It was bitter realization, and one she was reluctant to make, but she was fooling herself to think this could be only a fling. This was real, heavy, and bigger than anything she’d ever felt before. And it would shatter her soul before it was over.
Still hearing his voice through the door, she pulled the t-shirt over her head, and then turned on the water to mute out the sound. To not listen to the man she was falling in love with talking to another woman.
The water was hard and warm when she stepped into the shower. She let the stream beat down on her, hoping the feeling would offer some sort of distraction. The water warmed her, comforted her, but could never wash away the kisses he ferociously left behind.
The door to the bathroom opened a moment later, and soon Tristan was standing behind her. His body pressed against hers, his arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer again. She told herself not to ask, to enjoy the rest of the evening, and the body that was only hers on loan, but she couldn’t. She needed to know, she needed answers.
Turning to face him, she rested her hands on his bare chest as looked up into his eyes. She couldn’t let herself fall and not try to stop it when she knew all that waited for her was thorns. “Who was that?” she asked.
He looked into her eyes, pleading for her not to ask the question.
“Who was that?” she asked again. She asked for the sixteen-year-old girl who was too insecure to call him out on his behavior. For the girl who wasn’t strong enough to resist a six-year long relationship, even though she knew it wasn’t what she wanted.
He cleared his throat and looked over her head to grab a bottle of soap. “It was my mom.”
She ripped the curtain open, not able to bear his lies, and got out of the shower. She yanked a towel from the rack and wrapped it around her body. “Don’t lie to me.”
Her world was crashing in all around her, the walls, the ceiling. He followed after her, grabbed hold of her arms, and forced her to look up at him. “I don’t lie.”
That was the second time he’d said that to her, and her legs began to shake beneath her. “Is that who can’t live without you?” The words were angry, unbelieving, and held all the insecurities that were overflowing from her very core.
She was outing herself. Making him completely aware of what she’d done, and the expression on his face shifted in an instant. He ripped a towel from the wall, wrapped it around his waist, and went to the bedroom. “Exactly.”
She closed her eyes, not able to open them until the bathroom door closed behind him, leaving her alone, wrapped in guilt, hurt, and trembling like a leaf.
She opened the door again and followed after him, not sure if it was the look on his face or the sound of his voice that made her believe him, but she did. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands, and his back hunched over as though he was in pain.
Her chin began to tremble, but she walked toward him, pressing his head into her belly. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I don’t know what makes me become so insecure around you. I’m so sorry. It’s none of my business—”
He looked up then, cutting her off and making her throat instantly tighten. “My father’s having an affair. Renee doesn’t have a clue, so that’s why I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want to put you in a position to have to lie to her, but please don’t tell her.” His voice was hoarse and shredded, as if he was confessing something that brought him great misery.
She pulled in a breath, trying to get hold of her emotions, because she couldn’t bear seeing him like this. Suddenly she understood him. Understood the man who behaved as though he held the world on his shoulders. Because he did. His family’s world. His sister’s world. The people he loved.
She dropped to her knees in front of him and pulled him to her chest. He grabbed hold of her, wrapping his thick arms around her, hugging her, burying his head in her hair like he was desperate to be close to her.
“It was on a Thursday, right after I got off work. I saw him with my own eyes.” He quieted for a moment, as though trying to pull himself together. “The bastard actually tried to tell me it was nothing.”
She gripped him tighter and kissed the top of his head, urging him to continue.
“He’s having an affair with a thirty-year old woman who was supposed to be his secretary. He’s been lying to us for a long time. Mom and Dad have stopped talking, so I’m trying to juggle all communication. They’re going to try and play nice for Renee, until the wedding is over, but Mom’s a fucking mess.” The words rushed out of him, as though he’d been carrying the burden for far too long. “I’ve never seen her like this.” His voice shredding and she pushed his hair repeatedly back from his face.
Her heart was breaking. Not only for him, but for all of them. Because the Montgomerys were solid. Always together. Always strong. “Renee doesn’t know any of this?” she asked quietly.
“No.”
She swallowed hard, knowing this wasn’t a good idea. “She’s going to know the second she sees them. She’ll sense it.”
He only shook his head, gripping the base of his skull between thumb and forefinger. “That’s what I keep telling Mom, but she’s stubborn. She thinks they’ll be fine. I’m just waiting for everything to fall apart.”
He then looked to her face, searching her eyes. For what she wasn’t sure, but the vulnerability she witnessed made her want to give him everything. A moment later he stood, lifting her up from the floor and into his arms. He sat with her again in the chair beside the bed, gently rocking her. “Don’t ever lie to me, Samantha,” he whispered. “Promise me.”
There was something so heartbreaking about him. So sad. Because she could almost see the little boy who lived inside him. The boy who was sorrowful to learn that his father wasn’t the man he’d always idolized. That he’d cheated on Tristan’s mother. Cheated on their family. “I promise,” Samantha whispered back.
There were tears in her eyes, threatening to spill over. He grabbed her face, his fingers wrapping around her neck. He looked like he wanted to say something. To do something, but he wasn’t sure what. She searched his eyes, silently asking him what he needed, because in that moment, she would do anything.
He finally settled his mouth upon hers, hard, rough, and crushing, as though he needed her body to pull him back from his grief. From the sadness inside that was too hard for him to bear. She kissed him, giving him everything she had. All her hope, all her strength, all her love.
He made love to her again, this time with his whole body. He kissed every inch of her, spilled his seed inside her belly, until his entire weight collapsed on top of her. Heavy, strong, beautiful. She wrapped her arms around him and took all of it. Because something between them had shifted. He’d shared a part of himself that he’d never shared with anyone else. He’d shared his secret, his burden, and she grabbed hold of it knowing she’d never let it go.
They fell asleep a moment later, tangled in each other’s arms. Exhausted. Wasted. And everything between them forever altered.
Chapter Twenty-two
It was still dark when she opened her eyes again. The bed was cold beside her, and she instantly knew something was wrong. Her eyes adjusted to the dim light, and she found Tristan sitting on the edge of the bed, looking off into the distance. She instinctively reached out to him, and he turned around.
He looked tired, thoughtful. “Did I wake you?” he whispered.
She pushed herself up on her elbows, yawning “What time is it?”
“Four in the morning,” he replied. “Go back to sleep.”
But there was something in his voice that frightened her. Something soft, uncertain, that told her what he said wasn’t at all what he wanted. “Is something wrong?” she asked softly, sitting forward to gently rub his back.
“Nah,” he whispered. He hesitated, only a second, but it was long enough. It was as though he had made up his mind about something. He turned around to face her, laying his knee up on the mattress to get comfortable. His face was partially covered by shadow, and he cleared his throat before he began. “I’m going to ask you a question,” he said seriously, “and I want you to be completely honest with me.”