She, Katy Loraine Craigson, had written a love letter exactly one time to Dayton, who had crumpled it up and rolled his eyes and tossed it in the trash while muttering, “Don’t be one of those girls.”
And here she was, braving another one, only this time she wouldn’t see the reaction because she was leaving.
When Kannon had left this morning to go to the Pride meeting, she’d researched on the internet how it was for rogue shifters. Aggression, depression, insanity… The suicide rate alone for them was staggering.
She was going to drag him away from the safety of his Pride, and for what? Because she was selfish? Love wasn’t selfish. That much she’d learned in the last few days. Kannon had taught her that. He was a very good teacher. In the last few days, she’d gotten to know more about herself than she had her entire life. Because of him.
She was a fighter. She thought she couldn’t stand blood, but now look. She’d discovered she could stand blood if she needed to. She didn’t back down when it mattered. She was stronger than she’d thought. She could be a good match. She was valuable. She didn’t fall into love easily, but when she did, she did it with her whole heart. She was vulnerable, but that wasn’t a weakness. Kannon had told her the world needed more of her, and he’d said it with such conviction she had no choice but to believe him.
“I want more time,” Sora said behind her.
Well, that sounded too damn familiar. With a frown, Katy looked behind her and, sure enough, the teeny blond-haired lioness shifter was holding her love letter in front of her.
“That was supposed to be private. It’s not polite to steal stuff off people’s property.”
“This is Tarian property. All’s up for grabs,” she said, and then she continued reading Katy’s letter. “I wish I was like you, or that you were like me, so that the rest of my life wouldn’t be full of those what-if moments.”
“I know what it says, Sora. I was the one who wrote it.”
“Falling in love with you was like the moments before you fall asleep in the winter. You know the ones? Where you crawl under the covers and are so cold, but you hope that it gets warm soon. That moment, the one where you know it’s getting warmer, when the goosebumps go away and you snuggle down deeper into the covers and smile to yourself just before you drift off to sleep… That’s what falling for you felt like. Fuck.”
Katy gripped the handle of her suitcase harder and tossed another look behind her. “I’m pretty sure I didn’t say the F-word in my love note.” But when she saw Sora’s face, she stopped walking. She was close to the check-in station where she could order an Uber. So close. Close to ripping off the Band-Aid and starting her journey to heartache.
But the misery in Sora’s eyes looked a lot like what Katy’s heart felt like.
“What’s wrong?” Katy asked.
“You have to leave, don’t you?” she asked, shoulders sagging as she dropped the crinkled notebook paper to her side.
“I can’t make him go rogue,” Katy murmured. “You know I can’t.”
Sora nodded for a long time, and tears glistened on her cheeks. It broke Katy’s heart even more, so she abandoned the suitcase and made her way to the woman. After only a few seconds of hesitation, Katy wrapped Sora up in her arms and hugged her tight.
“You don’t know what’s coming, do you?” Sora whispered, hugging her tight.
“What do you mean?”
“This isn’t a breakup. It’s breaking a bond. It’s going to hurt for a long time. Forever maybe. Not just you either, but Kannon, too.”
Katy knew she was right. She felt it to her soul that this was very different from any loss she’d suffered in her life before now. Her entire chest felt hollow, like her heart was disappearing with every step she took away from him. “I know.”
“Can I at least give you a ride into town? I want to show you something before you go.”
“What is it?”
“Something I’ve never shown anyone. Something I’ll never show anyone again.” Sora released her and shrugged miserably. Her cheeks were pink and damp. “It’s where I come from. You’re the closest thing I have to a friend here.”
“You’re my friend, too.” Katy smiled and nodded. “Sure. One last hoorah. Show me where you’re from.”
Sora left and returned a few minutes later with an old brown and cream Chevy pickup. After she tossed the suitcase into the bed, Katy climbed in, rolled down the window, and rested her head on the seat. Sora rolled right through the open gate with barely a glance for the guard working the check-in station, and as she coasted down the winding mountain road, Katy caught the wind between her fingers. Sora didn’t seem to want to talk, and that was fine with her. Katy, for once, didn’t feel like talking either.
When Sora parked in a gravel lot near a swinging bridge, Katy finally asked, “Where are we?”
“Old Tarian Pride territory. This is where I was made.”
Katy got out and followed Sora across the rickety bridge. On the other side was a big cabin, and behind it two rows of small, one-room cabins. It was a ghost town here. The ground was overgrown with dry, knee-high wild grasses, and the front door to the big cabin was wide open and creaking in the wind. There were several SUVs that were covered in yellow pollen, the tires sitting in overgrown weeds as if they hadn’t moved in a while. The only sound was the groaning of doors, and the chirping of the birds in the trees.
A feeling of deep sadness radiated from every inch of this place.
“This way,” Sora murmured, leading her around the big cabin. “The Old Tarians were really bad. Horrible people. The were the worst of our kind, and I was traded to them for alliances. My brother, Orion, came with me, but he couldn’t protect me from Cassius. I used to be a strong lioness.” Around the corner, there was a smaller cabin right in front of the rows of one-rooms. “That was where the new me was made. The scared me.” Sora turned and leveled Katy with a look she didn’t understand. “That’s where I’m going to make you, too. Only you won’t be scared. I’m going to make you strong.”
Red flags started ringing in Katy’s head. “What?” she asked, backing away slowly.
Sora’s eyes pulsed gold, then bright blue, gold, then blue as she stepped slowly toward her. “I know what it’s like to lose ‘the one.’ The purple bond. I know you probably think I’m crazy, and I know you’ll never forgive me. I won’t forgive myself either. I don’t want to do this, but I have to.” Her voice dipped to a ragged whisper. “It’ll be easier for both of us if you run.”
“Sora, I don’t understand.”
“Run!” she roared, her face twisting into something Katy didn’t recognize. Something monstrous and feline. Something feral.
With a gasp, Katy spun and bolted for the front of the big cabin. She could lock herself inside and call for help. The door had been open. She could hear it creaking over the sound of snarling behind her. Over the sound of breaking bones and grunts of agony. Creak. Creak. Creeeeeaaaaak.
She pushed her legs harder, dug into the earth with her toes, and grabbed the porch railing to keep her balance as she aimed for the stairs.
She almost made it.
Almost.
Her hand touched the door at the same moment agony rippled through her calf, and she was yanked backward with a power she’d never felt before. The slamming of her body against the wooden porch floorboards was nothing compared to the teeth that shredded her leg. Katy screamed under the weight of the lioness.
And the last moments of her life were full of fear, pain, and a bottomless sense of betrayal.
Chapter Eighteen
Oh, what was she becoming, this thing she didn’t recognize? She’d only just discovered how to be comfortable in her own skin, and then she’d shed that skin like a snake. The creature left behind was nothing she’d ever known before.
Now, she was this snarling, ravenous, bloodthirsty…thing.
The worst part was Sora was still here, and she couldn’t die alone like she wanted to.
Katy had never even liked being sick with someone else around. She was one of those pets who wandered off into the woods when it was their time to die, so they could go alone and in peace.
Not that it mattered what she used to be like because the lioness was something different altogether.
She lay on her side looking at her—The Maker. Sora. The name whispered through her mind.
Sora was a lioness, too, lying on her side, mirroring Katy, facing her, tail twitching, gold eyes steady on her. The room was small, and the walls were covered in claw marks.
Katy’s claw marks.
Sora only came in and Changed when Katy was exhausted from shredding the room. She lay on a ripped-up mattress. Stuffing and splinters and broken pieces of furniture littered the room. She’d destroyed it perfectly.
How long had she been here? She didn’t know. Time was different in this body.
Sora inhaled deeply and broke again. Broke into her other self. Her other skin.
She was trying to show Katy how to turn back into a girl, but Katy was bad at this. She was bad at everything.
She sighed and closed her eyes. She couldn’t watch Sora do this again. It made it worse. She was stuck like this forever. The girl in her didn’t exist anymore.
Sora had stolen that from her.
When Sora was done with the breaking bones, she whispered, “I don’t know what to do.”
And for a second Katy actually understood the woman on a basic level.
She didn’t know what to do either.
All she knew was her body ached, and she was sick. Maybe she was dying. God, she hoped she was dying.
The door creaked open, and Sora gasped loudly as a tall man with blond hair walked in slowly, his fiery gold eyes trained on Katy. Or the shell of Katy. His name whispered through her mind, too. Ronin.
“Oh, my God,” he murmured, kneeling. “Sora, what have you done?”