men like Sterling Quinn really do exist, then maybe the hunt for my lobster isn’t totally in vain. I still can’t believe I told him that. But he was so gracious and sweet about it, so I don’t regret it.
We’ve finished dinner and dessert, and now we’re lounging on the pillows outside, drinking a second glass of wine. My heart feels so full and conflicted, I’ve grown quiet in the past few minutes.
“You asked about my past.” Sterling looks out on the passing traffic below as he says this.
I’ve barely noticed the quiet hum and occasional car horn in the background, as we’ve been deep in conversation much of the night. Studying his profile, his square jawline peppered with dark stubble, his strong, straight nose and full lips, it takes me a moment to realize he’s waiting for me to respond.